What is the biggest enemy of children’s education?

Does a child\’s growth and success depend on the child\’s self-consciousness, or does it depend on the discipline and supervision of the parents? There is a Chinese mother’s parenting story that answers this question. 36 skills for parents to communicate with their children HD PDF Her name is Yu Jinguo and she has two children. The eldest daughter Xiao Yuqi is a natural academic master. She has been quiet and obedient since she was a child. She won the Governor General\’s Award of Canada at the age of 16 and was admitted to Harvard University in advance with excellent results. Later, she started a successful business and became the youngest Asian female CEO in the United States; but the second son Xiao Yuyang He is not so worry-free, and has never used his \”smartness\” in the right way since he was a child: When he is asked to practice piano, he can always wear down his mother\’s patience with \”no practice, less practice, and random practice\”; when it comes to learning, he is always lazy. He would never let go of an opportunity; he had an eccentric personality, loved to cry and make trouble, and could always come up with ideas to solve problems for his mother;… However, in the end, he also successfully passed Harvard and achieved a top career. Many people ask, how can two children with different personalities and talents be taught equally well and outstandingly? This mother\’s response was unexpected: Sometimes we should not be too open-minded when educating our children. The child\’s lack of interest in reading and learning is just an excuse. If parents let it go, it will harm the child. After all, there are only a handful of naturally self-aware academics. For most children like Yu Jinguo’s youngest son, self-discipline is a scarce commodity. But because of his mother\’s advice, when he didn\’t want to study, in order to supervise him, he used the dining table as a desk and watched him do his homework while cooking; when he didn\’t want to practice, he kept \”coercing and tempting\”: if he didn\’t practice, You can\’t go out to play; if you practice less, you will reduce the time for cartoons; if you practice well, you will increase entertainment activities. That\’s why he became what he is today. Expecting children to be self-conscious is the most powerless education; expecting children to fall in love with learning is the most difficult wish to realize. On the road of education, parents are the ones who should not be lazy, and children are the ones who should not be lethargic. The biggest mortal enemy of education is \”if a child doesn\’t like it, don\’t force it.\” I have seen such a story. One day, a child said to his father: \”Dad, dancing is too tiring. I don\’t want to learn. I want to learn singing.\” The father turned around and agreed: \”Okay, then learn what you like.\” A month later, the child said again : \”Singing is too difficult, my voice is hoarse, and I still can\’t sing well. I want to go out and play.\” The father agreed again, thinking that the child was still young, so don\’t force him if he doesn\’t like it. Ten years later, when he needed to perform on stage, he couldn\’t come up with a decent show, so he resented his parents for not cultivating a hobby for him since childhood. The father was very aggrieved: \”You didn\’t want to go at the beginning. How can you blame us for not training you?\” The child\’s answer was also very heartbreaking: \”I am young and not sensible, so are you? You can\’t force me to do it.\” Right?\” There is a saying that makes sense: liking is human instinct, as is liking the new and hating the old, but instinct is not a skill. If parents blindly indulge their children\’s \”likes\” and follow instincts in everything, they will undoubtedly lay landmines in their children\’s growth, and the final result will definitely end in regret. The success of top academics and the formation of excellence is not because of love, but persistence, and even more because of their behind-the-scenesI have a pair of cruel parents. The reality is so cruel, if there is no effort, there will be no fruits. Because of a cruel mother, Jay Chou, the king of singing, was born; because of a cruel father, he became the pianist Lang Lang he is now; and because of his parents\’ cruel and strict nature, he was able to see the \”national goddess\” who is elegant in conversation and knowledgeable. Dong Qing. Education itself is an anti-human thing. Don\’t wait until your child misses an opportunity and asks you \”Why didn\’t you force me earlier?\” before you start to regret your original freedom and laissez-faire. As a parent, what you should do is not to indulge your children\’s instincts, but to think about how to transform your children\’s \”like\” instinct into \”making a living\” skills, so that they can spend their lives happily and smoothly. No outstanding child grows up in the care of his parents. Nowadays, many parents strongly advocate \”free-range education\” and hope to show their openness and tolerance in the family. However, being open-minded without knowing what is going on will only encourage children\’s avoidance mentality. They will avoid going to school when they are young and avoid life when they grow up. There is a topic on Zhihu: What will happen to the children who grow up in free-range families? There is a story that is very sad: When I was a child, I felt that my childhood was very happy, and my parents never cared about me. I don’t have to do my homework if I don’t want to; I don’t have to read if I don’t want to; I don’t have to read a book if I don’t want to; if I’m late for the exam at the parent-teacher conference, my parents won’t bother me when they come back; even if I get home at 11 o’clock in the evening, no one will take care of me. Later, one day I didn’t want to go to school anymore, and my parents respected me. They just said I didn’t want to go to school, and nothing else. However, when she entered the society, she suddenly discovered that without academic qualifications and skills, it was really difficult to move forward. She