Professor Li Meijin warned children that they must take these four golden steps steadily before they are 18 years old.

I once saw this sentence on the Internet: \”Family education is the root and foundation of a person\’s growth. It is \’Bacon Education.\’\” A child\’s future development depends to a large extent on what kind of nutrition is absorbed from the roots. It can be seen that being a parent has a heavy responsibility. It is precisely because of the pressure that we are often overwhelmed by various anxieties, fearing that we will delay the good opportunity for our children to grow up. However, what is most needed to educate children is not the fear of parents, but wisdom and foresight. Professor Li Meijin once said in a lecture that individual psychological development has a certain path. [Guidebook on Developing Good Habits and Parenting] Givenchy Baby Bear Picture Book, all 15 volumes, PPS download. In the following 4 golden steps of psychological development, we must help children move steadily and well. The first golden step: Emotional satisfaction at 0-3 years old. The first three years of a child\’s life are the most helpless and most needy stage in the world. Their needs are not just physical satisfaction, but also require timely comfort and gentle response from parents to provide children with emotional satisfaction. The emotional relationship that children before the age of 3 need to establish most is attachment. Professor Li Meijin pointed out: \”Attachment is the initial starting point of emotion.\” By establishing a stable and secure attachment relationship, children will gradually build trust and security in the world, and maintain curiosity and desire to explore the outside world. On the contrary, a child who fails to establish a good attachment relationship with his parents will have a collapsed, broken, and unstable inner world. They are cautious, suspicious, and avoidant towards the world, gradually shrinking and wrapping themselves inward, becoming more and more timid. Actor Ma Yili\’s two daughters have very different personalities due to the different parenting methods adopted by their mothers. When her eldest daughter fell in love with horses for 3 months, she cruelly wanted her to be \”independent\” and asked her to sleep in separate beds. She pursued the cruel \”cry immunity method\” and tried to use mechanical negative reinforcement to help her daughter adapt to falling asleep independently as soon as possible. However, my daughter, who was able to sleep independently at three months, always had this problem intermittently. When she was one year old, she became seriously uneasy. She often cried every hour and pestered her mother and refused to let go. Not only on sleeping issues, but also on daily education, Ma Yili is extremely strict with her eldest daughter. When Aima was 1 year old, she put her rice bowl on her head to play with. She was very angry and asked her daughter to pick up all the rice, and even hit her daughter\’s palm. People who love horses living in such an environment are timid and insecure at heart. Whenever she did something wrong, she would always rush to admit her mistake to her mother: \”I\’m sorry, I don\’t dare anymore!\” When playing games with children, she never dared to express her demands. Because all her behavioral patterns are based on the psychological needs of longing for safety and seeking approval, her biggest fear is the fear of rejection and reprimand. The performance of her eldest daughter made Ma Yili fall into self-blame and reflection. After the birth of her second daughter, she changed her distant and cold approach. Instead, she followed the natural intimacy between mother and baby and gave her child gentle care. Under this kind of upbringing, the second daughter\’s character became very cheerful, lively and loving to laugh. Robert S. Feldman pointed out in \”Developmental Psychology\”: \”The quality of attachment in infancy will affect ourHow we build relationships with others for the rest of our lives. \”Before the age of 3, what kind of seeds parents sow in their children\’s hearts will affect their lifelong relationship patterns. Timely satisfaction of physical needs, gentle soothing of psychological needs, and gentle and positive interaction methods are all ways to establish safety. The best way to form attachment can lay the foundation for a child\’s lifelong sense of security. The second golden step: building a good character between the ages of 3 and 6. Someone once asked Professor Li Meijin why she had exhausted all kinds of persuasion, talking, beating, scolding, etc. method, the child is still disobedient? She pointedly pointed out that it is because parents failed to set good rules for their children at the appropriate period. They missed the critical period of character development and failed to establish a correct sense of rules and understand the order of society in their children. It can easily lead to children becoming more and more domineering, selfish and willful. We often see news like this: a little boy kicked off his shoe and hit another boy in the face. After being scolded, the little boy’s mother hurried over Theory: “Why do you discipline my son? \”Everyone in the cinema was watching a movie. A boy was beating the giant movie screen in a fancy way, but his parents turned a blind eye and did not stop him, causing serious damage to the giant screen. In order to please her daughter, a mother even pulled the feathers of a live peacock in the park. All kinds of things. Under the \”maternal love\” of protection, indulgence, and bottomless pampering, what is fueled are infinitely expanding desires and souls. Parents\’ bottomless education is like cups of poisonous wine, which will only make people lose their way and fall into the abyss. . Recommended best-selling parenting books in the world: You are your child’s best toy pdf+mp3 A child who is always given and never asks for anything will never learn to be grateful; a child who is always satisfied and has never experienced rejection , cannot learn to restrain; a child who is always protected and has never accepted criticism cannot learn to take responsibility. Every kind, warm-hearted, and sunny child needs parents to put the concept of right and wrong, rules and regulations into their daily education. Consciousness is transmitted to them. Lucky, the daughter of Qi Wei and Lee Seung-hyun, is a lively, cute and polite little girl. While many people are impressed by Lee Seung-hyun\’s \”daughter slave\” fatherly love, they are also shocked by his \”strict father\” image. One time, Lucky couldn\’t help but play with a dangerous car. Lee Seung-hyun warned her many times but to no avail. He took his daughter away very firmly, told her that this behavior was wrong, and took her to the corner. \” \”I was punished to stand\”. Seeing this scene, I couldn\’t help but be surprised and admired. As parents, we can\’t help but be overflowing with paternal and maternal love. We are dazzled by the cuteness of our