How to educate adolescent children? Defeating him once is enough to destroy him

I was deeply hurt by the cry of a boy. In a boy\’s room, the room was in a mess, and the floor was covered with the remains of broken models. The boy was sobbing while filming the video. Duel? Don’t compete with adolescent children. High-definition scan and PDF download. In the cries, it was the time, energy, hard work and enthusiasm that a boy had devoted to it, and now they are all broken to pieces. Because the boy and his father had a quarrel, the drunk father picked up a model and smashed it on the ground. When the boy saw his beloved model being smashed, he angrily contradicted his father. Unexpectedly, the furious father smashed all the models on the child\’s shelf. The next day, he told the boy that if he continued to contradict him like this in the future, he would destroy everything the boy loved. Perhaps it is because adolescent boys are aggressive with their father in terms of words and behaviors; or perhaps the father thinks that the boy will become bored by playing with things, thus delaying his studies. No matter what the possibility may be, the father\’s atrocities destroyed not only the boy\’s whole-hearted love, but also the comfort of an adolescent boy\’s inner world and his birthright as a human being – to be respected and accepted. Psychologist Xu Tiansheng once said: All \”problems\” are rooted in the fact that parents use control instead of respect, use orders instead of inspiration, use doubt instead of trust, leaving children with no way out in life and no love. Especially today\’s children, they have already stepped on the threshold of adolescence at the age of 9. They have a heightened sense of self and are highly impulsive. They desire independence, freedom, and even more respect. Once parents ignore or even belittle their children\’s inner demands, it is easy to arouse their resistance. If parents use more violent behaviors to try to control and frighten their children, then this kind of education is actually a war of rights. Parents use their superior authority to think that they have won over their children, but in the end, they may lose very humbly. Just like the writer Li Zhongying said: Every child will have a war with his parents when he grows up. If the child wins, it is a comedy; if the parents win, it is a tragedy. In the American TV series \”Fuck the World\”, there is a scene that makes people feel deeply powerless and suffocating. The heroine Bonnie in the story is a girl in adolescence. I don’t know since when, Bonnie began to pay attention to her own image, began to love beauty, and began to dress herself up deliberately. Once, she stole a lipstick from somewhere and quietly put on makeup in front of the mirror. Unfortunately, this scene was discovered by my mother. Recommended scientific parenting books. I really wish my parents had read this book. Download the electronic version. My mother thought that her daughter did not put her mind and energy into studying at all, and said to her daughter in humiliating and cold language: \”You know what kind of woman wears lipstick?\” Are you a prostitute? Only prostitutes wear makeup and lipstick.\” What\’s even more frightening is that in order to punish her daughter, she forced her daughter to eat all the lipstick and chew it slowly. Facing her cold and forceful mother, Bonnie swallowed her lipstick in pain and chewed up her own life. She started not to study hard and was expelled from school for treating her classmates rudely; she threw herself into the arms of the scumbag and took off her clothes easily; she saw the scumbag hooking up with other girlsAt that time, she hit the girl with a car and killed her… In this way, she used an extreme way to ruin the beginning of her life, and with a revengeful mentality, she finally lived the way her mother said she would. Susan Forward once said: \”The harm caused by parents to their children is not limited to the moment. It runs through the years and pierces the hearts of their children like a needle.\” In adolescent children, sexual awareness begins to sprout and they begin to pay attention to Dressing up and focusing on self-image are a true reflection of a child\’s inner desire to become an adult. At this stage, some parents will use belittling, attacking or even humiliating language to try to suppress their children\’s normal psychological needs in order to encourage their children to study hard. Little do they know that these hurtful reverse incentives will not only crush the child\’s self-confidence and destroy the child\’s sense of value in self-growth; this deep sense of humiliation will also cause the child to lose expectations for his parents and life. In the eyes of parents, they only see a child who is maddening and tired, but they cannot see the demands of the hurt, intimidated, and humiliated child behind the scenes. This is like a butterfly effect. Maybe your words can make a qualitative change in the life of a child who is sensitive and confused in adolescence. Writer Liu Xiaonian once wrote a story. The father in the story had a big quarrel with his son because his freshman son was obsessed with online games, causing his grades to plummet. In order to avoid the escalation of the war, my father moved to his parents\’ house for a few days. When the old man knew the cause and effect of the incident, instead of scolding his son, he started drinking wine with him. While drinking, he said: \”You were like this when you were a kid. I asked you to study hard, but you talked back and said which of my eyes could see that you weren\’t studying. I asked you to cut your hair shorter, but you sprayed your mother\’s hairspray on it to make your hair stick to the roots. The teacher came to complain if you didn’t finish your homework, but you made a lot of excuses and said that you hated the teacher and would sleep in her class from now on… In the second year of high school, you and I had a fight and ran away from home. As a result, you went to the game arcade that night to play. I waited outside for three days and three nights. It wasn’t until you ran out of money and owed the game arcade boss a slap in the face that he let you go. Dad saw this and it hurt. In my heart. After you came home, your mother and I didn\’t say anything. We just cooked a table full of food. I know that at an age when your self-esteem was soaring, even if you had a stomach, you had to swallow it. Since then , you suddenly changed. Starting from the second half of the second semester of high school, you studied hard and successfully counterattacked and became a \’dark horse in the college entrance examination.\’\” When the old man said this, his face glowed red, and he said seriously: \”This is my father. There are only two words for my son, one is love and the other is endurance. No matter whether the son is cute or not, the more he is not cute, the more he must love unswervingly, without asking for anything in return, and silently. Grow in love Older children, even if they are outrageous, will become more reliable sooner or later.\” These words of the old man made the father feel guilty and full of warmth, and he also had a direction for his son\’s education. Jane Nelson, the author of \”Positive Discipline\” said: \”Starting when children are about ten years old, the best way for parents to win over their children is to stand with them first with a kind, firm and respectful attitude.\” Let the children be understood beforeFrom the support, we gain a sense of pride and belonging. Adolescent children are a painful process of emerging from cocoons and becoming butterflies. Parents\’ show of weakness, respect, patience and understanding are the strength for children to flap their arms and wings. When you give up control and authority over your children, you can gain more control; when you don\’t force your children to obey, your children will start to listen to you. Emotionally calm, kindhearted, loving their children unconditionally, and respecting their children\’s parents are the best way out for children in the confused period of youth, and are also the key to a harmonious parent-child relationship. \”Those who love to go out love to return\” is the best interpretation of education. What should I do if my children don’t take the initiative to learn? How to make children fall in love with learning and efficient accompanying classes completed mp3 Education blogger Wang Renping said: To win the respect and followers of children by accepting, respecting and trusting them, or by relying on authority, humiliation, or even violence to win and let children Surrender and obey? Parents\’ different beliefs, values ​​and education methods will build different parent-child relationships and raise completely different children. In the eyes of their parents, adolescent children may have immature ideas, inaccurate views, and inappropriate actions; but these are children with self-awareness who are exploring the world in their own way. As a parent, you should stand with your children and become their most trusted guardian, rather than working with problems and defeating them. Finally, I would like to dedicate this moving sentence on the Internet to all the parents who are struggling with their adolescent children: \”I love you. If there is a road ahead that I have fallen beyond recognition, but you insist on going. I hope I love you.\” The method is not to hold you back and tell you that you can\’t go. But to prepare the most durable shoes for you and prepare an umbrella. Tell you that the second intersection is slippery and there are thieves on the fifth street. Go ahead and you will be safe at home. Rice.\” The most effective complete set of video courses on parent-child communication and coordination skills is the wisest education for children: win over the child, not win over the child.