How to get children to take the initiative in doing homework

There are always endless news about parents causing troubles while accompanying their children to do homework. A few days ago, a Mr. Wu from Hangzhou was tutoring his primary school son in his homework. He talked about a question back and forth for half an hour, but his son still didn\’t understand it. After yelling several times, my son simply put down his pen and stopped writing. Mr. Wu couldn\’t bear it anymore and in a fit of anger, he hammered the table with his hands. His son stopped now. As a result, he hit his right hand and fractured his metacarpal bone, which required hospitalization. Mr. Wu, who was in the hospital, muttered: \”Sometimes I really can\’t help it. Fortunately, the punch was on the table. If it had hit the child, the trouble would have been big.\” Someone on the Internet once concluded that the biggest killer of parent-child relationships is Accompany your children to do their homework. Children show various problems, driving batches of parents \”crazy\”. Some parents tie themselves up before tutoring homework to prevent their tempers from getting out of control; there is a parent who slaps his child until his eardrum is perforated… Why is it so difficult to accompany your child to do homework? Today, we will talk about this topic to help parents master the correct way to accompany homework, so that children can learn to do homework proactively and consciously. First of all, we have to figure out, is it necessary for parents to accompany their children to do homework? Many people think that parents didn’t care about homework when we went to school in the past, which was not a good thing. Times have changed. Nowadays, there are higher requirements for children in all aspects of learning, and children face more temptations. In the primary school stage, especially those who have just entered primary school and are in the first and second grades, they may not yet understand what learning is all about. They have poor self-control ability and need the supervision and guidance of parents and teachers. It is unrealistic to expect children to know how to complete homework consciously from the beginning. \”Heteronomy\” from parents is essential. Secondly, parents need to understand what is the purpose of accompanying students with homework? Some parents just accompany their children to complete the day\’s homework, trying to make no mistakes and write well. However, doing this alone is not enough. In primary school, the main purpose for parents to accompany their children with homework is to help their children develop good study habits and to train their children to complete homework independently and manage themselves. To put it simply, \”accompanying more\” in primary school is to \”accompany less\” in junior high school, and gradually \”not accompanying\” at all. Having clarified these two issues, let’s talk about methods. Objectively speaking, it is a good thing to accompany children to do homework. Parents can understand their children\’s learning situation, and children can establish good study habits. This process also strengthens communication and cooperation between parents and children. However, many parents\’ inappropriate ways of \”accompanying\” have caused a series of emotional problems and parent-child conflicts, making homework a headache for both parents and children. Wrong approach 1: Lack of patience and emotional instability. Some parents are willing to accompany their children to do homework, but lack the most important quality – patience. They can easily get emotional and lose their temper with their children. Seeing children dilly-dallying, writing erratically, writing wrong questions, getting angry after being taught for a long time, and yelling at the children, the result is often a lose-lose situation: the parents are extremely angry, and the children cry non-stop. There are two fundamental reasons why parents are prone to “getting ahead”: (1) They have unrealistically high expectations for their children and believe that children should do it right and learn it as soon as they are taught; (2) They are used to using adult methodsThey look at the problem with higher-order thinking and think that the child\’s homework is very simple. Therefore, when the child does the wrong question and does not understand it, he feels that the child is too stupid. This is clearly not the case. When children first come into contact with a certain knowledge point, they need to practice it many times before they can master it. Their cognition and thinking are not as mature and flexible as adults. Therefore, parents need to adjust their cognition to the same level as their children. At this time, without those things that adults should take for granted, parents are no longer impatient, have a more stable mentality, and start from the most basic knowledge to explain problems to their children bit by bit. Rough yelling and criticism will only make the effectiveness of homework assignments worse. Children\’s attention will be focused on their parents\’ excited emotions, and they are afraid of being scolded. They will be under great psychological pressure and find it difficult to devote themselves to homework. When homework becomes a painful task, how can children be proactive? When doing homework with your children, you should have a good parent-child relationship as the premise, pay attention to your tone and attitude, try to be as calm as possible, and communicate well with your children. Wrong approach 2: Over-intervention, watching the children do their homework like a supervisor. Another common mistake is that parents get too involved and take the responsibilities that belong to their children on themselves. Specific manifestations include: supervising children like a supervisor, pointing out any problems in a hurry; arranging all aspects of children\’s homework according to their own ideas, not giving children a chance to make decisions; showing more concern about homework than children, urging and coaxing children Write, but the children themselves don\’t care… This kind of accompanying method often leads to the children\’s lack of responsibility for homework and study. The parents are exhausted, but the children become more and more lazy and rely on the parents for everything. Parents need to make it clear that their children are the first person responsible for homework, and parents\’ companionship is only an aid. They should control their participation and not interfere too much. For example, when a child is dawdling, he or she can be reminded appropriately, but the consequences of failing to complete the homework must be borne by the child. The more times the child does it, the more he or she will know