How to raise children who are happy, warm and have sound personalities?

Educator Rousseau once said: \”A person\’s education begins when he is born. He has been educated before he can speak or listen to others. The foundation of education is the family.\” Children are seeds, and families are It is the soil, and the future of the child, in the final analysis, depends on the skill of the parents. What does good family education look like? Perhaps, the answer lies in the 12 pictures below. Give your children positive hints and your children will give you surprises. Two children were doing homework, and a mother said: \”Write well, don\’t always be so sloppy.\” But the children still made frequent mistakes. Another mother stood aside and whispered: \”You must be very confident if you are so serious.\” As a result, the child completed the task quickly and well. There is a self-fulfilling prophecy phenomenon in psychology, which means that the expectations of others will affect behavioral patterns, so that reality will eventually move closer to expectations. When Edison was a child, his thinking was different from that of ordinary people. The teacher thought that he had a mental defect, but his mother insisted: \”My child is a genius, and he will become a great person in the future.\” What kind of \”hints\” do parents give their children will shape their children? children. Negative psychological hints are like drawing the earth into a prison, making the child increasingly decadent and discouraged, and trapping the future in a cage; positive psychological hints are like turning stones into gold, giving the child courage and strength, and guiding him to sail away. Children need space to grow. Please respect their boundaries. Psychologist Wu Zhihong believes that the biggest contradiction in the Chinese-style parent-child relationship is the lack of a sense of boundaries. In the name of love, how many parents have hindered their children all their lives: spoiling them and hindering their growth; restraining them and hindering their high flying. \”Your Child is Not Your Child\” says: \”Children are not clay. Parents can mold them into whatever they want. Children also have their own lives and they belong to themselves.\” The most difficult thing about being a parent is not No matter how much love you give, you need to know how to withdraw at the right time: If you withdraw from the dining table at the age of 3, the child can learn to eat by himself; if you withdraw from the bathroom at the age of 5, the child will understand the boundaries of the body; if you withdraw from the room at the age of 8, the child will know how to respect privacy; if you withdraw from the kitchen at the age of 10, the child can Learn to live independently…the more you love your children, the more you need to leave room for them to grow. Instead of weaving an \”iron net\” for children with gentle shackles, it is better to let them go and let them fly better. The educational effect of 103 kinds of games for young children: American student games and quality training manual to cultivate children\’s cooperation, self-esteem, communication, and emotional intelligence PDF. Don\’t underestimate an introverted child. \”How can a child adapt to society if he is introverted and unsociable?\” In the eyes of many parents, he seems to be introverted. =Low emotional intelligence, timid, unsociable, not easy to succeed… But is introversion really a flaw? Psychologist Jung pointed out in \”Psychological Types\” that introversion and extroversion are innate personality traits, and there is no distinction between superior and inferior, but the energy they obtain is different. Introverted children also have their own rich inner world. They are taciturn but more focused; they enjoy solitude but never indulge. After 30 years of research on social elites, American scholar Linda Silverman found that the higher the IQ, the more obvious the tendency of introversion; among a group of successful people, nearly 70% are introverts character. Introversion is an underestimated advantage. What introverted children lack is not correction, but acceptance and tolerance. The problem of children\’s growth is not terrible. This is their way of exploring the world. Children\’s growth is a mixed blessing for parents. While we are happy with every detail of the child\’s growth, we are also thinking about everything about the child: children like to eat their fingers and eat. What to do with dirty things? When your child is learning to walk, how distressed is it if he accidentally falls? If my child has a bad temper and conflicts with other children, will he be bullied? American writer Jenny Arim once said: \”It is not terrible that children have problems. What is terrible is that parents, who are the guides of their children\’s lives, lack correct educational concepts and methods.\” A child\’s growth is inseparable from the exploration of the world. . Every problem he encounters is an opportunity for transformation; every small step he takes is a giant step toward the world. Wise parents will not become controllers and build a wall for their children; instead, they will serve as observers and companions, allowing them to run into the vast world. Some children just wake up late, but don’t worry, spring will come. There are many children around us who wake up late and are always unsatisfactory no matter what they do. It seems that their grades are lagging behind and their future is bleak. But in fact, they are not waiting stupidly, but are silently accumulating strength. When the time comes, he will explode his energy with a burning posture. Just like the \”Ghost Bamboo\” in Sichuan, in the first five years of growth, you can hardly see it growing. Until the sixth year, it will grow to 30-40 meters in less than half a year. Scientists\’ longitudinal studies of brain development have found that many children\’s brains don\’t fully mature until they are at least 25 years old. Being temporarily behind is not terrible. What is terrible is the blow and abandonment of parents. The later a child wakes up, the more they need acceptance and support, because they have to walk a longer road than others. No matter how bad it is, please stand firmly with your children. Zhihu hot post: At what moment were you completely disappointed with your parents? The most heartbreaking answer: \”When you are surrounded by strange eyes and they look on coldly and think you are useless.