What should I do if my child is addicted to online novels?

Recently, a parent asked me what to do if my child is always addicted to online novels. I don’t know if there are many such children, but from my personal experience, there should be quite a few such children, so I will separate this question. Let’s discuss with you and analyze how to do it. Regarding this issue, when I was writing this article, I searched specifically on the Internet, but after reading some answers, I felt that they were not reliable because they did not understand why children are addicted to novels. The complete works of Jin Yong\’s martial arts novels can be downloaded from Baidu Cloud. All 15 new works in the century + Chinese audio MP3 collector\’s edition. We determine the solution to the problem based on the cause. For example, if you think it is the teacher who makes the child tired of studying, then you will find teacher. So if the cause is wrong, then there is something wrong with our solution. The direction is wrong, no matter how much you do, it will be in vain. So why are children addicted to online novels? Why do children become addicted to online novels? In the opinion of many experts or many parents, the reason why children become addicted to online novels is because the twists and turns and ups and downs of online novels are so attractive that children become addicted. It cannot be said that this is not true, but to blame the entire reason on online novels would be to oversimplify the problem. Take my own experience as an example. I have obvious reading preferences at different times. I am a person who particularly likes to read books. I have been fond of reading novels since the fourth grade. The first big novel I read at that time was \”How Steel Was Tempered\”. I still remember it very clearly. I often lie in bed Read this book in bed. I also read a 5cm-thick book called The Unsolved Mysteries of the World, and other books like Journey to the West and Liaozhai. I read whatever books I had at home. Later, I started to get into martial arts novels, including Gu Long, Jin Yong, and many other writers whose names I have forgotten. I read countless martial arts novels at that time. Some novels are not complete at all, but they are still enjoyable to read. Now I still clearly remember a martial arts novel that was deceived by its name, which is \”Nine Yin and Nine Yang\” written by Jin Yong. Later, when I was in junior high school, and until high school, I especially liked reading romance novels. I still clearly remember an author named Xi Juan. I often borrow novels outside of school to read. In order to facilitate students to read secretly, many romance novels are cut into the size of a palm, so that students can easily read them in a book during class. At this time, I read a lot of science fiction novels, but relatively few martial arts novels. In order to read science fiction novels, I even ordered \”Science Fiction World\”. Nowadays, people only know about Liu\’s \”Three-Body World\”, but they don\’t know that there are other great writers like Wang Jinkang and He Xi, as well as Ni Kuang\’s Wesley. Mind-blowing. After I went to college, I became completely addicted to online novels. I would borrow 3 or 4 books at a time from the bookstore at the school gate and finish them in two days. My favorite three categories are time travel, online games and fantasy. I didn’t learn much in four years of college, so I only read these online novels. see it? I have obvious reading preferences at different times, and I have obvious preferred themes, and I don’t read all novels. If it is because the novel is full of twists and turns, then it stands to reason that I should like all good-looking novels, but this is obviously not the case. So the child sinksThe reason for being obsessed with novels is not only the novel itself, but also has a lot to do with the child\’s own inner needs. Both parents and some experts have ignored the inherent needs of children, so I say that the causes of everyone\’s problems have not been solved correctly, and of course they are destined to not be able to solve this problem well. So what inner needs of children does the novel satisfy? This depends on what online novels your child likes to read. If children like to read romance novels, it means that they are interested in the opposite sex, but they do not dare to try it due to secular pressure, so they can only use romance novels to satisfy their needs for the opposite sex. By reading such novels, they imagine themselves as the protagonist in the novel, falling in love with each other, going through various tests of love, and finally achieving success. If children like to read all kinds of fantasy novels and watch the protagonist cheat and kill everyone, it means that in reality, children are dissatisfied with themselves and feel that they are not good enough, so they want to satisfy their pursuit of excellence through such novels and fantasize about You can achieve success as easily as the protagonist, win money and beauty, and slap your enemies in the face. Novels with different themes can meet children’s different psychological needs. It’s not just novels that are good-looking. Parents must realize this. Only by understanding the cause