how to adjust his or her behavior. In addition, staring at children as they write like a supervisor and interrupting them at every turn is not conducive to the development of children\’s concentration and can also cause stress to children. Parents can do their own thing on the side, read and work quietly, and then check the children together after they have finished, or wait for the children to ask for help before providing help. If you want your children to have a correct attitude and be proactive in completing their homework, parents can start from the following four points: (1) Set the rules early and strictly implement them. From the beginning of first grade, parents should set clear rules with their children and implement them according to the rules. It is much more effective than earnest preaching and nagging. If you persist for a long time, children will develop habits and experience the high efficiency brought by good habits, which is more conducive to children\’s persistence. In the end, there is no need to persist, and it will be internalized into children\’s excellent learning qualities and abilities. The more important rules are: ① Before doing homework, make preparations. Some children are busy drinking water and going to the toilet in the middle of doing homework, which greatly affects their efficiency. Parents can make an agreement with their children that when they come home from school every day, they should do what they need to do first, such as drinking water, eating something to fill their stomachs, going to the toilet, etc., and then start doing homework with peace of mind. ② writeBefore homework, make a plan list, which subject to do first, and which subject to do last. Complete it in an orderly manner, which can also improve efficiency. ③ Before doing your homework, take some time to review it and check it over after you finish your homework. Reviewing what you have learned today before doing homework will strengthen your child\’s memory of the knowledge points, help them complete their homework smoothly and efficiently, and improve their interest in learning and self-confidence. Checking after completing homework is a process of self-correction for children and a process of rethinking. It can cultivate children\’s practical and careful learning qualities and consolidate learning results. ④ Do not leave your seat casually when doing homework, and do not play with mobile phones or toys. ⑤ Allocate time according to the workload and complete the work within a certain time. In order to improve children\’s homework efficiency and reduce procrastination, it is also important to guide children to plan their time. You can let your children put an alarm clock in front of their desk, estimate the completion time of each homework in advance, and complete it within the specified time. ⑥ Write carefully, keep the roll surface clean, and use less or no rubber or tape. Parents can formulate the above rules according to the actual situation of their children. For example, over a period of time, they can select one or several rules to focus on improving a certain ability of their children. (2) Pay attention to observing children and accompany them to do homework. One of the important tasks of parents is to observe their children to see where they have shortcomings and bad habits, so as to help them improve in a timely manner. These are much more important than correcting children\’s wrong questions and allowing children to score more points. For example, there are several common problems among children: poor organization, no planning for homework, random writing in no order, tendency to use erasers, lack of concentration, and small movements. If you find that a child has one or more problems, you will find a solution in time, prescribe the right medicine, and pass Establish rules, teach children the correct approach, slowly guide them to make corrections, and establish good study habits. As for the problem of poor organization, parents can teach their children to think about the total number of homework assignments before writing them, list them down, and then determine the order according to the approximate time required and difficulty level, and then complete them one by one according to the order. How can I write my homework quickly? Efficient homework lessons for children aged 5 to 12, all 12 MP4 lessons. The more good habits are established, the less difficult and boring homework will be for children, and parents will have to do less and less. (3) Properly give positive feedback to children. When accompanying children to do their homework, you should try your best to create a positive and pleasant experience for your children. Only when children feel good about things, will they be more enthusiastic and do better. Therefore, parents should pay more attention to their children\’s progress bit by bit, recognize what their children have done well, and give them positive feedback. For example, parents have always asked their children to write neatly. The child\’s performance was not so good before, but this time he writes very well. At this time, you can praise the child: \”Mom, I saw that your handwriting was very good this time. It can be seen that you are very serious and did a good job.\” The child will improve his self-confidence and improve his learning from the parents\’ feedback. interest, forming a positive cycle. According to this principle, parents should avoid destructive criticism of their children, encourage them more and punish them less. (4) Avoid arrogance and control, and give autonomy to your children while spending time with themDuring the process, parents must always keep in mind that the company they provide now is for the purpose of not accompanying them in the future. The ultimate goal is for the children to be able to complete their homework independently and learn to manage themselves. Therefore, parents should exercise caution, avoid interfering too much, and give autonomy to their children. For example: when you come home from school every day, you can first ask your children what homework they have? How long does each assignment take approximately? How to prepare? This is to help children learn to sort out and think. If there are no major problems, try to let the children complete their homework according to their own arrangements, and give them more opportunities to make choices and decisions. If something is inappropriate, parents will give their children appropriate reminders and suggestions. When checking your child\’s homework, if you find a problem, don\’t tell your child directly and let him find the error himself. I believe that by doing the above, parents can worry less and their children will be more conscious and efficient in doing homework.