\” Every child will make mistakes and get into trouble. Making mistakes is not terrible. What is terrible is that parents put their children in isolation. A helpless situation. Good parents are always a safe haven for their children, rather than a place to deal with wounds; they are able to defeat problems with their children, rather than defeating them with problems. Even if it seems that the child is stupid and cannot get ahead, even if someone says that the child is very bad and hopeless, you must firmly tell him: I love you and will always stand with you. Isn\’t that what true love is? When he had flowers and applause, we watched silently in the audience; when he hit rock bottom, we gave him the courage to bounce back. There is no need to demand a perfect life from their children. Many parents find it difficult to accept their children\’s \”problems\” and ignore their children\’s \”shortcomings\”: if their children are lively, they think they are not quiet enough; if their children are quiet, they think they lack exercise; if their children like to exercise outside, they think they are not active enough. Afraid of delaying homework; if a child is good at homework, he requires that he also perform well in music, body, and beauty… Psychologists believe that excessive demand for perfection is a cancer of desire in education, and what follows is often the control of parents in every detail. , and the child\’s growing sense of powerlessness.Children who grow up with perfect expectations do not dare to try or make mistakes, and naturally they cannot fumble towards success. Bai Yansong once said: \”The best way to destroy a person is to let him pursue perfection and reach the extreme.\” Instead of forcing children to become so-called \”perfect\” children, it is better to let go of anxiety and use acceptance and trust to encourage children to become better. of myself. Respect the differences of children, they are unique treasures. There are no two identical leaves in the world, and there are no identical children in the world. Raising a child is like planting a magical seed, you never know what it will grow into. Maybe it\’s a delicate flower, maybe it\’s a towering tree, or maybe it\’s a stubborn grass… They bloom at different times and grow in different ways. Some need to stand tall in the sky, some need to thrive by the river; some are used to being shrouded in clouds and fog, while others long for sunshine. Every child is a unique treasure. We cannot use the same ruler to measure different lives and then divide them into three, six or nine grades. Education is awakening, not transformation. The mission of parents is to understand and accept the differences of each child, to pay attention to and care for each child\’s growth needs, and then allow him to bloom in his own unique way. What is more important than teaching children to win is teaching them the courage to face setbacks. Every child will experience setbacks, large and small, in their life. When faced with failure, it is inevitable that they sometimes \”cannot afford to lose.\” From a child psychology perspective, this is a normal phenomenon. But many times, children cannot afford to lose because their parents want to win too much. \”You won? That\’s awesome! You are the best!\” \”You did so poorly on the exam, why are you so useless!\” These responses undoubtedly tell the children: Failure is shameful, and only by \”winning\” can you get the recognition of your parents. recognized. The British BBC children\’s emotional intelligence training cartoon Feeling Better has 25 episodes in 1080P. Educationist Li Xigui said: \”Teaching children from \’pursuing to win\’ to \’learning to lose\’ determines the fate of their lives.\” In the face of setbacks, what children need first is Unconditional emotional support from parents, followed by actions to face challenges and difficulties together. Only when parents face it calmly can children be unafraid of wind and rain and failure; only when parents actively support children can they withstand setbacks and win beautifully. Encouragement and appreciation are the foundation for children\’s transformation. I have heard a saying: It is better to reward one child after counting ten. Reprimands will only suppress the soul, but encouragement can develop potential. There is a term in psychology called the \”Hawthorne Effect\”, which means that when people realize that they are being noticed, they will deliberately change some behaviors or verbal expressions. Good parents are always their children\’s \”evaluators\”: affirming their efforts, appreciating their attitudes, encouraging their creativity, and praising their tenacity. Parents who are picky cannot raise children with strong hearts. Parents who are good at appreciating and encouraging can give their children the confidence and motivation to transform. As writer Lin Qingxuan said: \”No matter what kind of child they are, love is the best education, and the best way to express love is joy, encouragement and appreciation.\” Take your time and give your children more patience. There is a German proverb : Patience is a very bitter plant, but its fruit is very sweetbeautiful. When raising children, parents should be slower, more patient, and infiltrate slowly and gently. Children who grow up with patience will stand firmer, walk further, know how to persevere, and know how to take responsibility. Mr. Hei Youlong, the author of \”Slow Raising\” said: \”Slow Raising is not about slowness in time, but about relaxation in mentality. Allowing children to do things that belong to their own growth stage is the best education.\” In fact, that view The seemingly meek children just have their own development time zone and are following their own pace within the time zone. He took his time, not a step ahead, not a point behind, everything was on time. Step by step, bit by bit, we finally achieve success. It is inevitable that parenting is difficult and sometimes it is good to be a Buddha at all. Some people say that only after becoming a parent do you realize that the farthest distance in the world is not the distance in space, but the distance between thinking and doing. They know that they need to be seductive, tolerant and kind, but they often get angry and violent; they know that their children need to have a happy childhood, but they are afraid that they will lose at the starting line and run away without stopping… In the process of raising children, if parents feel pain, The child will certainly not be happy either. Therefore, instead of being ineffective and anxious, it is better to be \”Buddha\”, relax yourself, and leave some space for your children. \”Buddha\” does not mean to escape or give up, but to accept and encourage. It is to follow the child\’s nature and give the initiative to the child; it is to give yourself a chance to relax and give your child space to grow. Taking a step back in education is precisely the greatest progress for parents. Habits to cultivate primary school students\’ daily behavioral norms English cartoon wallpaper ultra-clear PDF In fact, there is no standard answer to what is the best education. Parenting is like driving a car. There is no road condition that allows us to cruise at a fixed speed and sit back and relax. We can only keep our eyes open, adjust the speed according to the road conditions, sometimes change lanes, sometimes brake, and occasionally stop when we encounter a red light. Psychologist Winnicott said: \”When children look up at their parents\’ faces, they see themselves.\” The only way to educate is to cultivate yourself persistently. Walk side by side with your children, keep walking and grow.