The suggestion effect is too scary. There are some things you should never say to your children.

Educating children is a lifelong practice for parents. On the road of practice, not only the heart of a parent is cultivated, but also the words and deeds of parents. The words and deeds of parents will determine what kind of person their children will become. I wonder if you have noticed a phenomenon. The more we don’t let our children do something, the more they do it. Especially when we tell them not to spill the rice, it turns out that it’s okay if we don’t tell them, but they actually spill the rice if we tell them. The more you don\’t give in, the more it happens, which is called the \”white bear effect\” in psychology. The more negative words you hear subconsciously, the more you tend to position yourself. There will even be a concept formed in my heart that I am such a person. Good family traditions and good family training stories make good children a 100-day family parent-child interaction plan pdf Just like my child, one time when we went out, she didn\’t look at the road and fell down. I said, why are you walking so fast? Not to mention watching the road. So careless, who knows, since then, the child will fall down every time he goes out. I really wonder why I always remind my child not to be so fast and not to be so careless. Why doesn\’t it have any effect? Are you falling more and more often? Just by chance, I came across a video that said, the more you keep talking, the more you keep things from happening. Subconsciously, the child will move closer to what you say. This is called the \”white bear effect\”. Just like the matter of falling down, if I tell my children a lot, they will say, I am that kind of person. From this incident, it seems that negative hints have a great impact on children\’s subconscious minds. The book \”Lifelong Growth\” once said: Whether a child\’s thinking is positive or negative depends on the parent\’s way of thinking. The way of thinking is divided into growth thinking and fixed thinking. The different ways of thinking will determine the different ideas in the child\’s subconscious mind. Yesterday, I went to play downstairs in the community and saw a child playing on the slide. The child accidentally fell. My mother asked, why did he fall? You\’re so stupid. I don\’t think I can do anything well in the future. For such a small thing, the mother not only said that the child was stupid, but also extended it to the child\’s future, saying that he would not be able to do anything well in the future. I believe that this mother originally wanted her children to be well and had high expectations for her children, but she used the wrong method. Not only did they not use positive words to guide their children, they also used negative words to attack them. What if this mother changed her approach and said, \”It doesn\’t matter. Mom believes in you. As long as you practice a few more times, you will get better and better at skating.\” When the child skates better and better, the mother can say to the child, look, you did it! Mom knows, as long as you have patience and practice a few more times. You will get better and better at skating. You are really a child with perseverance, perseverance and patience. British educator Spencer once said: When children feel loved and trusted, miracles will soon appear in front of you. So how to adopt a \”growth mindset\” to teach children? Remove \”don\’t\” from life and directly tell your children what to do. Replace \”Don\’t Cry\” with \”Baby, you can cry, but keep your voice down\”. At the same time, tell your child that Mommy believes in you and you will adjust your mood after a while. Replace not being able to lose your temper with, baby, I know you are sad, you can lose your temper, but you have to keep yourself safe, and at the same time, you have to keep the objects around you safe. When you are in a quiet environment, do notIf you want to speak loudly, please lower your voice if you are a baby. When going to bed at night, replace \”don\’t make noise\” with \”please keep quiet\”. Mom is going to sleep. When the child does not collect the toys, instead of not collecting the toys every time, you should send them home because the baby misses his mother! When your child hits someone, replace \”don\’t hit\” with \”baby\”. I know you are angry and unhappy. You can be unhappy, but your behavior of hitting is wrong. Replace negative words with a growth mindset in life. When climbing a mountain, if your child wants to give up, don’t tell me why you want to give up after climbing only two steps. Baby, your mother will know that you are tired. You can rest for a while, but after resting, we will continue climbing. Mom believes that as long as you continue to persevere, you will be able to reach the top of the mountain. When your child encounters something that is difficult to give up, don\’t just say, \”If you don\’t, then you can\’t.\” It will know that you can\’t do it well. Instead, baby\’s mother knows that you are new to it and find it a little difficult. But mom believes in you. As long as you calm down, study in depth, and become familiar with the rules, you will definitely do it well. When a child doesn\’t eat well, don\’t say, \”You always run around during meal time.\” Instead, say, \”Baby, I like to see you sit there and eat quietly.\” When a child puts together a puzzle, it can be said that you are really perseverant and patient, baby. Although you find it a bit difficult when you put it together, you have been very patient and put the puzzle together. When you want your children to study hard, it doesn\’t mean that you have to study hard. Studying hard is a very abstract rule and concept. Instead, tell the children, \”When doing homework, do not leave your place, do not interfere with others, and hand it to the teacher in time after completing the homework.\” Such specific hints are easier for children to understand and implement. In the process of raising children, if parents say these words of growth mindset to their children to guide them, you will find that your children will be better than you imagined. Growth mindset: assertive, responsible, responsible, patient, perseverance, perseverance, persistence, careful, optimistic, positive, efficient, proactive, loves to think, and loves to use brain. Fixed mindset: Say less that you are stupid, impatient, opinionated, unwilling to talk, introverted, shy, unwilling to talk, unwilling to think, lazy, careless, have no perseverance, love to give up, have no sense of responsibility, and do not like to persevere. When you continue to use a growth mindset to guide and hint your children, you will find that your children have been developing in the direction you hinted. As a parent, never underestimate the power of \”hints\”. Positive hints will allow your children to have a positive life. Negative hints will prevent children from getting out of the shadow of depression throughout their lives. What kind of person a child will become in the future depends on how parents hint at the moment. One word difference will determine the choice and direction of the child\’s future life. What do you think about children’s positive and negative “cues”? Please leave a message to discuss ~