children and fall into an extreme protective desire, trying to protect our children from everything. Rationalization of behavior. However, this kind of \”over-indulgence\” by parents actually reflects their own immaturity and distrust of their children\’s ability to accept. Real love is not just approval and response, but also appropriate rejection and Experience setbacks. Therefore, when faced with children’s unreasonable demands, you must be willing to refuse; when your children make mistakes, you must point them out gently and firmly, and ask them to take responsibility appropriately; before the age of 6, please grasp the rules and regulations. During the critical period, let children realize the edges and boundaries of the world, and with the nourishment of love, help them build a positive and sunny outlook on life.Character prototype. The third golden step: 6-12 years old, cultivating a sense of value. Some time ago, there was a hot search on Weibo for \”985 college students who laugh at themselves as waste\”, attracting 200 million people to watch. The reason why they call themselves \”waste\” is that many of them, apart from performing well in \”questions\” and \”exams\”, find that their excellence is actually a trap when they enter society. Many of them can\’t find jobs that match their academic qualifications, and their salaries are comparable to ordinary people; some can\’t find jobs after graduating from prestigious schools and endure toothache for more than a month; others, repeatedly Changing majors across industries, they are like headless flies without knowing where to go… These children have high IQs and good grades, but they lack direction and goals in life and lack a sense of value. Professor Li Meijin said that every child has his or her own talents, and the responsibility of parents is to help their children find their own abilities and strengths, that is, to find their own self-worth. When children find their own interests and hobbies, they develop a strong internal drive that encourages them to be self-disciplined and grow. In Kunming, Yunnan, there is a 7-year-old girl named Song Xinni. Her 800-meter time is 3 minutes and 40 seconds. Her dream is to participate in the Olympic Games. To this end, she participated in arduous training, including hurdles, relays, and running, 4 times a week. Facing the camera, her eyes shone: \”My idol is Liu Xiang. The training now is very hard, but I am also very happy.\” Such a child combines talent with fun and puts her dreams into action and sweat every day. Only in this way can you gain a sense of accomplishment and value, and become a source of motivation for your own efforts. For every child, personality, IQ, and talents are different. It is the responsibility of parents to respect their nature and interests and allow them the space to explore their values. Instead of blindly comparing results and extinguishing the child\’s true love with anxiety, it is better to accept the child\’s true appearance and help him find better development. Just like Professor Li Meijin\’s daughter, poor math scores just mean that she is not good at logical thinking. Through observation and weighing, Professor Li discovered that his daughter was interested in music and particularly liked children, so he trained her to become a music teacher. Now her daughter is very happy at work. The poet Yeats said: \”The mission of education is not to fill a bucket of water, but to light a fire.\” Ignite the flame in the child\’s heart and talk to the child about the future and life, rather than focusing on a score on the test paper. Let children have the ability and belief to pursue the distant goal and walk there step by step. This is the path they should take. The fourth step: 12-18 years old, go through adolescence smoothly. \”The father of adolescent psychology\” Stanley Hall said: \”Adolescence is a transitional stage full of hesitation and contradictory emotions, and it is a turbulent period of life. \”I have experienced how troublesome adolescent children are. Recommended classic parenting books: Zheng Yefu’s Educational Pathology in Our Country pdf download Last night, the neighbor’s eldest brother upstairs had a fierce fight with his son. A fierce conflict broke out between them because of a problem with their mobile phones. The father yelled: \”I am your father, you have to listen to me, and I can\’t control you anymore?\” The son replied: \”Why should you care about me? Don\’t care about me!\” Then there was a cup being thrown., slamming books, slamming doors. Adolescent children are like a wild horse with explosive hair that no one can hold back. No matter whether the parents speak nicely or criticize, it seems that they can only get resistance from them. The most important reason for this out-of-control situation is that children are growing up rapidly. On the one hand, their eagerness to be independent makes them unwilling to accept other people\’s suggestions and prove \”I can do it\” by denying others and affirming themselves; on the other hand, physical development and hormone growth lead to mood swings and extreme instability. The desire to establish identity and seek autonomy creates an adolescent child who is internally conflicted, easily excited, and rejects others. For parents, it is important to help their children go through this period smoothly and avoid being impulsive and intensifying conflicts. There is a father on Zhihu whose way of getting along with his adolescent daughter is amazing. The daughter asked her father to help with school selection. The father said, \”I don\’t know much about it. You should see for yourself first.\” When his daughter failed to do well in the exam, the father said, \”If you feel bad, just cry for a while. Don\’t hold it in.\” The mother encouraged the father to control his daughter\’s choice of major, but the father said: \”No, the child has a good idea.\” It can be summed up in six words: show weakness, respect, and trust. Only children who gain respect and a sense of strength can separate themselves from the false self and return to their true self. He does not need to put up all the thorns on his body to prove his strength. Instead, he can relax and relieve himself from tension, put away his hostility, and reconcile with his parents. Teacher Li Meijin said: For the four golden steps of children\’s growth, they must first take the first three. In the fourth stage, children can achieve self-improvement and self-improvement through their own cognitive adjustments. Before the age of 6, it is necessary to \”educate\” in the process of \”raising\” to give him a sense of security and a good character; from 6 to 18 years old, the focus is on \”teaching\” to give him a sense of value and good social adaptability. Recommended books on scientific parenting. I really hope my parents have read this book and download the electronic version. They can take every step smoothly and help their children become better versions of themselves. This is the best love for children.