When you learn to love yourself, that is the strongest trump card in education

I once saw a netizen leave a message: \”My brother and I are only more than one year apart. My mother pushed us to grow up. My father is very busy and rarely has time to take care of the family. My mother works very hard every day, but there are also many things to watch. She was used to complaining about her father being homeless, complaining about her family not loving her, complaining about how unsatisfactory life was… She pinned her hopes in life on my brother and me, which made me feel very heavy every time I heard it. So when I was a child, the happiest times were often When mothers are happy.\” When mothers are together, the most common thing they hear is this sigh: After getting married and having children, I have no time for myself! You see, since I gave birth to my child, I have fallen behind in my work and become older and uglier! I haven’t contacted my classmates and friends for a long time! I haven’t gone shopping for a long time! My whole person has changed, it doesn’t look like me anymore! If all the efforts can be exchanged for the happiness of the family, it will be worth it, but things often go against expectations. The children do not appreciate the hard work, and nine out of ten of them have unsatisfactory grades. What is even worse is that the parent-child relationship is not as good as expected. What does the child have? He doesn\’t want to tell you anything, and you have become the stranger he is most familiar with. Due to excessive focus on your children, the relationship between you and your partner has also undergone some subtle changes, and it seems that it is not as close as before… Many people pour all their hope and happiness into their children and family members, and pay a lot, but in the end they get something back. But it is my own temper and complaints, and my child\’s despair and avoidance. I once had a friend. When her child refused to eat, she said in a begging tone: \”Be good, eat it! You have to be sensible. Your mother will be around this house all day long for you…\” And if it goes on like this for a long time , because she gave up on self-improvement and became incompatible with her surroundings. Her depression often caused her to lose control of her emotions and have a bad temper. No one would feel happy living in such a family. Having children is important, but if that’s all that’s left of your value as a person, that’s an extremely scary thing. This means gradually giving up on yourself. Gradually, your identity will only remain as \”someone\’s wife\” and \”someone\’s mother\”, and you will gradually forget your own name. Children feel their parents\’ love for them in their parents\’ response, understanding, and rejection, and internalize the relationship model of interaction with their parents into their own internal relationship model. This relationship model affects all their relationships with others! Only when children feel loved as they grow up can they be more empathetic and caring for others, accept and give love, and better connect with others. This is the source of a happy life for children. Parents love their children, and children love their parents, but true love requires ability and methods. When we talk about loving ourselves, the first thing that comes to mind is selfishness. actually not. Only when you take good care of yourself can you present a better state in front of your children, and only then can you have the energy to love your children and your family. Love is a kind of ability and an emotion; love is \”giving\”, self-giving, and does not expect an exchange of equal value. People who can love others need to have strong psychological energy, just like the sun. And a person who has always given to others and always loved others also needs to receive a steady stream of love. But where does this love come from? mothers goThey often place their hopes on their husband and children, but they fail to see that the one person who is more important and reliable to their future is themselves. How can a person who cannot love himself or know how to love others properly love others? There is a sentence in the book \”Fill Your Own Cup First\” that says very well: \”Stop waiting for others to fill your own cup, and stop giving selflessly. If we can fill the cup in front of ourselves first, we will be satisfied with it.\” When you are happy, you will naturally be able to share your overflowing cup of blessings with the people around you, and you can also happily accept what others give you.\” Parents love themselves and live truly happily. When children see such parents, they are actually seeing them. Only when he sees the strength of a role model can he be able to play and learn in his little world with peace of mind. Therefore, it is also a valuable education for parents to be themselves.