How to make the parent-child relationship more effective?

An essay by a primary school student was circulated on the Internet, entitled \”My mother is a useless middle-aged woman.\” The child\’s honest words are heartbreaking: My mother doesn\’t go to work. She usually likes to play cards and watch stupid TV series. She scolds her while watching, and sometimes she also cries. She couldn\’t do anything well, the food she cooked was terrible, the house was a mess, and everything was unclean. She obviously can\’t do anything well, but she doesn\’t play all day long, and she still complains about being tired every day, saying it\’s all because of me, and she\’s almost exhausted. Among the classmates I play with, Xiaoqing’s mother can drive, but she can’t; Xiaolin’s mother can play table tennis with Xiaolin, but she can’t; Xiaoyu’s mother can draw; Yaoyao’s mother can make clothes that are good She\’s so pretty… I\’m so envious of her, but she can\’t do anything. I think my mother is a useless middle-aged woman. The child was injured, but I had no idea. To be honest, as a mother of a fifth-grade primary school child, I confidently read this letter to my child. Without comparison, there would be no harm. I intended to make him a blessing. Cherish blessings. Who knows, it hurts my heart. After listening to this essay written by a peer, the child said quietly: \”Every time you criticize me, I just need to defend you, and you can tell me all the past things, and you will never tire of it. I am also hurt.\” Yes.\” After saying that, his expression looked hurt. It can be seen that this model has always been a flaw in our good parent-child relationship. I didn\’t realize this before he said it, but after he said it, I felt a little aggrieved. Until one night, I asked him to wash his face, brush his teeth and go to bed. He said \”right away\”, but five minutes later, he still couldn\’t bear to put down the book in his hand and had no intention of taking action. I was furious: \”How long is your horse?\” \”Isn\’t it coming?\” His tone was obviously conflicting. I bounced back: \”What I understand is right here right now. Think about it from your perspective, if it was something I promised you, and I promised to fulfill it immediately, but I didn\’t take action, how would you react? Last time Because the toy I bought for you arrived one day late, how are you nagging you? You can\’t have one set of standards for others and another for yourself…\” Especially when I saw the impatient expression on his face, I became even more angry. Da, chased him all the way to the bathroom, still denounced, his voice getting louder and louder. Then, I remembered what he said when I read him this peer essay that day, and I decisively stopped talking. Thinking about the way you chased and scolded him, were you preaching or venting your anger? Obviously, the latter has more ingredients. Guilty! As compensation, I allowed him to go to bed ten minutes late at night, read him two articles, and when I said \”good night\”, I gently said to him: \”I apologize to you for my behavior just now. Next time If I keep chattering, you can stop me or criticize me.\” The baby\’s eyes were red and he hugged my neck: \”Mom, good night, I love you.\” I was so afraid that he would hold grudges and destroy the little world in his heart. If you close yourself to me, you will be rejected. After raising them for a lifetime, but losing them just for a moment, I gave my son a task and asked him to conduct an interview with 37 children in the class. The theme was: \”Where are they?\”In one moment, you deeply disliked your parents? \”At the same time, I also asked the same questions among the 10 to 15-year-old children around me. The answers collected were very colorful, but every sentence was heartbreaking. Xiaoyi (11 years old): My mother asked me in front of me In front of me, I checked my father’s mobile phone, peeked at it without saying a word, and then arrogantly quarreled with my father. (What the child said in his heart: At that moment, I saw her lack of confidence and lack of sunshine. But she spent the whole day Teach me to be sunny and confident.) Xiaoxiao (11 years old): When I went to the park, my mother bought a child ticket for me who was already 1.45 meters tall, and said to me: When the ticket is checked later, bend down. (The child’s heart Words: I got beaten a lot for lying, but she was so dishonest in her own dealings with others.) Xiaojia: (13 years old): When my father was on the phone with his customers, he was full of good words and sentences, but his driver just I arrived five minutes late and he cursed me with unpleasant words. Sitting in the car, I didn’t dare to look at the driver’s uncle’s face. I really wanted to cry! (What the child said in his heart: My father often told me that I should be polite and tolerant, but… How did he do it himself?) Xiao Tong (15 years old): Grandma gives me 500 yuan as new year\’s money every year, but since I was sensible, my mother asked me to tell my grandma: Grandma will give me two thousand. Then, grandma gives me 2,000 yuan every year. My 2,000 yuan New Year\’s money. (What the child said in his heart: This year, I refused. I told my mother: If you ask me to say 2,000 yuan again, I will tell my grandma everything that happened in the past few years. My mother