Why has your child suddenly become silent?

I don’t know since when, my son and I have almost zero communication. And the few exchanges we had, they always broke up after less than three sentences. I really want to have a good chat with him. 36 Tips for Parents to Communicate with Their Children HD PDF I just came home two days ago, and my son was alone in the living room watching a movie, so I sat next to him and said to him calmly: \”Son! Let\’s chat with mom for a while. \”My son glanced at me, then stared at the TV screen again, ignoring me. The way he didn\’t take me seriously made me feel suffocated. \”Why are you like this? Mom wants to chat with you for a while. Do you disrespect her by acting like this?\” I said reproaching him as if begging. After hearing my words, my son turned his head, stared at me with fierce eyes, and asked me through gritted teeth: \”You don\’t listen when I speak, and you think I\’m wrong when I don\’t speak. What do you want from me?\” The look in his eyes made me feel that when he looked at me, he seemed to be looking at his enemy. At that moment, my mind was confused and then buzzed. At night, I tossed and turned and couldn\’t sleep. Every bit of time spent with his son, even things that happened a long time ago, became extremely clear in his mind. I seem to always like to throw cold water on my children when they happily share stories with me. I remember that when my son was 7 years old, he liked a Transformers toy. The toys were relatively crudely made and only cost a few yuan, but I never bought them for him. Then one day, when he came back from school, he suddenly took out the Transformers toy from his schoolbag and shared it with me: \”Mom, look, isn\’t this Transformers very majestic?\” I was stunned for a moment and found that this toy was exactly what he had been doing. The one I wanted, so I asked him loudly: \”Where did you get the money?\” \”Did you steal mom\’s money to buy it?\” My son was a little scared of my sudden questioning. He hurriedly explained to me that he bought it with his own pocket money. But I was still reluctant and kept asking, \”You have so much money that you have nowhere to spend it, right? What\’s the point of buying so many toys all day long?\” At that time, I didn\’t notice the sparkle in my son\’s eyes. Become dim and dull. I talked about him for a long time. He stood awkwardly in front of me, like a sinner, with his head hanging down and said \”I\’m sorry\” to me. Then I waved my hand and forgave him \”magnanimously\”. I seem to always like to suppress and deny children when they ask for praise. In a final exam in fifth grade, he scored 92 points in mathematics. His usual scores always hover around 80 points, and being able to score 92 points is undoubtedly a great improvement. So he happily told me as soon as school was over that he scored 92 points, and he happily told me how the teacher praised him. But I interrupted the child rudely and told him: \”When I was in fifth grade, I never got a score as bad as 92 points.\” Along the way, I kept talking about how good my test scores were before. The other children all scored 100 points in the exam and did not notice that my son was unusually quiet. Finally one time, my son came back with a report card that ranked first in the class. As soon as he entered the house, he waved the report card and was very happy.Liedi shouted loudly: \”Mom, I finally got the first place this time! Look!\” At that time, my heart was actually full of joy. The child looked at me with bright eyes, eager to hear a compliment from me. But what did I do? I took his report card, took a look at it, and the first thing I said was: \”I only got first place once, what\’s there to show off?\” \”Do you think you\’ve made progress? Maybe it\’s because someone else failed in the test. The first place only falls to you.\” The conversation ended with the son\’s frustrated repeated assurance that he would get 100 points next time. Looking back now, I seem to always attribute his successes to good luck and his failures to not doing a good enough job. I always pour cold water on my child when he makes progress, and spare no effort to suppress and deny him. At that time, I thought that I was doing this for his own good, so that he would not be proud of a small achievement, and I also hoped that this could motivate my son in disguise. Looking back now, I was probably just a mallet at that time, useless except for breaking my son\’s heart. It seems to me that I have never really listened to my children, I only let them learn. When he entered junior high school, he became more and more like a boring gourd and rarely took the initiative to talk to me. But sometimes he can’t help but share with me some of his interesting moments in school. One day while eating, he seemed to remember something and laughed out loud. I asked him: Download the complete set of educational cartoon Happy Baby: Fantasy Journey cartoon \”What do you think of? You are laughing so happily.\” My son swallowed the rice and told me with excitement: \”Mom, let me tell you, today we A very funny thing happened in the class.\” He said that there was a boy in their class named Da Zhuang, because he was very strong and very greedy. In an open class, the teacher was giving a lecture in front of the podium. Da Zhuang couldn\’t help it and secretly grabbed a piece of wafer from the drawer and stuffed it into his mouth. As luck would have it, the teacher called on Da Zhuang to answer the question. Da Zhuang could only stand up bravely. As soon as he opened his mouth, the biscuit crumbs in his mouth sprayed on the head of the classmate in front of him… Before my son finished speaking, I couldn\’t help but frown and warned him: \”You will Don\’t hang out with these troublesome classmates, junior high school still has to focus on study.\” He said \”oh\” and stopped laughing, but immersed himself in eating without saying a word. Since then, my son has become even more silent when he is at home. It seems that I never listen to my child\’s opinions and only use my identity as a mother to suppress him. The last time I had a \”you come and go\” exchange with my son was in my third year of junior high school. At that time, my son\’s favorite high school was a school with relatively loose discipline, good teachers, and rich after-school life. He liked it very much. And I think high school students should study honestly, so the stricter the management of the high school, the better. At that time, my son kept trying to convince me. But I had a very tough attitude and interrupted him: \”Where do you come from so much talk? Mom has asked me all about it for you, just do it for me.\” If my son still wants to say something, I will always type impatiently. Duan: \”I am your mother, you have to listen to me!\” \”I have eaten more salt than you have ever eaten rice.\” My son had nothing to say, and I was still complacent and feltI must have won this game. Now that I think about it, what if I win an argument and get the say? I personally cut off the way into the child\’s heart. In this way, I force my children to obey orders, like a terrifying tyrant. All along, I only paid attention to whether he did well, but never cared about what he wanted, nor did I ask what he had done for these results, or whether he was tired. There are still many, many memories that make me want to take a time machine back to wake myself up. Some people say: \”A 4-year-old child is chattering, and a 14-year-old child becomes mute.\” Because when a child is 4 years old, he always seems to have endless things to say and a hundred thousand reasons why. For example, if you see a stray dog ​​on the road, he will ask you: Recommended scientific parenting books. I really wish my parents had read this book. Download the electronic version. \”Mom, that puppy looks so pitiful! Can it find a home?\” Did his owner not want it?\” For example, if something interesting happened at school, he couldn\’t wait to tell you as soon as school was over: \”During the art class today, Dongdong accidentally got paint on his chin. It looked like What a little old man!\” But you responded casually at the beginning, then responded perfunctorily, and finally scolded impatiently. The topic of conversation with children is not only study, but also study. Finally, the child became quieter and quieter. We went from having \”clear ears\” at the beginning to not getting used to it, and then complained that our children were becoming more and more difficult to teach, like mutes, and answered nine of the ten questions. But they ignored it from beginning to end. It was their parents who took away their desire to communicate. In fact, the last thing we should do is to block the children\’s mouths with our arrogance. Because once the children are quiet, their hearts are blocked from us. If I could do it all over again, when my child makes progress, I would praise him \”You are awesome.\” When my child shares something that makes him happy with me, I must listen to him and be a supportive mother. When my child wants to do something, I will no longer forcefully decide for him, but analyze the pros and cons with him and give him the right to choose… But now, I can only secretly regret it. I hope my experience can remind all parents: every response we give our children today determines the relationship between our children and us in the future. Don\’t wait until the child has nothing to say to us before asking why, and then regret it later.