Yu Minhong uses three tips to teach you how to make your children fall in love with learning?

The reason why I can talk about my experience in family education here is indeed because I have come into contact with too many children. From my time teaching at Peking University to later founding New Oriental, there are now more than 7 million students who have come out of New Oriental. I have seen many happy students and many delayed students; I have seen many parents who feel extremely happy because of their children\’s success, and I have also seen many parents who are miserable because of their children\’s failure. I have seen many poor families finally live happily because their children have a promising future; I have also seen many billionaire families whose parents even suffer from schizophrenia because of their children\’s problems. Many parents told me, Teacher Yu, I will donate all my money to you, as long as you can turn my children into normal and happy children. I often tell them that it is too late for you to say this now, because children are basically shaped from birth to the age of 18, and everything must be done before the age of 18. There is an old saying in China: What should we do if our children do not take the initiative to learn? How to make children fall in love with learning and efficient accompanying class. Completion mp. 33-year-old looks older and 7-year-old looks older. Chinese society is now in a period of huge transformation, from an agricultural society to a commercial society. However, China\’s current understanding of business ethics and business ethics itself is incomplete. Many small businesses are caught in such a panic. How should we educate our children in such a panic? For example: we educate our children to be sincere, but after they are sincere, they are bullied by others outside; we educate our children to be kind, but we find that kind children are not recognized by society. We will reflect on whether we should teach our children to be more opportunistic and whether we should teach our children to be more aggressive. Some of the things we adults do sometimes unknowingly show bad things to our children, which have a major impact on the formation of their own values, worldview, and outlook on life. Therefore, there is something wrong with the way we educate our children. The top priority of family education – character education. Today, China has entered a very complicated era for family education. There are standards in society and there are standards in families. Moreover, these standards may be wrong standards. For example, our standard requires children to be among the top five in the class. As long as the children can get into Peking University and Tsinghua University, they will be considered successful. If they go to Harvard and Yale, they will be even more successful. Although this is a standard, in my opinion, it is the wrong standard. Why is it wrong? Because it eventually became the only standard for the family. There are many standards for children\’s growth, such as: whether the character is noble is one standard; whether the personality is healthy is one standard; whether one is creative and imaginative in doing things is one standard; whether one has the spirit of hardship and diligence is one standard ; Whether you have the spirit to dare to get up after falling to the ground is also a criterion. China\’s current society limits success to a very narrow range. For children, high scores and good grades are the standard; children who can play the piano at the age of five or six will be rewarded. In our adult world in China, we never use the number of true friends a person has as a criterion for success. The criterion in our adult world is that the person has money and status., there is wealth. I myself have fallen deeply into such pain. The first thing many people said to me after seeing me was: \”Teacher Yu, you have now entered the list of China\’s richest people!\” No one would say: \”Yu Teacher, you have a good character.\” The second sentence is: \”As the head of New Oriental, New Oriental is very profitable.\” If New Oriental goes bankrupt one day and I don\’t have a penny, some people still think that I am A winner? If I become a penniless person and have to rely on my own strength to make money, someone will come over and tell me: \”Teacher Yu, you are really an amazing person.\” That\’s when I feel that this person is my real person. friends who truly recognized my success. I personally consider myself a successful person, not because I have New Oriental or I have made money, but because I have a basic principle of being a human being. I always think that I am a kind person, and I am a person who has no evil thoughts in my heart. Ever since I was a child, I have never done anything to hurt others. Of course, sometimes it is possible to accidentally say something that hurts others. If I blurt out some words, others will feel uncomfortable. I can apologize to them, but I have definitely not done anything harmful. I think the second reason for my success is that I am very willing to help others. In fact, no matter what position a person is in, he can help others. Now I have the conditions to donate 3 million yuan to the earthquake-stricken areas in Gansu and build a New Oriental Hope Primary School in Gannan. I am happy to help them. You can also help others when we have nothing. Everyone thinks that doing things requires talent, but there is another way. I gave a simple example: I have loved labor since I was a child. I did farm work and housework. When