asked me I will never forget the fact that I became a liar, and I lied to my own grandmother.) Xiao Di (14 years old): My mother looked for coins in her bag and found nine jiao. Then when she took the bus, she threw it in Go in. After sitting down, he said to me: Isn’t your mother very witty! (I replied in my heart: Your dignity is worth a dime.) Xiaowen (12 years old): My dad came home drunk and took it from his bag He paid 200 yuan and said to my mother: Come and sing \”Lovesickness in the Storm\” with me… (What the child said in his heart: From now on, when he criticizes me again, I have never accepted him. His own moral character has What qualifications do you have to educate me?) Serena (13 years old): My mother is usually unkempt. When she came to the parent-teacher meeting for the first time, her hair was shiny and she was dressed like she was correcting a wrong question. …Details from life Invincible, 50 children, 50 heart-breaking moments. During the conversations with these children, I was really surprised by what they said in their hearts. The children\’s eyes are sharp, and their hearts are like mirrors. When they 360 When parents are being photographed without blind spots, parents are also in their panoramic scan, which is more accurate, more detailed, and more sensitive. It may take a lifetime to raise them, but losing them is sometimes a small thing. When parents are because of their children\’s words and deeds, When we take advantage of our misdeeds and even use fists and kicks, we also ignore one thing: when our words and deeds are inconsistent, they do not have the ability to impose verbal and physical violence on us, but they silently carry out another kind of punishment. ——Silent contempt. The real loss does not start when they go to college and form their own small family, but from the moment when the children feel disappointed with their parents. From then on, they are alienated from morality, the door of their heart is locked,Say goodbye without saying goodbye. Senior Nanny Training Video – Complete Set of Baby Touching Videos 4.9G \”A child never thinks his mother is ugly\” Wake up, adults are all lying to themselves! Among the interviews with 50 children, the story of Xiaowen (pseudonym) was the most heart-wrenching. He has a \”deceptive\” father. The so-called cheating means that children are never cared for at ordinary times, but occasionally they are cared for on a whim, and mostly they are criticized in a torrent of ways. Wen\’s father is the vice president of a foreign company. He is usually very busy at work and has no sleep. Xiao Wen\’s daily life is taken care of full-time by his mother. Occasionally, Wen’s father would find numerous mistakes in his child when he had time to spend time with Xiao Wen. The way he eats, his unsatisfactory grades, his cowardly character… In short, he starts with criticism, and as he talks, he starts to get angry. Then, he successfully transferred his anger to Xiaowen\’s mother. \”You don\’t have to work, but you can\’t even raise a child?\” \”Trash! The money I give you a month, even if I spend money to hire people, my education will be more successful than yours!\” \”I really can\’t understand your words. You have ruined all the good-behaved children!\”… At first, Xiaowen still sympathized with his mother who was belittled by his father, but as time went by, every time he was criticized by his father in a \”deceitful manner\”, Xiaowen would also Take it out on mom. The most devastating time was when his mother was ten minutes late picking him up from school. After Xiaowen got in the car, he kept scolding his mother: \”You don\’t have to go to work, so will you be late picking me up?\” \”What else do you think you can do?\” \”My dad is absolutely right, you are a waste.\” \”My dad gives you so much money every month, but if you can\’t dress yourself decently, drive a Mercedes-Benz and wait at the school gate every day, your classmates will think you are It’s our nanny…” Xiaowen’s words made her mother sad. She shed tears first, and then cried loudly, but Xiaowen seemed not to let her go, and still expressed her dissatisfaction in humiliating language. Finally, Xiaowen\’s mother knocked the steering wheel to death and rushed in the opposite direction. First, it collided with a taxi, then knocked down a pedestrian, and finally the car hit a wall and stopped. Although Xiaowen and his mother were only slightly injured, after this incident, Xiaowen began to have serious psychological problems and had to drop out of school and be hospitalized for treatment. Wen\’s mother was also receiving counseling from a psychiatrist. There is one thing she insists on, that is, after she recovers, she must go out to work! Even if she works as a cleaner, she must have a job that can support herself, instead of being a parasitic \”trash\” that her husband and children can take out on her anytime and anywhere. \”The son does not think the mother is ugly\” are all lies. A dependent woman, no matter how much she gives, will only get disdain from her husband and children. There are also fickle things in family relationships. Only by becoming the best version of yourself and living out your own values ​​can you become a mother who at least will not be disliked by her children. This was Wen’s mother’s most painful realization. Just