Your words can make a child feel inferior for 30 years

A few days ago, a video of a son crying and begging his father not to scold him at the school gate sparked heated discussions among netizens. Zhou Hong\’s Appreciation Education Case Video Original Full Series 6VCD+mp3 was scolded by his father at the school gate. After his classmates heard about it, they laughed at him in the class, which left a shadow in his son\’s heart. This time, his father wanted to send him to school again, but his son refused. During the argument, my son cried anxiously: \”You exposed me in front of my classmates, which made me lose face. If I were at your workplace and told you that you drank until you vomited, would you also feel embarrassed?\” the son asked. The torture of his own soul left Dad speechless for a moment. After watching the video, netizens left messages: \”One time when I was counting down for an exam, my mother took the test paper and showed it to my relatives. The way she laughed made me feel ashamed.\” \”Parents always think that their children are young and don\’t remember anything no matter what they say. In fact, they do it in public Calling me stupid hurts more than hitting me.\” Bi Shumin once said: \”The growth of a child is first to confirm its own existence from the pupils of its parents.\” If even the most trusting parents expose their children\’s shortcomings, the child will They cannot feel respect from their parents’ education. Without respect, all education is equal to zero. What hurts more than beatings and scoldings is the inescapable humiliation. Some time ago, I saw the scene of a mother \”educating\” her daughter, which made me heartbroken. The 6-year-old girl was having a lot of fun at the playground, but her mother kept reminding her that time was running out and asked her to hurry up and play. In order to play longer, the child had to hold in her urine. Before leaving, she accidentally wet a large area of ​​her princess dress. The children around her began to laugh at her. The mother looked at her embarrassed daughter and was so angry that she slapped her across the face and scolded: \”How old are you and you still peed your pants? It\’s so embarrassing. I\’ll make you pay for it here.\” She was originally accused of peed her pants in public. I found that the girl\’s face had turned red, and her mother was beating and yelling again. She was trembling with fright, holding back her tears and not daring to cry. It wasn\’t until everyone tried to dissuade her and the playground stopped offering compensation that my mother calmed down her anger. Finally, the little girl with red eyes from crying rushed out of the playground with her head lowered. Cartoonist Jimmy once said: \”A child would rather be stabbed by a cactus than hear an adult sneer at him in public.\” In full view of the public, children who accidentally make mistakes are already panicked and helpless. If their parents do not comfort them at this time, On the contrary, hitting and humiliating the child will only make the child more ashamed and angry, and even collapse. I once read a piece of news and had mixed feelings in my heart. A little boy made his mother very angry because he was naughty at school and did not take his homework seriously. On the bus home, the mother saw her unsatisfactory son contradicting her and cursed her in anger. She even stripped her son of his clothes in public and threw him in the bus with only his underwear and socks. The little boy was overwhelmed by the jeers of the onlookers and the actions of people taking pictures with their mobile phones. In the end, the driver had no choice but to seek help from the police. Every child gradually develops a sense of self-esteem from the time they have self-awareness. As they grow, they are extremely eager to be recognized and respected by others. But stripping a child naked and showing it to the public is tantamount to being deceived. When children make mistakes, many parents think that public education can help their children remember the lessons and help them grow. But in fact, teaching your children in front of others and letting them make a fool of themselves in public will only bring disaster to the children.It brings shame, anger, and scars that will last a lifetime. A parent\’s attack on a child\’s self-esteem is more painful than hitting and scolding. Children who have not been respected by their parents will not live well in this life. Someone asked on Zhihu: \”What is it like to be insulted by your parents in public when you are a child?\” One highly praised reply poked the weakness of countless netizens: \”A word from parents, It can make me feel inferior for 30 years; even though I have grown up, I still can’t hold my head high.” Netizen Xiaowen was very introverted when he was a child, but his mother was very strong-willed and always liked to use her to earn face when friends and relatives gathered together for dinner. Watching other children showing off their various martial arts skills, Xiaowen often had stage fright, which made her mother very angry. On his 10th birthday, his mother forced Xiaowen to sing on stage under the intimidation of his relatives and friends. Xiaowen, who had no choice but to go on stage, looked at the dark group of people, feeling extremely frightened and confused. He stood on the stage at a loss, which caused a burst of laughter. Mom looked at Xiao Wen who was squirming and scolded her angrily: \”Look at you like that, it\’s embarrassing, what can you do when you grow up?\” Those scenes of being scolded and the ridicule of everyone became a lingering part of Xiao Wen\’s growth. Go to nightmare. After working, Xiao Wenming had good professional skills, but every time when there was an important report, she would be anxious and unable to sleep for several days. In the end, she performed poorly and missed several promotion opportunities. Although he graduated from a key university, Xiaowen lived with low self-esteem and timidity. He did not dare to express his feelings when he met a boy he liked, and he was depressed every day. Parents disregard their children\’s face and crush their children\’s dignity, often leaving their children with a mess full of holes. This kind of damage may permeate a person\’s life. American psychologist James Dobson said: \”There are thousands of ways to make children lose their self-esteem, but rebuilding a child\’s self-esteem is a slow and difficult process.