I was 14 years old, I was awarded I became the rice transplanting champion in our county; when I was 17 years old, I was an excellent tractor driver in the county. My parents’ hard work inspired my hard work. My grades have always been good or bad, and the teacher doesn\’t care about me at all. But I wanted to attract the attention of teachers and classmates, so I have been cleaning classrooms since the first grade of elementary school. After I arrived at Peking University, I developed a habit of cleaning the dormitory every day. I did this cleaning for four years. Therefore, our dormitory has never arranged a sanitation duty schedule. In addition, I carry the water bottle in the dormitory to fetch water for my classmates every day, treating it as a kind of physical exercise. Everyone saw that I was used to fetching water. In the end, there was a situation where sometimes I forgot to fetch water, and my classmates said, \”Why didn\’t Yu Minhong go fetch water?\” But I didn\’t think fetching water was such a big deal. It is a matter of suffering because we are all classmates and it is natural to help each other. Some people say I\’m stupid, and some people ask me what\’s the benefit of fetching water like this. I believe there will be benefits. If you do a good deed, the reward may appear this year, or it may appear 10 years later. If you do a good deed and ask for reward on the same day, you must be a snobbery and a narrow-minded person. If you don’t ask for anything in return, it will come. When you are in trouble and people around you think you are a good person, can they not reach out to help you? Of course, I fetch waterI didn\’t expect that they would come to help me when I was in trouble. But 10 years later, in 1995, New Oriental had reached a certain scale. I wanted to find collaborators, so I went to the United States and Canada to find my classmates. Then, in order to lure them back, I specially exchanged a lot of US dollars and spent them generously in the United States every day. I wanted them to know that they can also make money in China. I think this will probably make them come back. Later they came back, but gave me a very unexpected reason. They said: \”Yu Minhong, we came back because you have cleared the land and fetched water for us for four years.\” They said, \”We know that you have such a spirit, so you will definitely have food to eat.\” They won’t give us porridge.” The joining of these people laid the foundation for New Oriental’s development, and New Oriental will continue to grow bigger, become a listed company in the United States, and achieve today’s scale. From my experience, I want to tell parents that if your child is not well educated and causes trouble outside, when others criticize your child, they will say: \”This child is not well educated!\” They will not say that the teacher is not teaching well, and New Oriental Foreign Language is not good. If you teach well, if your uncles and aunts don\’t teach you well, people will say: \”Like father, like son, like mother, like daughter!\” If your child has no future, the problem must be family education. If a child has problems when he grows up, it must be the root cause planted by his parents. The success of a child is closely related to whether the parent\’s family education of the child is correct. What we teach children is character and morality. Whether we educate children well in character and morality is the key to their success throughout their lives. As long as he is a respected figure, his life will be particularly smooth. Parents, you can think about it, do you want to be a popular person, or someone who is guarded against everywhere? Many parents are invisibly teaching their children to be petty, to take advantage, and to teach their children how to find ways to surpass others and step on others. Underfoot, the end result is that the child does not understand how to survive in this world. What you give your children determines what kind of person they will be in the future. My daughter\’s academic level is now at the average level, but I never use this as a criterion for whether my daughter should work hard. My wife and I have opposite educational philosophies. My wife will be angry if her daughter does not rank in the top 5, but I am just the opposite. I am very happy that my daughter ranks 15th. I always say to my daughter: \”Look at your class of 40 classmates, you are 15th, and there are still more after you.\” There are 25 people, how awesome you are!\” From the perspective of a child\’s life, there is no essential difference in whether your child\’s scores are good or bad, whether he goes to Peking University or an ordinary university. What can really widen the distance between children throughout their lives are character issues related to how they behave. The establishment of character comes from the power of role models, and parents cannot escape being role models for their children. What we ask of our children doesn’t work because the parents don’t do it. For example, if parents play mahjong and scold their children to study, of course the children will not want to study. When the father says: \”I have no future, do you want to be as good as me?