What is the most important thing in the parent-child relationship?

One day I saw my eldest son telling his good friend about something very urgently, but the other person was actually not interested and was just playing with himself, while my eldest son was still chasing after the other person and eagerly wanted to do that. Finished talking about this matter. At that moment I suddenly remembered that this scene often happened between her and me. When she talks to me, I am often absent-minded or busy with other things. Sometimes I will tell her directly, \”You can talk to me later, I am busy,\” and then the child walks away very disappointed. At this moment, a lot of things are aroused in my heart. I ask myself, \”What would happen if I stopped what I was doing at that moment? The worst result is that the sky will not fall, so after that, I will Deliberately practice stopping what you were doing before that you thought was more important and listen to your children. Let your children feel the feeling of being listened to carefully. I am also very lucky that my children did not close themselves off because of my countless rejections and countless neglects. , but perseveringly continue to try to express myself with the people closest to me and the people I like the most. Of course, many times I will repeat the previous pattern of thinking things are more important, but I will look back halfway and stop to ask my children what you just said. , again, fortunately, she is willing to continue talking. These changes on my part have gradually allowed her to become more able to express her inner thoughts that are different from those of us adults. She will even argue with us and make her father cry. After that, she could express her inner grievances, injuries, and dissatisfaction to her father in a clear and coherent manner while crying, and by the way, she also \”taught\” his father how to manage his children. This gave his father the opportunity to understand how he used to lose his temper to discipline his children, and to provide guidance to his children. What came was not what he wanted. In the past, she was a good girl many times. She did not dare to say no, did not dare to cry, and only dared to sulk. Children are prone to making mistakes, and so are parents. We often hope that our children can Reflection, in fact, parents’ reflection is more important. Because children first learn how to behave and do things from their parents. From the relationship with their parents, they learn how to survive and how to interact with others to survive. A good family tradition and a good family Training stories to achieve good children\’s family parent-child interaction 100-day plan pdf In the past year or so, I have been studying related theories of relationships, including the theory of attachment. Share a little bit of my own understanding. Let me briefly explain attachment. In layman\’s terms, it is a very, very Intimate and important relationships, such as the relationship with our main caregivers after we are born, the relationship with our lovers and lovers after we grow up, and the relationship with our children after giving birth. These A good quality relationship is called secure attachment, and a bad one is called insecure attachment (including preoccupied attachment, avoidant attachment, and disorganized attachment). People who grow up in secure attachment relationships will become secure people. , and vice versa. Secure people have relatively better integration of cognition, emotion, and volitional behavior. They know what they want, can directly express their thoughts, emotions, and needs, and strive to pursue what they really want. , generally feel that the world is safe, others are trustworthy, and oneself are valuable. People with insecure attachment are relatively poorly integrated in this area and are used to adoptingUsing some \”duplicity\” defense methods to protect yourself is not easy for others to understand, and you often fall into a self-defeating mode. For example, focused people are obviously afraid of relationships and fear of being rejected and abandoned by others. They are very anxious in relationships, but they are very dependent on relationships and cannot live without relationships. They are often trapped in their anxiety about relationships and do not believe that they are capable. Go get what you want. Avoidant people seem to be emotionless and super rational, but in fact they are hurt by \”emotion\” and dare not feel \”emotion\” anymore. They feel a bit like sour grapes. This kind of people are often ignored by their parents at the earliest stage, so they have learned a way to protect themselves: living super-rationally, emotions are not important, handling things is important, they can only rely on themselves for everything, and cannot rely on others.