\” A child with collapsed self-esteem can easily go to extremes. I once watched a scene in a TV series where a daughter was insulted by her mother and jumped off a building in public. I couldn\’t calm down for a long time. At the parent-teacher meeting, my mother saw that her daughter, who was in her senior year of high school, had failed in her grades. She kept scolding her in front of the children in the class. \”Your grades are constantly declining, are you worthy of us? With your grades, you are so stupid, and you still have the kindness to go out, you shameless thing…\” The daughter begged her mother to keep her voice down in front of her classmates, but she didn\’t expect her mother to keep talking. The louder it gets. Even though her daughter \”jumped off the building\” to beg her mother to go home, her mother remained indifferent. Finally, the daughter felt so ashamed that she rushed out of the classroom and jumped down, leaving her mother\’s painful wailing behind. I once heard a saying: \”Improper criticism and scolding will destroy children\’s self-defense, make them fall into denial and doubt, and thus lose the value of life.\” When a child is bent over by his parents\’ words, he loses his dignity. , and no longer had the courage to raise his head. Every child with damaged self-esteem will find it difficult to live a good life. Don\’t let your ignorance ruin your child\’s happiness in life. Good parents know how to protect their children\’s self-esteem. Educator Chen Zihong once said: \”Adults always take it for granted that children do not yet have the cognitive ability to feel shame, so they will not feel ashamed.\” In fact, every child I have had a sense of shame since I was a child. The writer San Mao once told the story of stealing money when she was a child. Because she wanted to buy snacks, she secretly took 5 yuan from home.After stealing the money, she was worried that she would be discovered, and she was restless all day long. Later, she couldn\’t bear the torture, so she returned the money. Sanmao\’s behavior had long been seen through by her father, but instead of exposing her face to face, his father gave her some pocket money and bought her a box of candies. When Sanmao recalled this past event, he felt not only ashamed, but also grateful. Every child will make mistakes. Rather than beating and scolding children to force their memory to grow, it is better to be more patient and give children some time to grow up. Children will learn to reflect on themselves under the care and guidance of their parents. The starting point of all education begins with parents taking good care of their children\’s most cherished self-esteem. The \”protector\” in front of people is the protagonist Yu Huanshui in the most tender TV series \”I am Yu Huanshui\”. Because his son Yu Chen got into a fight, the teacher called him to school to lecture him. In front of Yu Huanshui, the teacher kept blaming Yu Chen without asking the reason. However, Yu Huanshui chose to trust his son and did not scold him in public. Instead, he encouraged the child to tell the reason. In the end, he found that the child moved his hands because of an injustice. Dad\’s \”protection\” gave Yu Chen great courage and made him dare to admit his mistakes. Protect your child\’s self-esteem and give your child more face. Your child will become stronger because of your respect. It is the minimum respect not to add salt to the child\’s \”embarrassing things\”. Many times, after the child makes a mistake, he already feels very ashamed. At this time, the parents scold him again and again, which is undoubtedly adding salt to the child\’s wound. Wise parents will first calm their children\’s emotions and then guide them to find the reason for their mistakes. On Douyin, I saw a video of a conversation between a father and his four-year-old daughter, which was very heartwarming. After school, my daughter carried a bag of wet clothes, walked up to her father with her head lowered, and said sheepishly: \”Dad, I peed my pants today.\” Unexpectedly, the father did not scold him, but instead said with a smile: \”Then what are you drawing on your pants today?\” Pattern?\” The daughter was immediately amused and said, \”Maybe what I drew today is a bunny.\” The father then said, \”If it rains, the baby should stop drawing on the pants, otherwise it will be difficult to do it.\” The daughter giggled. He kept laughing and thought of several ways to avoid peeing his pants: Don\’t hold it in when going to the toilet, drink less water before playing games… After hearing this, the father gave his daughter a big thumbs up. What was originally an unpleasant incident was easily resolved with dad\’s humor. I once heard a saying: \”When children make mistakes, protect their self-esteem first, and punish and educate them later.\” The best way to love your children is to give them enough \”face\” so that they can have a positive and optimistic attitude throughout their lives. Children\’s minds are sensitive and fragile, and parents\’ words and deeds, intentionally or unintentionally, are always affecting their children\’s physical and mental development. Adults care about face, and so do children. No matter how young the child is, please save some face for him. Only a child whose self-esteem is taken care of can live with confidence; only a confident child has the strength and courage to face the storms of the future alone. Good parents have a zipper around their mouths. The most complete text of the Disciple Rules in history is read aloud in the children\’s version mp3 download. Controlling your own mouth and not exposing your children\’s shortcomings is the greatest accomplishment as a parent.