\” The child will think, you said you have no future, then I see you are very happy when you play mahjong, and you are very happy even if you don\’t go to college. Why do I have to go to college?Where to study? Parents are the best role models for their children. But I have encountered many problems in setting an example. My job requires the use of a computer, but when I turn on the computer, my daughter will think that I am doing other things. Although I told my daughter that I was working, she didn\’t believe it. I couldn\’t help it. Later, whenever my daughter was studying, I would take a book and read it next to my daughter. In this way, there would be a sense of rules in it, and role models played a very important role. My parents played a very important role in me. My parents are illiterate, but I have been deeply influenced by their merits, which have become the principles of my life. I use my father as an example. My father is a carpenter and a beam builder. He is an expert in our area of ​​15 miles. My father is a man who doesn\’t need to pay his wages when he is happy, because everyone in the Liang family has to treat him to drinks, and my father doesn\’t need any money when he is happy. My mother started fighting with my father because she couldn\’t get the money back home. My father is very strong and my mother is very thin. As a result, my mother beats my father every time and my father never fights back. I learned from my father that no matter what others said, he was very indifferent and would never hurt my mother at any time. My mother has a very strong personality, and sometimes what she says makes me feel uncomfortable, but my father never speaks back. So, no matter how my wife lectures me, I never reply. I think I should learn from my father. My father\’s generosity has become an advantage in me. My mother brought me more things. There are two things that I learned since I was a child. First, we need to be hardworking and brave. Parents in cities make their children hardworking and brave, which is the core of family education. Many people will say, how can our children be so diligent and brave when we are not even busy with schoolwork? I have done all the housework for him, how can he be so diligent and brave? Although my current conditions are very favorable, I still find ways to make my children diligent and brave. Unlike my time, if you didn’t work, you would starve to death. The rural environment was destined to do it without my parents telling me to do it. The second thing my mother taught me is to be helpful. My mother is a person who particularly likes to help others. There were two things that impressed me the most when I was a child. The first thing happened, there was a heavy rainstorm. I was eight or nine years old at the time. Children at this age are most susceptible to the influence of their parents. At that time, every household was drying corn. My mother, my sister, me, and my father, as a family of four, took back all the rice from our neighbors. When we were about to harvest our rice, we found that the rice had been soaked in the rain. Wet. I didn’t understand it at the time, so my mother told me two things: First, you have to help others when they are in trouble. There is no one in their family. If we don’t help them harvest, their family’s food for the year will be flooded. wet. Secondly, if neighbors don\’t get along well with each other, it\’s impossible to help each other when they encounter difficulties. My mother told me with practical actions that \”a distant relative is not as good as a close neighbor.\” The second thing is that one year the grain harvest was poor and our family had less than 20 kilograms of grain left. My mother actually gave half of the grain to a neighbor\’s house. I was very reluctant at the time, but my mother said: \”It\’s okay, our family Less, you can still use vegetablesEat it with rice. If your neighbors have many families but don’t have rice, some people will starve to death if you don’t give them rice. \”From then on, that family had a very good relationship with us, and they often took the initiative to help us harvest because they thought we were good people. Until now, my mother is the most respected person in our village. Whatever you do, you must Think about it, have I hurt others? For example, we adults sometimes like to speak ill of our neighbors and colleagues behind their backs, and we do not avoid our children when we do it. This happened to my wife and I, and we talked about things. Parents have shortcomings, who has good character and who has bad character, who is stingy and who is not stingy. As a result, one time my daughter came back from school and told me which classmate in their class was good and which classmate was bad. Which classmate is stingy and which classmate is snobbish? I told my daughter not to speak ill of your classmates. Your classmates are with you every day. If they have shortcomings that you think, keep it in your heart. More importantly, you must learn from your classmates. Advantages. My daughter immediately asked, \”When you were with your mother, didn\’t you talk about a lot of uncles and aunts? Why can\’t I say bad things about my classmates?