What should I do if my child lacks self-confidence?

How does it feel for a child who has lacked self-confidence since childhood? Someone once made a summary on the Internet: walk slowly, lower your head, and huddle on the side of the road when meeting people; speak in a low voice; dare not look at people\’s faces… In each of them, you can see a child with low self-esteem hidden deep inside. The tangled and timid heart behind it. Such children are not only full of depression and gloom in their hearts, but they are also prone to hesitation in life and even lose many opportunities in the future. As parents, we all want to raise a sunny, confident, and generous child. If you want your children to get rid of their low self-esteem, you might as well try these 4 \”golden healing rules\” to help your children find their way back to self-confidence. Rosenthal effect: Confident children are “browed”. The famous “Rosenthal effect” once pointed out: If you give others certain expectations, the other person will unknowingly accept your influence. Make this expectation a reality. Therefore, if your child is often encouraged, affirmed, and receives positive cues, he will become more and more confident and develop in the direction you affirm. This is how American mothers teach self-confidence pdf download. In \”Dear Little Desk\”, Fu Seoul uses the most real and direct way to interpret the impact of \”praise\”. When she saw that the little boy Kaikai was doing his homework seriously, she praised him: \”Who raised such a good son? I will ask your mother tonight.\” But Kaikai lowered his head and said, \”Mom said I am not good. , she says something bad about me every day.\” It turns out that Kaikai has always been the \”primary school tyrant\” in the eyes of others, but Kaikai\’s mother is usually very stingy about praising Kaikai for fear that her child will be distracted. The child\’s lack of recognition makes him less and less confident. However, Fu Seoul started the \”praise mode\” in the show. When Kaikai just walked in, Fu Seoul praised him, \”You are very cute.\” Later, he would praise him as a very good child, and then affirm his intelligence. It is these recognitions and positive comments from others that gradually awaken Kaikai\’s affirmation of himself. After regaining his confidence, he not only regained his smile, but also regained his motivation and motivation for learning. It has to be said that no child can resist \”praise\” like Fu Seoul. Even her son Duole has become extremely confident under her \”praise\” education. I once read an article \”Me in Twenty Years\” written by Duo Le: \”I think that in twenty years I will be tall and handsome, with a bright smile, and many goddesses will like me…\” \”Twenty Years Later\” In the next year, I may be a policeman, fighting violence. I may be an athlete, sweating and bringing honor to the country…\” \”I may be a scholar, reading more, and becoming a pillar of the country. Or I may become a star, being people\’s pistachio, and… Handsome and meaningful.\” Between the lines, there is full of appreciation and expectation for myself. Every confident child \”boasts\” big things. When he makes progress or performs well, parents may wish to praise him from the bottom of his heart, objectively and concretely for his seriousness and hard work. This will make him realize that he is recognized and that his efforts are meaningful. The words and actions recognized by the outside world not only inject infinite energy into him like the warm sun, but also make him better. The essence of human nature is the desire to appreciate. Only with recognition and appreciation can children’s potentialTalents are stimulated, confidence becomes stronger and stronger, and self-identity becomes stronger. Sandwich Effect: When a child makes a mistake, protecting his self-esteem is the prerequisite for him to be confident. Have you ever discovered that when a child makes a mistake, the more you criticize the child and \”provoke\” him in a negative way, the worse the child becomes. Not long ago, a 9-year-old boy ran away from home in Zhuji. The reason is that he and his friends set off firecrackers to scare dogs at home during the holidays, climbed the fence to pick dates, and played games until midnight. After learning the truth, his mother was very angry and criticized him severely, so he ran away angrily. But when the police found him, his anxious mother did not immediately care about his safety. Instead, she criticized and accused him all over again. When a child makes a mistake, parents are accustomed to using various methods to discipline him so that he can learn from his mistakes and correct them. However, blind criticism will make children who make mistakes feel not care and love, but disgust, denial and non-acceptance. I am reminded of a question asked by psychologist Dr. Jane Nelson: \”Where did we get such an absurd concept that if we want to make a child better, we should first make him feel worse?\” Simple and crude criticism. , will only directly hurt our children, cause the child\’s inner resistance, and even make him break the jar. If you want your children to truly accept criticism, you might as well try the \”sandwich effect\” in psychology: that is, sandwich the content of criticism between two praises, first express recognition and affirmation to the child, then criticize, and finally encourage and trust. I read a post: There is a little boy who often plays and forgets to do his homework after coming home from school every day. The more his mother criticizes and dismisses him, the more he procrastinates. No amount of training worked, so my mother simply tried another method. Seeing him playing with Lego, he walked over and said, \”You have been doing very well recently and are very diligent at home. Mom thinks you have made great progress. But you haven\’t finished your homework today. If you can finish it first, then It would be even better if you go play with Lego.\” When the child heard this, he thought it made sense, so he put down the Lego and walked into the room to start doing homework. The mother\’s words have three meanings: first, it is affirmation, allowing the child to let go of the tension of communication; second, it is criticism, hinting at what the child needs to change; and finally, it is encouragement, conveying expectations for the child. Every child who makes mistakes has a heart that longs to be accepted. As parents, you need to first give your children the assurance of love and let them believe that even if they make mistakes, they are still treasures cherished by their parents. Promote the child more than belittle it. Let the child sincerely believe that \”my parents discipline me is for my own good.