as the husband despises his wife, the children will despise their mother! Parents all over the world, it’s time to delete the phrase “a son never thinks his mother is ugly” from your mind. In fact, more often than not, \”Mother does not think her son is ugly\” is the truth of life. Since when do parents lose the respect of their children? Many parents don’t understand why theyLose your child\’s respect overnight? The intimacy period of childhood has not yet ended, and my beloved child has entered the rebellious \”adolescence\” without stopping. And in the conversation with these 50 children, I discovered that nothing can produce love overnight, and over time, it can be seen in people\’s hearts, and it can also produce disgust. A small misbehavior of a parent can be an earthquake-like disillusionment for a child. They are unreasonable perfectionists when it comes to treating their parents. The phlegm that their parents spit everywhere, the rudeness with which they treat others, the messy outfits they wear, etc., will easily make them label themselves as \”uneducated\”. From then on, I rebelled against the high standards and strict requirements set by my parents – you have not achieved it yourself, why should you ask me! The respect lost is like water thrown away. How to Stimulate Students\’ Interest and Motivation in Learning Full Video Download Once parents are dishonest and immoral in the eyes of their children, it not only means the loss of prestige and the beginning of rebellion, but also means the second growth of children after losing their role models. A kind of child will resample in life, such as looking for realistic role models and spiritual sustenance among books, teachers, classmates, and star chasers. Another kind of children, after the collapse of their idols, break out and become imitators of their parents\’ bad words and deeds, and they imitate every instance. For example, Xiaowen mentioned above, after his father violently assaulted his mother, because the female class monitor confiscated the toys he brought to school, he became so angry that he punched the little girl to the ground! Then he strangled the other person\’s neck with both hands, and even the head teacher who arrived was deeply frightened: \”I have never seen a child who is so cruel!\” Parents who are inconsistent with their appearance will be divided between words and deeds. Children, how the adults live, the children will grow up. One handsome man covers all the ugly ones! A Shortcut to Being a Parent We are born as human beings. If any of us has no shortcomings, wouldn’t we all be nakedly disliked by our children? But in fact, it\’s not. Among the 50 children interviewed, there are also \”parents who are die-hard fans.\” To sum up, if you want \”children not to think their mothers are ugly\”, you need parents to be able to \”cover up all ugliness with one beauty.\” 11-year-old Conan: I My dad took me to ride the Sichuan-Tibet Line, which was awesome! 11-year-old Hao Qianqian: My mother is the best teacher in the world, and her students call her boss. 14-year-old Lin Xiaole: My grandma was seriously ill. My mother gave all the family’s savings to my father. If it was not enough, she would think of something else. Dad shed tears at that time, and I cried too. At that time, I felt that my mother was so generous and loving. Then, I gave my piggy bank to my father. Then, the three of us cried and felt so happy. 15-year-old Jiang Zhuang: Every time my mother appears at a parent-teacher meeting, the eyes of all the children in my class light up. As my dad said, your mom is not the most beautiful woman in the world, but she is the one who lives the most exquisite life. When I grow up, I want to marry a girl who lives a delicate life like my mother. 14-year-old Quyi: My mother is a good writer of beautiful articles. As a result, I inherited her talent. Her compositions are always read as examples by teachers. I am proud of having such a mother. 12-year-old Lin Lexue: My grades have never been good, but every time my mother says: Just try your best. But my deskmate didn’tI was so lucky. Every time I failed in the exam, I would come to school the next day with bruises on my arms. 13-year-old Li Shengnan: Every Saturday, my father takes me to play table tennis. His smash action is so cool! ……look! Losing them only takes a moment – one inappropriate word or deed can quietly end a parent-child relationship. And it doesn\’t seem that difficult to win them over – with just one obvious advantage, you can successfully attract fans and make them your lifelong fans. Being blacklisted or idolized is just a matter of a thought. The difficulty is that we think that as parents, we have the inherent right to dictate to them. But they believe that when we are born as human beings, there is only the right and wrong of things and the difference between good and bad people. There is no distinction between big and small. The difficulty is that we want to be superior parents, but they use us as role models to look down upon. Having them is the natural evaporation of personality charm; [Must-see for parents] Zeng Shiqiang’s Comprehensive Parent-child Relationship Skills, 24 episodes 1.2G. Losing them is not the end of the parent-child relationship, but the door of their hearts that we are not allowed to enter.