\” \”This sentence left me speechless. From then on, my wife and I made a rule that we cannot talk about other people\’s shortcomings in front of our children, but must say good things about them. Cultivate children\’s love for life – Mood Education as mentioned above , the most important thing for family education now is to educate children to have good character, and the second is to educate children about mood. My daughter is naturally introverted and a very quiet child, while my son is very extroverted and has to crawl every day. Climbing up and down several times. My daughter does things slowly, while my son is more impatient. These are all natural differences. In addition, the children’s IQs are also different. I haven’t seen any differences in the IQs between my daughter and my son yet. The difference is because the age gap between them is relatively small. We will find that in a class, some children are always first or second, and their IQs are indeed high. And our children are always ranked first or second in the class no matter how hard they work. In the middle, or even behind. In such a situation, what should parents do? Children are different, but as long as your children are not at the level of idiots, as long as they can enter the classroom normally, they can do important things. Come. For example, Hu Xueyan only went to school for two months, but in the end he became the most powerful businessman, and he also had great ambitions. This is a good example. I am the vice president of the China Entrepreneurs Association, and this association has a There are more than 1,000 entrepreneurs, but less than 20 have graduated from Peking University, Tsinghua University, and Fudan University. The rest are all graduates from ordinary colleges and universities. There are even some farmers, workers, college students, technical secondary school students, etc., but they have all become successful Entrepreneurs. Therefore, education can only determine part of life, but not everything. We parents must have the ability to not only urge our children to progress under any circumstances, but also keep their self-esteem from being hurt. You have to ensure that your children get I am happy to be in the first place, and I am also happy to be in the last place. Let the children feel that living in the world is wonderful, and cultivating the children\’s love for life is one of the most important tasks of parents. The man in the American movie \”The Pursuit of Happyness\” main characterHe is one of the richest people in the United States, but he was once a pauper. His family was poor, he never went to college, and he made a living by selling things. One time, he met a smiling man in front of the New York Stock Exchange. That man was a stockbroker. He thought that being a stockbroker would be very happy, so he worked hard to become a stockbroker. Later, he met a person in a stockbroker training class. The person looked down on him at first, but later found out that he was very good at playing Rubik\’s Cube, and this person happened to have the same hobby, so he was deeply attracted by this person\’s Rubik\’s Cube skills. The two of them also became good friends. This man got the opportunity and became the most famous stockbroker in the United States, realizing his dream of being a billionaire. This movie is based on a true story. At the end of the movie, the man spent half an hour telling his own story. He inspired each of us that true happiness is not sent by others, but earned by our own efforts. Today\’s parents are very pampered towards their children and give them whatever they want. For example, if a child likes a toy and the parent doesn\’t buy it, he won\’t leave. In the end, the parent has no choice but to buy it. So the child has such a mentality that as long as he insists, the parent will give in. Before I buy something for my son, I will analyze whether what he wants is reasonable. If it is unreasonable, I will not buy it. If it is reasonable, I cannot easily buy it for him. I must let the child complete a task before buying it for him. For example, when my daughter was studying abroad, every child in the class had a laptop. Although my family has a desktop computer, it would be more convenient to use a laptop, and the family is not short of money, so it would be wrong not to buy it for her. I told her, Dad will definitely buy it for you, but you have to know that nothing in this world comes for free. You are now a big child and you need to work hard to get what you want. If she can recite 30 New Oriental English inspirational articles, buy them for her. As a result, within two weeks, she memorized everything by heart, so I bought her a laptop. This kind of education method allows children to learn the truth that only by giving can they get something, and also turns the child\’s favorite method into her motivation to do another thing. Give appropriate encouragement to stimulate unlimited potential – Encouragement Education Regarding how to encourage children, let me tell a story first. There is a famous physicist in the United States. When he first started studying physics in junior high school, his physics score was very poor, and he only scored 8 points. The physics teacher talked to him and asked him to study physics well. The student said that I didn\’t like it because I couldn\’t learn well. The teacher was very smart. He told the student that other students passed the test with 60 points. You only need to get 9 points next time to pass. The student thought that it would be easy for me to pass just by checking the box, so he agreed. As a result, he scored 28 points in the next exam. Although he scored 28 points, the teacher still had no reason to praise him in front of the whole class because it was still a failing grade. This teacher is very smart. She asked the whole class to subtract the last test score from this time. The last test score was 90, and this time it is still 90. One subtraction is 0, the last time was 95, this time is 93, and one subtraction is 0. The subtraction is -2. In this way, only one student remains.20 points, this is this classmate. The teacher wrote the score difference between the two exams for all the students on the blackboard and asked a question: \”Which student has made the most progress?