could only be at the bottom and do the most menial jobs. Now I am in a state of confusion every day, wasting the rest of my life. Every outstanding child does not fall from the sky. There must be a pair of \”tiger father and wolf mother\” behind him who are constantly pushing him. Just like the father of Yi Ge, a doctor from Peking University, who also faced such a child, his father was obviously different. In junior high school, Yi Ge became obsessed with online games, and his grades fell to the bottom, and he even got tired of studying. But the father did not give up or let go, and started a series of \”hard-core operations\”: first, the whole family was cut off from the Internet and power, then he supervised and accompanied him throughout the process, and finally started practicing on himself to set a good example for his children. Just imagine, if his father had let him go, what kind of situation would he have been in, and what kind of life would he have faced? There is a saying that goes well: All gifts given by fate have a price secretly marked on them. On the road of education, strictness is love and looseness is harm. \”Laissez-faire\” without asking questions will not be able to teach outstanding children; \”laissez-faire\” with laziness and laziness will not be able to raise outstanding offspring. Every bit of happiness and freedom you give your children now is a poison in their growth, and will inevitably lead to a lifetime of humility and mediocrity. Educating children and not giving in easily is for the better growth of the children. Not letting things go is the most basic training as a parent. Education cannot be repeated, so parents are asked to be hands-on with their children. The People\’s Daily once published a timetable, which made countless parents cry: the companionship you give your children has a \”time limit\”. If you miss the validity period, the education cannot be repeated. However, every time we talk about educating children, there are always parentsRetort: ​​\”I have to make money to support my family, so how can I have time to take care of my children?\” However, if your children are not well educated, what\’s the use of making money and money? Just like Dong Qing said: \”When educating your children, you choose to make money and not discipline your children. When your children grow up, the money you have worked hard to earn throughout your life will not be worth what they lose in one year.\” Education Children are your life\’s work. If your children are well educated, you are making money, and this is an investment that is guaranteed to make money throughout your life. The smarter parents are, the more they know how to personally take part in their children\’s education and help their children take every step down-to-earth. Marie Curie was busy with scientific research and under great pressure, but for the sake of her daughter, she could still set up a \”children\’s study class\” and educate herself; her son could not accept the school\’s education model and did not want to go to school. Zheng Yuanjie could also create an \”exclusive private school\” for his son. Compile teaching materials and design courses. It is precisely because of their parents\’ persistence that one of Marie Curie\’s two daughters won the \”Nobel Prize in Chemistry\” and the other became a well-known writer. Zheng Yuanjie\’s son also continued his studies and became an animation director and entrepreneur. Life is like an exam. Parents are their children’s teachers who never retire. Without the help and guidance of teachers, it is impossible for children to pass on their own. No matter what era, no matter the gap between rich and poor, no matter what the policies are, raising children is always a top priority for a family. There are some things that others cannot do for you, and there are some things that parents must say. We only have one chance to educate our children, and it is only valid for ten years. If you are lazy now, it will be an irreparable regret in the future. You must not be \”afraid of trouble\” in education. Once you are afraid, your child\’s growth will be reduced. Don’t wait until your children grow up and let society educate us hard. By then it will be too late. \”Tsinghua University Scholars Educate Their Children\” writes: Parents should understand that children lack self-control when they are young. It is normal to be inactive when it comes to difficult things such as learning, but it is abnormal to be active. Because \”being tired of learning\” is more in line with children\’s nature than \”loving learning\”. But, as parents, should we \”obey\” our children\’s nature? Obviously not! Children are still young and do not understand so many principles. They only have immediate happiness and no long-term vision. I can only persist for a while, I can\’t continue to focus, and I don\’t have strong perseverance and self-control to restrain myself. But parents have to have all this. If even we give our children back at this time, what motivation will our children have to persevere? A child\’s excellence does not depend on his talent, but on having someone who can silently hold him back when he indulges. And if we keep our children in a fairy tale world and grow up in an environment without any coercion, how will they withstand the storm in the future? There is a saying that goes well: Parental discipline is the foundation, and children’s self-awareness and self-discipline is the goal. If you lay a solid foundation, you will not be afraid of the earth shaking. Sometimes, we need appropriate coercion and strict discipline. This is not oppression, but a shot of \”stimulant\” when his will is weak to help him overcome difficulties and make him stronger. On the road of education, expecting children to be conscious and self-disciplined is the most ridiculous \”lie\”, and letting children go unchecked is the laziest behavior. Always remember: naughty kidThey are made by \”getting used to\”, good children are made by \”managing\”, and excellent children are made by \”accompanying\”. Give it a thumbs up and encourage all parents.