How to become a top student with good grades

When my son was in the first grade of elementary school, one day he suddenly said to me: \”Mom, Wang xx in the class said that if he scores above 90 in math, he can get a set of Lego; if he scores above 95, he can go on a trip.\” . My deskmate Li xx said that if he gets full marks in English, he can play with his mobile phone for half an hour every day…\” I replied to him: \”Then, can you get these rewards?\” \”Yes.\” \”Then you need to get them. Do you have to get a certain score?\” \”No need.\” He smiled. I told him: \”The gift is out of need and care, not because of anything you have done. Moreover, the exam is your own business. Whether you do well or not is not my business. That\’s why I didn\’t punish or reward you based on your scores.\” You.\” Six years later, he graduated as the school\’s top graduate. Entering middle school, he was still what people call an \”academic master.\” Throughout the whole process, he never attended any cram school. He and I have never bargained or blushed because of learning. How can parents cultivate their children\’s initiative and raise a truly self-motivated academic? The following 8 points are based on my experience as a psychology practitioner and a mother. I hope they will be helpful to you. Don’t give up material rewards easily and give up the practice of “rewarding you 100 yuan if you score 100 points on the test”, because this will easily teach children: I study not out of curiosity and exploration, but to get rewards from my parents; learning is not my thing. , but to satisfy my parents’ expectations; learning is painful and requires external material inducements and compensation; my parents don’t believe that I can do well in my grades, so I have to ask for extra rewards. Over time, parents\’ rewards will stifle children\’s initiative. Children will lose their self-motivation when there are no rewards and rewards. How to do it better? I won\’t promise prizes in advance, but if the child feels happy after the exam, I will take the opportunity to respond: \”Wow, your hard work paid off. This is a day worth celebrating. Let\’s go have a big meal to celebrate.\” Give it a try!\” Rewards are different from celebrations; rewards are inducements beforehand. [Must-learn for ages 4 to 8] The 82-session MP4 celebration of Peking University Ba Primary School’s math calculation course focuses on the child’s current sense of achievement itself, which makes it easier to help children maintain their interest. Don\’t punish your children casually: \”You are so stupid! Why can\’t you learn!\” \”75 points? Don\’t expect me to take you out to play!\” Stop blaming and humiliating children like this. If you talk too much, children will only learn the concepts that \”reading is too scary\” and \”learning equals a threat\”. Many children also become habitual of procrastinating and avoiding academic challenges. Therefore, it is very important that even if you need to educate your child, you should do it when the child is not studying; when he is studying, you must not interfere with him (unless the child asks you for help). Only when a child is relaxed and feels that reading is safe can he truly enjoy learning from his heart. Of course, you can also ignore your child\’s \”problems\” and encourage them more, for example: \”You scored 75 points on the test, how did you learn the knowledge points that scored 75 points?\” \”You have more room for improvement than others. .\” \”You have a high accuracy rate in reading comprehension questions!\”\”Your rolled noodles are really clean…\” In this way, you can help your children build up their confidence bit by bit. Don\’t schedule too much time. A few years ago, I was a tutor, and I encountered such an interesting little thing: I The child I was tutoring was in fifth grade and would work until midnight every day. Later, his mother made an appointment with him. As long as he could finish his homework before 8 p.m., he could play computer games for half an hour. That day, the child was 7 I finished my homework after one o\’clock. His mother probably thought it was uneconomical to leave tutoring so early, so she pulled out another test paper and asked me to watch the child do it. The child\’s face was full of frustration, and then he started endless procrastination. Homework mode. Later, I found that many parents do this. They always schedule their children\’s time very full and cannot see their children playing idle. Reading and homework are like \”Xixi\” to children. \”Firth\’s Stone\” never stops. Faced with a task that can never be completed, the child\’s enthusiasm will be greatly dampened. Learning has simply become a waste of time, and it would be strange not to waste time. In a simple word, stay White time is very, very important. After agreeing on the study tasks and time, it is best for the child to freely manage the rest of the time. Do not artificially create the child\’s dislike of learning. Try to provide a step-by-step and stable life. In my consultation room, I have received many \”well-behaved\” children. \”Child\”. Their grades are usually good, but at a certain time, their grades suddenly dropped seriously and they couldn\’t concentrate in class. As soon as I understood it, it was probably during that time that the child\’s family had some problems. Maybe something happened at home. , or parents have serious and ongoing quarrels. When the steady rhythm of life is disrupted, the child\’s sense of security will be affected. And a child who is restless will find it difficult to concentrate on learning. So we say , it is really important to provide children with a step-by-step life. To understand it simply, it means that you should go to class, do your homework and do your homework. You should eat and eat, and you should play. The so-called study habits in the early stages are living habits. Therefore, please ensure that your children In life, there is always a part of content that is fixed. It is also important to ensure sleep time. Do not scold your children before going to bed, do not let your children cry, and do not do things that are too irritating to your children. Of course, the relationship between adults also needs to be stable , as harmonious as possible. A stable and harmonious life will first bring good emotions to children. Good emotions bring good concentration. If a family has various problems, the children will definitely not be able to concentrate on studying. This can also explain why A harmonious parent-child relationship is likely to produce students with excellent academic performance, while in problem families, there are many students with poor performance. Of course, being able to set goals for reading requires certain planning and goals, but many parents mistake \”wishes\” for \”goals.