\” Protecting his self-esteem is the prerequisite for protecting his self-confidence. Home Advantage Effect: Children’s Territory, Children are in Charge Once I watched an NBA game with my son and discovered an interesting phenomenon: Teams that play at home can basically win, but when it comes to away games, it’s difficult to win. The same momentum as the opponent. I checked out out of curiosity and found out that this phenomenon is the \”home field advantage effect.\” According to research by child psychologists, this \”home field advantage effect\” also applies to ordinary education of children. I remember that when my son was young, every time I took him back to his hometown to visit relatives and friends, he would always be a little shy and reserved, and would not dare to speak much. But as soon as he got home, especially his classmates came to see him, he looks like a \”little master\” again. Bring tea and water, take the initiative to care, and talk about everything. Psychology experts have said: Children\’s autonomy and self-confidence are inseparable. Children are more familiar and comfortable with their own territory. In such an environment, children\’s confidence will be greatly enhanced. Improving children\’s sense of autonomy can change their self-confidence. Give him more sovereignty and let him be the \”master\” for a time, so that he can have more room to play freely. A mother next to me taught her son this way. When he was a child, his son did not dare to speak in front of outsiders and always hid shyly. She did not force her son to speak, but found ways to activate his children\’s initiative. For example, if you invite neighbors or your son\’s good friends to your home more often, let him be responsible for greeting the guests; for example, when you go shopping with your son, you will actively ask your son what he wants to buy and let him make the planning and decision; for example, if you take your son to participate in group activities, He would bring his son to the scene in advance and act as a \”little assistant\” to others. Through these methods, she found that her son\’s courage was slowly being tempered, and he became more and more daring to express himself. Smart parents know how to give their children the opportunity to make decisions. When the child is older, parents can also \”delegate power\” to him and regard him as the backbone of the family. They will communicate with him on all major and minor matters, so that he can experience the feeling of being the master of the family. When talking to your child, give him more opportunities to express and encourage him to share. This not only cultivates the child\’s sense of responsibility, but also enhances his sense of value and autonomy, making him more and more confident. Letting children spend more time on their \”home field\” is the fastest way to cultivate their self-confidence. Wallach Effect: A child\’s success often depends on his strengths. More than 100 years ago, there was a little German boy. His parents hoped that he would achieve literary attainments in the future, so they asked him to major in literature. However, he did not show any talent in this area. The teacher felt that his rigid personality was not suitable for studying literature and persuaded him to quit. Later, he was arranged to learn painting. But drafting, composition, polishing…he couldn\’t learn these basic painting skills no matter how much he learned, and even the most basic aesthetics was poor. The art teacher openly disliked him: \”You are a talent that cannot be cultivated in the art world.\” The successive denials made him doubt whether he was really \”a rotten wood that cannot be carved.\” It wasn\’t until a chemistry teacher discovered that he was serious, dedicated, and had the qualities to learn chemistry that he guided him step by step. This allowed him to find the right direction and discover his true potential, and he became more and more successful on the road of chemistry, eventually becoming a master. This stupid kid in the past became a great man later, the Nobel Prize winner in Chemistry, the German chemist Otto Wallach. Based on his growth experience, later generations summarized it as the \”Wallach Effect\”, that is: everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. As long as you find your best position and unleash the potential of your strengths, you can achieve success. Amazing achievement. In the Indian movie \”Stars on Earth\”, the 8-year-old boy Ethan was once considered a \”mentally retarded child\” in everyone\’s eyes. His academic performance is poor, he ranks last in the class, he has all kinds of weird ideas in his head all day long, and he often gets into trouble. After many complaints from teachers, his parents couldn\’t bear it and sent him to boarding school, leaving him to fend for himself. Even he felt that heGood for nothing, gray inside. Fortunately, a teacher named Nick did not give up on him and discovered his extraordinary painting talent. Under the guidance and guidance of Mr. Nick, he tried to pick up a paintbrush, used his imagination, and slowly showed off his amazing painting skills. He also gained a more positive understanding of himself, and from then on, he became obsessed with color. Every \”Ethan\” that is misunderstood is just a \”genius\” who is on the wrong track. Far-sighted parents are committed to being \”diggers\” of their children\’s talents. They will not blindly put their children in areas that they are not good at, but work hard to explore their children\’s shining points and spend time with their children to find the best starting point. In this way, children can truly reflect their abilities and values, and swim towards success more confidently. The British writer Persin said: \”Besides personality, the greatest loss in life is the loss of self-confidence.\” Bearing in mind the history and culture of self-confidence, China Documentary CCTV Network Complete Works Ultra-clear 1080P Children still have a long way to go in life. In addition to giving them enough You should not only spend money on food and drink, but also protect his self-esteem and give him the warmest care. Especially when he lacks confidence and needs external support and help, don\’t forget to give him enough psychological nutrients, enrich his inner self, and let him replenish his life energy bit by bit. Only parents can be good guides for their children, provide them with the security they deserve, and give them the trust and security they deserve.