\” The whole class said so and so in unison. This is an ironclad fact, because he is the only one who has improved by 20%. point. This kind of encouragement is not only not insulting, but also very motivating. This student became excited immediately. He thought that no matter if I got 48, 68, or 88, I would be the most improved in the class. I have countless room for improvement. The teacher did something smart, and the child felt that there was room for improvement. From then on, the child fell in love with physics and eventually became one of the greatest physicists in the world. The teacher\’s education method is very important, but the parent\’s education method is even more important, because children value their parents\’ words and deeds more. Let me give a simple example. If your child is last in the class, how do you treat your child? Most parents\’ reaction is to beat or scold them. What should you do if your child clearly knows that he is wrong, but he has no choice but to score 0 points on the test? If you continue to hurt him, he may not learn in the end. I suggest parents and friends think about the gap between first place and last place from a long-term perspective. Is it true that children who don’t go to college will have no future in their lives? Absolutely not! As I just said, as long as you educate your children well, you will be successful no matter what you do. I can give my own example. During the college entrance examination, I failed in the first year, failed in the second year, and only passed in the third year. I spent three years working hard with my classmates for one year. When I graduated from Peking University, there were 50 classmates in our class. I was fifth from the bottom, but my grades did not hinder me from pursuing my own career. . Human growth is a lifelong matter and is definitely not determined by the grades you get in elementary school or college. Scores are very important to children, but you should not think that the child has no future just because his scores are low. Parents are asked to change the criteria for judging success. A child\’s high score is one of the criteria for success, but it must not be regarded as an inevitable criterion, let alone the only criterion. Otherwise your child will suffer countless injuries, because there is only one first place in any exam. If there are 40 students in a class, except for the first one, are the other 39 children stupid? Are they all losers? Absolutely not! So I have a self-deprecating saying: In fact, it is not easy to be the first, because he walked very hard. When he looked ahead, there was no one chasing him. When he looked behind, the whole class was chasing him. He is half-dead, so there is nothing to be proud of in first place. How happy it is to be the last one. If you look forward, you will see all the people who are being chased to death by you. If you look back, there will be no one chasing you. How cool do you think this kind of life is? Of course, this view cannot be Tell your children that you must learn how to encourage them. This time he was ranked last in the exam, and next time I will encourage him to take the second to last exam. This time he scored 20 points, and next time I will encourage him to score 30 points. Never tell your child that if he gets 60 points in the test this time, tell him not to take the test next time unless he gets 90 points.Enter the house. You put it this way, of course some children will study hard, but some children can\’t get 90 points even if they work hard, so what should they do? Are you really not allowed to enter the house? You must let him in. If you let him in, it means you don\’t keep your words. The children will know in the future. My parents don\’t keep their words, so it won\’t matter to me in the future. He won\’t let me in anyway. At home, parents were stabbed by their children. Therefore, parents must remember clearly that you must never let your children eat or live with you, and you must never give them whatever they ask for. Educating children is somewhat similar to taming animals, but many parents nowadays are not as good as zoo trainers. There are two ways for animal trainers to train animals: first, encouragement, absolute encouragement; second, restriction or even punishment. I once asked a dolphin trainer why the dolphins he trained could jump out of the water and crawl through such a high circle? He said that in fact, dolphins didn\’t know how to do it at first. He first put the circle in the water, and the trained dolphins were given a fish to eat if they got through it, and those who didn\’t get through were not given a fish to eat. Dolphins are not stupid either. They quickly figured out how to eat fish. Later, the dolphins developed a conditioned reflex. Of course animals cannot be as smart as us humans. For example, if I tell you that if you jump through this circle, I will let you go to Peking University, you will definitely jump through it because you know that this thing is good for you. Dolphins don\’t know the relationship between interests, but dolphins understand one thing. As long as I get through this circle, I will have fish to eat. If I don\’t get through, I will starve. Then the trainer raised the circle halfway out of the water and allowed the dolphins to continue drilling. The dolphin found that the circle was no longer in the water and had no choice but to jump over. Gradually, the circle is raised continuously, and it needs to be lifted about 10-20 times. It takes about a year to complete the training of dolphins jumping