of the problem can parents prescribe the right medicine to truly solve the problem. But all novels reflect one problem, that is, children are escaping from reality. They cannot be satisfied in reality, so they escape to novels and paralyze themselves with the help of illusory novels. So why do children escape from reality? Why children escape from reality The reason why children escape from reality is very simple. It must be because their desires cannot be satisfied through reality. If they want to satisfy their desires, they can only escape from reality. So why can’t we satisfy our desires in reality? There are only two reasons: First, my desires are too big. For example, I want to be the best in the world, want to be the best in martial arts, want to be rich and powerful, and want all women or men to be obsessed with me when they see me… This is obviously It is unrealistic, so it is destined to not be realized through reality, so they resort to the fiction of novels to satisfy their imaginations. The second reason is that one\’s own abilities are not enough and cannot be satisfied through reality. The second reason is lack of ability. To be number one in the world, to be extremely wealthy, to have unparalleled martial arts skills… From another perspective, isn\’t this a lack of ability? And maybe the child\’s ability is too far away from this. Needless to say, he is far from the best in the world and the best in the class. He may even be the last. Everyone does not want to be frustrated, but expects to be excellent. Faced with this reality, he feels that he cannot change, so he becomes addicted to novels, numbing himself in novels to satisfy his desires. To put it simply, children\’s addiction to online novels means that some of their inner needs cannot be realized through reality, so they can only use novels to satisfy themselves. The stronger their inner needs, the more addicted they will be to certain types of novels. At this time, parents\’ criticism and prohibition are useless, because if they want to grow up healthily, they must satisfy their own needs. This is a strong instinct. If parents can prohibit it,Then their needs cannot be met, which means their growth is stifled. So based on instinct, they will strongly resist their parents. So what should parents do? How to deal with children\’s addiction to novels. It is normal to satisfy psychological needs. Parents should also help their children satisfy them. However, the children have chosen the wrong way. As parents, we should guide our children to meet their psychological needs in the right way. First of all, parents should guide their children to understand themselves correctly and not to be too ambitious. As we analyzed above, children are addicted to novels and escape from reality because they have too much desire and insufficient practical ability. The gap between ideal and reality is too big, so children are To escape reality, as parents, it is very necessary for us to adjust our children\’s understanding of themselves and accept the reality of themselves, instead of always having unrealistic fantasies about themselves. Once children correctly understand themselves and accept their own shortcomings, they can set a more reasonable goal for themselves based on this reality, and then work hard to improve themselves. This is the correct way to do things, and Only in this way can you become better and better. Secondly, from reality, using the right way to satisfy children who are addicted to novels shows that they have this psychological need, then we must meet the psychological needs of children. In the past, children were satisfied through novels. If we can satisfy them through real-life methods, they will no longer need to rely on novels to satisfy themselves. For example, if a child is addicted to romance novels, if you can guide the child to actually fall in love in reality, do you think he will still seek pleasure in novels? If he could really pretend to be sexy and have unrivaled martial arts skills in reality, would he still need to rely on novels to numb himself? Of course, generally speaking, it is difficult to meet their needs in reality, so they become addicted to novels, but difficulty does not mean that it is impossible to meet their needs. Parents should try their best to find ways to help their children meet their needs in reality. To meet their needs, not all of them can be met, but some of them can be met. After some of their needs are met in reality, their need for novels will not be so strong. And as we said above, adjust children\’s expectations, change their cognition, and reduce their desires. By combining the two, on the basis of reducing desires and satisfying them in reality, children will not be so addicted to novels. . Summary: Children’s addiction to novels is not as simple as many parents think. It is actually the result of their inner psychological needs being unable to be satisfied in reality. They are forced to rely on novels to escape reality and numb themselves. As a parent, if you cannot see this psychological need of your child and just unilaterally want to control your child\’s reading of novels, you are destined to be instinctively resisted by your child, and you will not be able to solve the problem.