\” For example A 180-pound person who sets a goal of \”I want to lose weight to 90 pounds\” can only be regarded as more of a \”wishes.\” The wish is beautiful, but it is too difficult to achieve. It is easy to achieve halfway. Give up: Forget it, let it be your fate. Setting the goal \”I want to eat 8 cents full at every meal, exercise for 10 minutes every day, and drink 500ml of water\” is a specific goal, which makes people stick to it more.go. The same goes for learning. For a child who always scores 70 points in English exams, if you ask him to score 90 points, this is your wish and expectation. However, if you make an agreement with your child: \”Improve 5 points for each test, memorize 5 words every day, and read the text for 5 minutes every day.\” This is the goal. Only with such goals that are specific and easy to achieve can we truly achieve breakthroughs in English performance. There are ways to improve memory. Between top students and poor students, the difference is not IQ, but memory. In our brain, the thing that controls memory is called the hippocampus. Therefore, if you want to improve your learning ability, you must work hard on the hippocampus. 1. Create happiness. Dopamine is secreted when people are happy. This substance stimulates the hippocampus, making it have stronger memory and learn more efficiently. 2. Make good use of memory rules. What you learned today will be reviewed again in 24 hours, 48 ​​hours, and a week later. When a piece of information comes again and again, the hippocampus thinks it is important, and the information will be retained. This is the importance of review. Learning is not about reading a certain piece of information over and over again, but rather putting it aside after reading it and reading it again after one day, two days, a week, or a month. 3. Get out of your comfort zone. for example. When reading, write notes on the book and highlight key points with a highlighter. From a brain science perspective, the brain is not interested in this easy repetition. If you put down the book, you may soon forget it. Another way: after reading a book, put it down. The next day, recall the content of this book and draw a detailed mind map. The knowledge that the brain obtains after struggling with memories and thinking is what we learn. From this perspective, doing questions and tests is also beneficial. It requires thinking and challenges the brain’s comfort zone. After moderate stress and struggle, the brain retains knowledge more firmly. Pay attention to the output of learned knowledge. Through output, it can be retained more deeply. What is output? It’s about interpreting what you’ve learned again. Method 1: Make it. Montessori has a famous saying: \”What I have heard may be forgotten; what I have seen may not be remembered. Once I have done it, I understand it.\” Especially in mathematics, physics and chemistry, many of them can be operated by hand. Children who are hands-on have more flexible minds. Method 2: Say it. Instead of watching your children doing homework and taking the opportunity to explain knowledge to them, it is better to use your free time to let your children teach you. \”How did you learn this question? Can you tell me about it?\” \”I am very interested in this aspect of history, but I don\’t understand it. I would like to ask you…\” Let children become little teachers who can talk about questions, and knowledge will Stronger and more fun to learn. Method 3: Write it out. After reading an article, write it out after a while. This is how Franklin\’s writing journey began. He read an article and then wrote that article from memory. Repeatedly. Because the brain pays more attention to output. After providing resources and support, what can parents do for their children? Not to push the child, but to provide the child with resources and support as much as possible. For example, insist on parent-child reading and try to broaden the scope of reading; accompany your children to visit various museums and interesting exhibitions, and participate in more interesting social practice activities to broaden their horizons and increase their knowledge. When my son was youngWhen he was young, what I often took him to play were various interesting scientific experiments and games. Children know their stuff. Provide children with high-quality learning and exploration resources, and children are more likely to be interested. Of course, classroom knowledge is still important. What should I do if my children do not have a solid grasp of classroom knowledge if they do not attend cram schools after double reduction? The country has actually prepared resources for everyone. Please remember the following \”National Smart Education Platform for Primary and Secondary Schools\”: (This platform was originally called \”National Primary and Secondary School Network Cloud Platform\” and started to be upgraded on March 1, adding more rich resources.) This is a project led by the Ministry of Education online learning platform. It collects curriculum resources for all grades and major subjects of primary school, junior high school, and high school. It is very good for children to review, preview, and check for omissions. There are also a wealth of mental health lectures, educational films, documentaries, as well as various science and education supplementary e-books, and special knowledge on family education. No matter how old your children are, they can all use it. It is strongly recommended to forward and collect it directly. Finally, I want to say that becoming a top student is certainly not the end of life. A complete set of 42 writing techniques for academic masters, which are indispensable for high-scoring compositions. The important thing is that our attitude determines how far our children can go in life. Click like and believe in your children. The power of belief can help your children survive the long years.