Don\’t Chinese parents respect their children?

It is instinct for parents to love their children, but sometimes parents\’ desire to control their children exceeds their impulse to love their children. If most parents don\’t learn some psychological knowledge and don\’t have rational awareness and thinking, it will be difficult for them to respect their children. Respect is essentially seeing, caring, satisfying, and letting go. Respect should be mutual and equal. Children need to know that to enjoy the respect of their parents, they must also respect their parents. The cognitive level of parents and the culture of the family often determine to a large extent whether parents can truly respect their children. 60 Tips to Cultivate Your Child to Be a Responsible Person The underlying logic of the PDF needs to be updated. As material living standards improve, children\’s emotional needs become more and more prominent. However, some traditional family cultural views in our country do not treat children as independent individuals and do not put children\’s own feelings and needs in an important position. This will naturally cause conflicts between parents and children. Modern parents still have parenting concepts such as \”parent-child integration\”, some of which are influenced by traditional concepts, and some are due to the limitations of the parents\’ own cognitive level. If parents want to truly respect their children, they should first update the underlying logic of their own thinking. Parents should live well themselves. If parents\’ own life and career are in a mess, they will not be in a good physical and mental state to love their children. They may even treat their children as a trash can for their own emotions, or let their children bear the burden of their parents\’ life regrets and unfulfilled ideals. I once met a parent in a consultation case. When it came to understanding and respecting their children, the parent said aggrievedly: \”I have been beaten and scolded by my parents since I was a child. I still have a lot of resentment and no place to vent it.\” Well, today\’s children can\’t be scolded or hit, and this still suffocates me to death!\” Only when parents themselves grow up and become happy can they free up psychological space to accommodate their children\’s emotions and respect their children\’s feelings. Families must have a sense of boundaries. What is a sense of boundary? For example, a mother often goes directly to her daughter’s dormitory to tidy up the cabinets and unpack and wash the bedsheets without her daughter’s permission or greeting in advance. After her daughter protested, her mother ignored her. This is the embodiment of no sense of boundaries. Only when family members have a sense of boundaries can they enter an ideal state of relationship: everyone is in their place, avoids being offside, fills in as needed, and returns to their place in a timely manner. Parents have a sense of boundaries, not only to respect their children, but also to respect themselves. A clear sense of boundaries will always remind parents: \”Whoever is responsible for what is responsible for it, and overly proactive help is control.\” If we love our children, we should give them the freedom to choose and cultivate their ability and awareness to make their own decisions. Understand your child\’s needs. To respect life, we must meet the needs of life growth. As long as the child\’s ideas from childhood are not distorted, the child\’s instinctive needs are often beneficial to his development. Parents need to hear their children’s calls and understand their children’s needs. Children should be their own \”masters\”, and parents should play the role of \”logistics\” and \”consultants\”, providing the educational resources, learning resources, appreciation and recognition, high-quality companionship, etc. that their children need, rather than being \”housekeepers\” who deal with every detail. \”. For example, a girl in the first grade of junior high school became emotionally unstable because she could not adapt to the new environment after transferring to another school.He was depressed, often locking himself in his room after school and not talking to his family. Her parents understand that the child has encountered difficulties and needs time to slowly adjust. They also understand that retreat is a child\’s growth need and a kind of self-protection at this special stage. Therefore, parents are not anxious, but let their children \”lie down\” in their own way for a while, and then slowly come out at their own pace. They also occasionally organize gatherings with their daughter\’s classmates at home to help their daughter get familiar with new classmates and the new environment. After half a year, the child gradually gained energy and his academic performance was getting better and better. Reduce rules and free up space. Parents should examine the family rules and smash some unnecessary, outdated, and rigid family rules to free up more space for family members and create more conditions for mutual respect among family members. For example, if a guest comes to the house and the parents ask the child to say hello to the guest but the child is unwilling to say hello, if the parents force the child to do so, they are not respecting the child and ignoring the child\’s right to refuse. For another example, it is the child\’s obligation to do homework, but whether to do homework first or play with the mobile phone first, to write Chinese homework first or to write math homework first, these are the children\’s rights. Of course, the rights of children in each family are different, and the degree of respect for children is also different. How to respect children is related to social culture and family culture. For example, in my family, children are allowed to play mobile games as long as they are not addicted. If allowed, children can play games with dignity. In a safe and positive family environment, children can arrange their own time for learning and playing. Not only will it not delay the child\’s learning, but it will also stimulate the child\’s motivation to manage their own time. One thing that needs to be emphasized is that respecting children does not mean doting on children. Respecting children is not inconsistent with demanding children with discipline and rules. When a child\’s request is unreasonable, when a child\’s behavior violates an agreement or crosses a family red line, parents can calmly and firmly reject the child\’s request. This does not mean disrespect for the child, but rather reflects the parents\’ rational and long-term care for the child. Love.