How to guide children to learn independently?

It is what many parents long for for their children to be able to take the initiative and learn independently. Such children can not only achieve good results, but also save their parents worry and save money at home. But this excellent quality of children is not innate, but needs to be carefully cultivated by parents. What should parents do? Today we will talk about 7 ways to help children learn to learn independently. To cultivate children\’s independence and initiative, parents must strike a balance between \”letting go\” and \”strict discipline\”. There are two extremes to pay attention to: the first is that there is no room for negotiation on principled matters, and children Parents must be obeyed, such as going to school, and children must go to school on time. The second is details. Parents should not overly interfere with the details of their children\’s work. For example, the child should decide whether to play first or do homework first. Parents only need to pay attention to whether he completes his homework. Excessive intervention will cause children to be dependent, unable to adapt to a highly competitive environment, and lack achievement motivation. [Value 298 yuan] Download the 30-lesson training collection of independent learning ability to guide children to focus on success. Children must be rewarded when they achieve good results. This can turn the child\’s attention to activities that can bring him success. The reward method is Verbal rewards are the main method. Praising your child\’s abilities can make your child feel valuable and improve your child\’s self-esteem. If your child has low self-esteem, he may be more inclined to avoid various achievement activities rather than actively participate in them. Appropriate evaluation of children. Excessive praise will prevent children from accepting their true selves. If you praise your child as a genius every day, then most of the children will think so too. In this way, when others tell him that he is not a genius, he will stick to his own point of view and think that others are slandering him, thus becoming hostile to others. Moreover, a person who thinks he is perfect cannot accept reasonable suggestions provided by others, which often results in stagnation. Appropriate evaluation of children requires parents to truly evaluate their children. If a child does well, it is good, and it must be praised. If it is not so good, You should tell your children that they still need to work hard. Guide children to attribute success or failure. If you got first place in the school in the exam, what would you attribute your success to? If you think that success is brought about by your own efforts, you will study harder; if you think that you were lucky this time and got good results, then you probably won\’t work so hard. It is important to guide children in how they view their own successes and failures. If you find that your child has been hit by failure, it is best to attribute the child\’s failure to external reasons such as bad luck. If your child achieves success, you should tell him that his efforts were an important factor in that success. Set Reasonable Goals Many parents will set a goal for their children, such as \”This final exam must be in the top ten.\” Such goals are called performance goals, which use achieved results to measure a person\’s success. Another type of goal is called a mastery goal, which uses whether you acquire new skills as a measure of your success. A large number of studies have found that students with mastery goals are more willing to choose challenging tasks than students with achievement goals, and they are also more willing to choose some classes during breaks.They learn more and are more willing to try when faced with difficulties. Therefore, parents should guide their children to choose mastery goals. They should ask their children more about \”what they learned today\” and less about \”where did they get in the exam?\” Differentiating Boys and Girls Boys and girls define success differently. Boys tend to think that gaining a higher status in the group is a sign of success, while girls think that success is achieved by doing something well. As parents, we should respect the nature of our children and not arbitrarily dictate what our children must do to be successful. Pay Attention to Hostile Behavior in Children People with high achievement motivation are more likely to develop heart diseases such as coronary heart disease. But more detailed research found that it is not high-achievement motivation that brings heart disease, but the hostility accompanying high-achievement motivation that brings heart disease. Hostility is more likely to cause heart disease than cholesterol. It is easy to understand how a person who desperately desires success will feel about those who stand in the way of his success. If your child often loses his temper and shows extreme hatred, you\’d better seek help from a professional psychological counselor. The most helpful thing parents can do is to make reasonable attributions as mentioned above and guide their children. Set a mastery goal that is non-competitive and does not conflict with others.