How to make a child with low self-esteem become confident?

There is a question that has attracted the attention of more than 1 million people on the Internet, \”How does it feel to be a child who has lacked self-confidence since childhood?\” One of the highly praised answers is as follows: 1. I walk very slowly and have a habit of lowering my head when meeting people; 2. Looking at people on the road When an acquaintance comes over, he habitually avoids and never goes up to say hello 3. Speaks in a low voice and dare not look at people’s faces; 4. Takes the smaller portion when others divide things; 5. Afraid that others will see that he is excellent; 6. Afraid that others will see me making a fool of myself; 7. Never or rarely reject others; 8. Don’t hand in the test papers until many people have handed them in; 7. Never dare to stand at the front of the line; 10. I have always longed to be That person who everyone likes. These are all signs of low self-esteem. If this is the case for you, have you ever thought about why you have low self-esteem? Psychologist Adler said: \”Everyone is born with low self-esteem. But some children grow out of low self-esteem and live confidently. Some children turn low self-esteem into a personality background.\” I witnessed it with my own eyes. My cousin\’s journey from self-confidence to low self-esteem. The distance between self-confidence and inferiority is just words. My cousin is the eldest daughter of my uncle. When she first entered elementary school, my uncle and aunt moved to the city with their youngest daughter and son. My cousin and grandparents stayed in the village until the fourth grade, when they moved to the city to study. When she was a child, she was a talkative and laughing little girl, cheerful and generous. After moving to the city to live with her parents, her personality changed a lot. When I see my family and relatives, I no longer joke. I become very silent. I always walk with my head down and speak very quietly. Later we chatted together and I found out why. After she went to study in the city, she was ridiculed by her classmates because she had always spoken in dialect and could not speak Mandarin well. The uncle said: \”Why can my younger brothers and sisters say yes, but you can say no? If you say no, you will be laughed at.\” Since she has lived with her grandparents for three years, the details of her life are different from those of her family. The uncle and aunt always After repeatedly correcting her, the way she holds the bowl and the way she holds the chopsticks makes every meal feel like suffering. This is how American mothers teach self-confidence pdf electronic version download. Once, she asked her mother: \”Why does daddy like my sister so much?\” Her mother said: \”Because my sister studies well, sings well, and is also the monitor.\” She continued to ask: \”My younger brother studies well.\” No, why does dad like his brother so much?\” Mom said, \”Because my brother is a boy.\” I think at that moment, she must have felt that she was worthless and completely denied herself. There was another final exam. She felt that she had done well in the exam and was very happy. She told her mother: \”I think I can be first or second in the exam.\” Dad heard this and said: \”What\’s the use of talking about it? Come up with practical results.\” Let’s talk about the results.” Parents will definitely not harbor any ill will toward their children, and uncles and aunts will definitely love their daughters. But these unintentional words were remembered by the 10-year-old cousin and completely changed her character. When I grew up, my cousin was still taciturn. She said to me: \”Speak less and make fewer mistakes. You may not say anything right.\” She said that no matter what I did, my parents would always find my shortcomings. Now if there is any problem in my marriage or work, I feel that it is my responsibility and I am always reviewing myself. inappropriate familyEducation is often the root cause of personal inferiority. The child in the eyes of parents is the self in the heart of the child. Many people born in the 1970s and 1980s received a suppressive education. Previously, \”90% of the respondents said they had been verbally attacked by their parents\” became a hot search topic. The survey subjects were 2,006 young people aged 18 to 35 years old. Surprisingly, 90.6% of the respondents admitted that their parents had verbally attacked them. And 45.4% of the respondents believed that this kind of attack would continue into middle school. As many as 59.7% of the respondents believe that persecutory education makes them lack self-confidence and make them prone to self-denial. Psychologist Dr. Susan Forward wrote in \”The Toxic Parent\”: No child is willing to admit that he is worse than others. They want to be affirmed by adults, and their understanding of themselves often comes from the evaluation of adults. People who are often beaten by their parents are often prone to low self-esteem and can fall into self-doubt and self-denial. In severe cases, they may also suffer from mental illness, leading to many extreme behaviors. In the process of raising children, whether the parents\’ language is positive or negative, whether the tone is encouraging or sarcastic, and whether the attitude is gentle or cold, all have a profound impact on the child\’s confidence in life. Parents\’ blow and denial will make the child feel that he must be too bad, and make the people he loves the most deny him. There is a concept in psychology called the mirror effect, which means that people use other people\’s attitudes towards themselves as a mirror, and thus form an impression of their self-concept. To put it simply, children will reflect their parents’ words or behaviors and attitudes in their minds like a mirror, and will react similarly, thinking that they are the kind of person their parents see. If parents treat their children gently, praise and encourage their children, the children will think of themselves as beautiful and precious people. If parents often criticize and belittle their children, they will feel that they are failures and cannot do anything well. They will deny their abilities, develop an inferiority complex, and then lose their enthusiasm for learning and life. In the movie \”Forrest Gump\”, Forrest Gump\’s mother is a great mother. Forrest Gump\’s IQ is only 75 points and he is slightly mentally retarded, but his mother never hits him. Because of the curvature of his spine, he had to wear leg braces. Others looked at A-Gump strangely, and his mother said to him: \”You are no different from others.\” His mother has been guiding him to be a confident child and encouraging him. And support, A-Gump eventually grew into a strong, optimistic child. Please do these things to cultivate confident children. As parents, we all hope that our children can become confident people, because confident children are willing to learn new skills and face new challenges. How to raise confident children? Parents, please do the following: Love your children unconditionally. No matter whether the children are smart, healthy, or outstanding, parents should love them as a matter of course. Let your children know that their parents are their strongest backers and will always be there to support them whenever they need help. Give children the opportunity to make mistakes. Every child will make mistakes as they grow up, and they will make more than one mistake. It can be said that children grow up in the process of making mistakes and correcting them, and they will continue to make mistakes and correct themselves. processDevelop self-confidence – self-confidence can detect mistakes and correct them after making them. When a child makes a mistake, tell him: It is normal for good children to make mistakes. It is great to be able to discover their own mistakes and correct them! Discover your child\’s progress and provide more encouragement. Children need affirmation from their parents. Don\’t be stingy with your praise and encouragement. When your child completes a task, praise her efforts as much as possible. Your positive and specific feedback not only helps your child build confidence, but also helps your child realize that they should be proud of the success they have worked hard to achieve. Don’t cry poor to your children frequently and deliberately. This will also make your children feel insecure about money. Your children will overly suppress their true inner needs and feel that they are not worthy of all the good things, making your children feel inferior and cowardly. . If there are really difficulties at home, you can tell the children about the conditions at home realistically after they have reached a certain level of psychological maturity. Do not exaggerate or emphasize frequently. This can help the children understand the difficulties of their parents and the cruelty of the real world. The famous Irish dramatist Bernard Shaw once said: \”A person with confidence can turn the small into the great and the mediocre into the magical.\” This is the power of self-confidence. A child who is full of confidence in his own abilities and values ​​will be able to face learning and life positively and optimistically, and experience the joy of success. In order to cultivate a confident child, parents must control their mouths and speak well to their children. Don\’t let language become a knife that cuts off the relationship between parents and children. Don\’t let your children be quietly sad, disappointed, and desperate. Don\’t wait until it doesn\’t arrive in time and then regret it.