in circles. Have you ever noticed that when watching a dolphin show, any dolphin that jumps from the circle will definitely swim to the trainer to ask for fish, because it knows that it will get something to eat every time it jumps over. From the dolphin example above, parents should understand that encouragement and limitations are very important in the process of educating children. For example, if a child gets a score of 0, you want to encourage the child to get a score of 10 next time. When the child thinks that it is quite easy to get a score of 10, you can add some conditions. For example, if this child loves McDonald\’s, you can use it as a temptation. If the child gets a score of 10, you will take him to McDonald\’s, and then add the child\’s score bit by bit. For example, if your child gets a score of 60 on the test, you must not say that you will get a score of 90 next time, or scold the child. You have to tell your child, 60 points is already pretty good. Will you be able to get 70 points next time? I won’t compare you with your classmates. I only see that you are better today than you were yesterday, and you will be better tomorrow than you are today. This The child\’s score goes up imperceptibly. Every time he goes up a little bit, you have to encourage him. When the score is lower, you have to tell your child that this time it may be an accidental mistake, and your parents support you. Never hurt your children\’s enthusiasm for learning. While encouraging, parents should also set rules for their children. My son especially likes ice cream, my wife made him eat so much every day that his teeth were damaged. Seeing that this was not the way to go, I stipulated that he could only eat one ice cream a day, and he could only eat it half an hour after finishing dinner. My son was just over 4 years old at the time and had no idea what half an hour was. I told him that it would take half an hour for that long needle to go anywhere. My son looked at the clock for a while, more than 100 times in half an hour. I finally made it to half an hour and couldn\’t wait to eat the ice cream. On the second day, it became more than a dozen times. On the third day, it became two or three times. On the fourth day, he knew that he couldn\’t eat for a while anyway, so he went to play and waited until he remembered. Half an hour had passed by the time I ate. As long as it is the right thing, parents should encourage their children and set rules for their children. After establishing rules, parents must not change them casually, otherwise problems may arise if they are changed. Finally, I want to talk about another problem parents make, called talent syndrome. Parents particularly want their children to become little geniuses. In fact, this is due to their vanity. Chinese parents make two mistakes: Complete video lectures by Wang Jinzhan: How to make children fall in love with learning? First, let your children know what you don\’t know, and hope that your children will achieve success in a certain field. Therefore, many parents force their children to learn this or that from primary school, which makes no sense. The most important thing for a child is to let him grow up slowly. My daughter likes to play the piano very much. She started playing it when she was 5 years old. As she played, her taste changed. She passed the exams one by one and had to take classes every week. She had to sit for an hour each time and couldn\’t move. As a result, my daughter All interest in playing the piano was killed. My daughter doesn’t want to learn anymore, but my wife forces her to learn. I asked my wife, your child passed level 10 of piano when she was 10 years old. Will she learn to play piano after she is 10 years old? If she does not learn to play piano after 10 years old, then she should learn piano from 1 to 10 years old. What\’s the use? If you don\’t want to train your child to be a great pianist, then it makes no sense for your child to pass the CET-10 exam at the age of 10. Second, if you let your child learn in this way, she will lose interest in the piano and she will not like playing the piano at all. I told my daughter that dad will not force you to study, nor will he let you take exams. The thing that my father regrets most in his life is that he cannot play a musical instrument. Playing a musical instrument can relieve depression. In principle, learning piano is not for you to take a grade, but to help you find a channel to express your mood. You will definitely enter the social circle in the future. If you can provide piano accompaniment when your friends sing, you will gain the respect of others. If you don\’t want to learn, can you maintain your current level? My daughter actually likes the piano very much. When she is tired from homework, she plays the piano for half an hour. From then on, she studied with the teacher once a week, and her interest in learning piano became more and more intense. To sum up, the most important thing in family education is character education, followed by mood education, and the third is encouragement education. Finally, parents must let their children learn to endure hardship. Finally, I want to tell parents and friends: If you give everything, your life, wealth, and status to your children, your children may not be happy throughout their lives; you can only teach your children how to be a successful person.Teach your children how to pursue their own goals and learn to enjoy the happiness and satisfaction after achieving their goals. Only then will your children gain true happiness.