These 8 signs of low self-esteem mean you are raising a child with low self-esteem

I recently saw a video in which a little black girl saw herself in the camera and suddenly exclaimed, \”I\’m so ugly.\” What is the Primary School Mathematical Olympiad? 24 math lessons on how to effectively improve your grades? The hairstylist who tied her hair was shocked and said loudly, \”Don\’t talk about yourself like that! You are very cute and not ugly at all!\” But the child was so wronged that she burst into tears. The hairstylist hugged her and shed tears: \”You have two cute little dimples. How many people have a pair of dimples? No one!\” \”You will grow up and become whatever you want to be – you will become the best manicurist, the best. Lawyers, doctors, teachers, the best entrepreneurs!\” \”You are still a four-year-old child, you should be happy, ugliness has nothing to do with you!\” When your child is troubled by low self-esteem, is there any Can anyone tell him that there are actually countless possibilities in your life? Psychology Adler mentioned in the book \”Inferiority and Transcendence\”: The feeling of inferiority exists from infancy, which stems from the natural dependence of weak children on adults. But if it develops to a certain extent as it grows, it will inevitably affect the child\’s physical and mental health. If you want to help your child, it is important to first be aware of your child\’s inferiority complex. Children\’s excessive low self-esteem generally has the following 8 characteristics: they are weak outside and domineering at home. It\’s interesting to see the neighbor\’s child. Every time I meet him in the elevator, he always hides timidly behind his grandparents and doesn\’t dare to say hello. say. We all thought he was just introverted, but we heard his grandmother complain: This child is a coward at home and a very vicious family! Children are actually afraid of the unfamiliar environment and competitive pressure from the outside world. Such children have low self-esteem and their own weakness, so they run into an environment that makes them feel strong. If parents deliberately criticize their children for being \”cowardly at home and outside\” at this time, it will only make the children gradually lose their sense of security in the family. Help them establish a channel to explore the outside world. Don\’t force the child to reach a certain level right away. Instead, demonstrate by letting the child watch you do it first, and then be positive when he makes a little progress, such as taking the initiative to say hello or singing a song. encourage. \”Wow! How did you do that!\” Such words can help children get rid of their inferiority complex and feel that I can do it too! Use bravery + violence to cover up the fear of three children standing in front of the lion cage. The first child was trembling all over: \”I want to go home.\” The second child looked pale and said, \”I\’m not afraid at all.\” The third child stared at the lion intently and asked, \”Mom, can I spit on it?\” ?\” In fact, in such an environment, the three children were extremely scared, but some children deliberately used aggression to cover up their inner panic. Children actually have \”an inferiority complex in the face of fear.\” This may be related to the external demands on him, which prevent him from accepting himself as \”so bad and so timid\”. Although he has been trying to prove that he is brave and powerful through attacks, provocations and other behaviors, these behaviors cannot really help him overcome his inner inferiority complex, but instead anesthetize himself with a false and misplaced sense of superiority. Just like Will in \”Good Will Hunting\”, he works as a janitor at MIT and is extremely smart but perverse and rebellious. Many \”problem children\” are among them.In fact, they are all of this type. The more rebellious and unruly they are, the more violent and rebellious they are, the more parents need to see the inferiority and powerlessness behind their children\’s behavior. \”Actually, it\’s not your fault.\” It was with these words that the psychological counselor Sean melted Will\’s disguise and made the boy feel for the first time: It\’s not my fault that I\’m not loved. I am worthy of existing. Deliberately concealing shortcomings When I was a child, I always felt that my legs were thick and bow-legged. I was afraid that other classmates would laugh at me, so I always wore long skirts in the summer and long coats in the winter. But the more you conceal it, the more attention others will pay to you. Later, when my classmates got together, some people would still call me \”bow-legged girl.