Children have happy childhood memories because they are allowed to do these useless things

Raising children is a process that cannot be rushed, but sometimes we are inevitably utilitarian: buying many classics is to hope that children can write well; enrolling in interest classes is to prevent children from \”losing at the starting line\”; learning talents is to prevent children from \”losing at the starting line\”. We also let children learn what they can get extra points… The criterion for judging something we want children to do is whether it is useful, especially whether it is useful for learning. However, when we do something with a utilitarian motive, the final effect may be greatly compromised. Underlying the utilitarianism is the deep-seated anxiety of parents, and the children are also deeply affected. They feel that they can\’t do anything well and lose interest in learning prematurely. On the road of parenting, the more eager we are to achieve results, the more we will lose. Children\’s Educational Video: Childhood Documentary in a Foreign Land Baidu Cloud Download 4K Ultra-HD Sometimes, if you allow your children to slow down and do some \”useless things\”, your children\’s gains will surprise you. The first \”useless thing\”: playing. A kindergarten teacher once said: \”After teaching for so many years, the most common question I hear is that parents worry about asking: Do their children play every day?\” When I learned that the kindergarten uses games For basic activities, parents will inevitably complain: \”Don\’t learn Pinyin? Don\’t learn addition and subtraction? What should I do if I can\’t keep up when I go back to elementary school?\” In the eyes of parents, playing is the most \”useless\” thing. As a child grows, play time is always the first to be sacrificed and given up. It seems that play and learning are opposites and even harmful. In fact, games and play are more important to children than we think. They can not only cultivate children\’s various abilities, but also guarantee their childhood happiness. Take \”playing house\” as an example. This is a role-playing game that almost all children like to play. The table is filled with bottles and cans, pretending to cook, holding a spoon and pretending to feed stuffed animals food, and you play the role of dad. , I play the role of mother… In the seemingly boring and meaningless play behavior, the children exercise their fine movements and improve their language communication skills. In this way, they understand the rules of the adult world, and at the same time learn division of labor and cooperation. . Even without these benefits, the sheer joy of playing is rewarding. For children, seemingly boring behaviors contain abilities that will last a lifetime. The second \”useless thing\”: Useless hobbies. A parent posted such a missing object notice at the entrance of the elevator: Picture from: Douban netizen @小熊 He wrote at the end: \”This is a card that the child has been saving for a long time. , it is something he loves very much. If you pick it up, please contact us in time, thank you very much!\” Netizens expressed that they were very touched after seeing it. What this parent values ​​is not the child\’s card album, but the child\’s mood for cherishing the card album. In childhood, many children will be obsessed with some things or have some special hobbies. Their sense of joy and happiness often come from these \”useless\” little things. Unfortunately, this feeling is often not understood by adults. Once a child\’s academic performance declines, this \”hobby\” becomes the culprit and is stopped and cracked down mercilessly. In fact, as long as a hobby does not violate social ethics and is safe, it will not affect children\’s learning.key factors. For a happy and fulfilling childhood, children should have some time to do the things they like. Although in the short term, these things cannot help children solve any practical problems, they can bring them a positive and optimistic attitude, and their spirit will definitely be enriched. While doing these things, the children are also enjoying real happiness. These joys in childhood may be the most precious and valuable to a child\’s life. The third \”useless thing\”: reading idle books. A mantra of a parent friend is: \”Idle books harm people.\” In his view, today\’s extracurricular readings are too miscellaneous, and those books that are not directly related to learning are all \”idle books.\” \”, it is not good for children to read too much. His children were only allowed to read books designated by teachers or books related to exams. In fact, for children, interest is the first motivation for reading. Only by satisfying your own interests and needs first can you continue to read widely. What adults consider \”good books\” is not that children don\’t read them, they just need time. Leisure books are bait for children to fall in love with reading. As long as the content of the book is harmless, it is not a bad thing for children to like reading leisure books. We only need to observe changes in children\’s interests and guide them appropriately. The fourth \”useless thing\”: experiencing life. Today\’s children\’s childhood does not seem so happy. In the past, college was not the only way out for children. If they did not study well, they would be proud of being able to live. If they folded a quilt and washed the dishes, their families would feel very happy. But it is much harder for today\’s children to make their parents happy. Because everyone has a single criterion for evaluating children—that is, academic performance. If a child does not learn well, it is a failure. Many children have a strong sense of loneliness and meaninglessness at an age when they should be innocent. If a child wants to go into the kitchen to help his mother cook, he will be kicked out immediately: \”You don\’t have to do such small things, you can just read a book.\” Without the real experience of life, no autonomy and no self-confidence, children gradually lose the ability to perceive happiness and are trapped in the worries of learning. The ability to be happy is the most important thing in a child\’s life. This subjective feeling is hidden in the small details of life. The whole family cleans together, goes for a walk, studies cooking skills together… Children should be allowed to see every aspect of life, so that they will not be \”hollow\” easily. Tao Xingzhi once said: Life is education. Allowing children to experience life is to awaken their vitality. There is actually no standard for measuring whether something is useful or useless for a child\’s growth. Many things that seem useless now are likely to become nutrients for children\’s growth in the future. Zhuangzi said: \”Everyone knows the uses of useful things, but no one knows the uses of useless things.\” Some very important changes in children\’s lives may come from these useless things. To accompany the growth of our children, we should also let go of our attachment to \”usefulness\” and do some useless things. It does not have so many negative effects, but rather enriches the children\’s lives.