\” If I\’m afraid that I\’m short, I secretly put on the height-increasing insoles. I\’m afraid that others won\’t take me seriously, so I keep gesturing and using expressions when talking. Behind all deliberate words and deeds, there is a sense of inferiority that requires special efforts to eliminate. Since shortcomings exist, it is better to \”symbiosis\” with them. My dad once told me: If you think your legs don’t look good, then find a way to exercise them. At the same time, don’t forget that just because your legs are not straight does not prevent you from running faster than others. She often belittles herself and says that she is not as good as Sayaka from \”Bottom Hot Girl\”. She thinks that no matter how hard she works, she will never get good grades. Holding the 0-point test paper, she looks disapproving, but in her heart she thinks, \”I\’m just a fool, like those It is impossible for outstanding children to go to college.\” Such children are used to failure and always focus on what they don\’t do well. The more you do poorly, the more you like to compare with others, and the deeper you fall into an inferiority complex. The more you like a child who belittles himself, don\’t \”label\” him. Try using exception questions: Have you never gotten it right? As long as you use an example, you can prove to your children that you can never do it. Tears and apologies are often used to gain sympathy and forgiveness, as opposed to using anger to cover up fear. Some children appear particularly weak and start sobbing when their elders speak louder to them. I did something wrong, and before I even said anything to her, I immediately burst into tears as if I had been greatly wronged. Such children tend to attract more attention – both out of care and love. Anger, tears, and apologies can all be signs of low self-esteem. If a child discovers that tears are the best weapon to control others, he will become a crybaby. In addition to paying attention to the true inner needs of their children, parents must also clarify their children\’s true inner goals. Whether the child is noisy, coquettish or crying, we must be gentle but firm. Julian, a rich boy in \”Miracle Boys\” who likes to comment and criticize others, sneered at Auggie, who had facial flaws, when they first met. Later, Auggie\’s face was even erased from the class photo, and \”For the sake of everyone, go to hell\” was written on the back. People only saw Julian\’s acrimony, but did not know that he grew up in a demanding environment. Julian Some parents said that Auggie\’s face gave their children nightmares, and even said that their children\’s school violence was no big deal, and privately decided to withdraw their children from school. Children who like to judge others often live in an environment where they are often \”judged\”. Deliberately Ridiculing others stems from self-evaluation of inferiority. Parents’When a child is accepted and recognized, a positive evaluation system will be activated in the child\’s heart. If parents are used to being picky and harsh on their children, what their children will learn is to be picky and mocking. Always blame others for the fault Adler described inferiority complex this way: When a person encounters a problem that he cannot solve and thinks that he cannot solve the problem at all, the emotion that appears is inferiority complex. When a child encounters a problem, he always says: It’s all your fault! If you hadn\’t called me earlier, I wouldn\’t be late! This is all my fault, Teacher XX, she didn’t teach well, that’s why I got so many questions wrong. In order to achieve the goal faster, a person with low self-esteem will choose the best and most effective way – to blame others. Remind your children that complaining and shirking responsibility will do nothing to change their situation. Face the problem squarely and learn \”internal attribution.\” First look for problems within yourself, list specific areas 1, 2, and 3 that can be improved, and then seek cooperation and help from others. Children who are particularly dependent on their father/mother are unwilling to have contact with other people. Children are particularly dependent on parents of the opposite sex. For example, boys are particularly dependent on and clingy to their mothers. They like their mothers to accompany them when eating and sleeping, but are alienated or even resistant to their fathers. This kind of attachment to the parents of the opposite sex is actually a manifestation of the \”drawing ground as a prison\” for people with low self-esteem: this state often appears in children who are spoiled by their mothers. Because of his lack of security, he can no longer pay attention to anyone except the few people he is most familiar with. As parents, in addition to providing timely responses to children in their early years, we also need to let them understand that with their own efforts, they can also win warm feelings outside the family. The child who looks fierce and domineering has a deep lack of self-confidence hidden inside. The child who looks weak and helpless may be exchanging tears for sympathy. We must teach our children that there is nothing abnormal about feeling inferior. Zhou Hong Appreciation Education Case Video Original Full Series 6VCD+mp3 On the contrary, it can promote us to understand our true selves and explore countless possibilities in the future by accepting our own imperfections. Do these 8 signs exist in the process of raising your children?