What to do if a 13-year-old girl is particularly rebellious? Read this father’s letter to his adolescent daughter

Dear daughter: Listening to you talking about all the big and small worries in study and life last night, Dad felt really sour and bitter. In my memory, you are still the naughty little naughty person who loves to laugh and make trouble. Scientific parenting books recommend 100 details on how to raise a great boy pdf. From some point on, you have a lot of little emotions of your own. I see you holding your chin in a daze, being frustrated with your bad grades, crying and laughing at the joys and sorrows of your friends, and often showing off all kinds of little rebellions. Dad knows that you have entered the most important period of your life. Looking back is the carefree time that slipped away quietly; looking forward is the confused yet fresh and exciting journey of youth. Here, Dad would like to tell you a few words from the bottom of his heart. I hope that when you encounter problems, these can help you see through the clouds and see the moon, and create a world of your own. 01 Regarding setbacks, painful experiences will make you stronger. You once asked me: \”Why is life so hard?\” At that time, you were finally selected by the teacher to be the lead dancer in the school performance. But for several days in a row, you couldn\’t do an action well, and the teacher replaced you. You feel sad and depressed and want to give up dancing. At that time, your father did not reason with you, but gave you an experiment. A piece of white paper cannot stand upright, nor can it bear much weight when laid flat on a cup. But fold it, not only can it stand up, but it can also withstand a lot of pressure. In fact, the process of paper folding is just like people suffering blows. Only after experiencing setbacks will one become stronger. Just like you later, you not only persisted, but also worked harder, so you went from the small stage in school to the big stage in the city. Every setback is a baptism in life. Daughter, my father hopes that you can remember that no matter how many winds and rains you encounter or how many difficulties you encounter, don’t be discouraged, let alone give up, and please keep walking with your head held high. How much pain you can endure now will determine how much success you deserve in the future. 02 Regarding backing, no matter what time, the most secure backing is yourself. Two days ago, my mother said that she would teach you how to cook and cultivate your ability to make a living. You were lying on the sofa, looking disapproving, and said, \”It\’s okay if mom knows how to do it. Anyway, I won\’t go to work outside the country, so I can go home and eat every day.\” Naturally, your parents are willing to be your lifelong support, but But your parents don\’t want you to develop a mentality of relying on others for everything. In daily life, if you are used to calling daddy or mommy for the smallest things, then when will you develop the ability to think and act on your own? Just like those little birds standing in the trees, they never seem to be afraid of the branches being broken. In fact, it is not that the birds believe in the branches, but because they have wings that can fly on their own. So you have to remember to be a tree, not a vine; you have to be able to do it yourself, rather than relying on others. Only by living as your own backer can you gain confidence, build up your self-confidence, and live a strong life. 03 Regarding beauty, appearance is only temporary, but inner beauty is long-lasting. Daughter, my father noticed that you go out later and later during this period, and you always spend a long time in front of the mirror every morning. I don’t know when, your desk turned into a dressing table, filled with bottles and cans, and you likeThe classics I read in my hands also turned into makeup books. It is normal for children in adolescence to start paying attention to their appearance and self-image, and gradually become obsessed with beauty. But Dad wants to tell you: no matter how good your makeup is, others will only look at you one more time; if you read beautifully, others will think highly of you throughout your life. Knowledge is a person\’s best cosmetics. Broad knowledge can make you more confident; rich experience can make you more outstanding; accumulation of culture can make you stand out from the crowd. True beauty is never external, but the temperament and accomplishments reflected in poetry and books. Therefore, Dad hopes that you will read more, read more good books, decorate yourself with knowledge, fill yourself up, and bloom your unique charm. 04 Regarding hard work, don’t look down on every little persistence. In Sichuan, there is a kind of bamboo called \”ghost bamboo\”. In the first five years of its growth, no new bamboo can be seen at all. But in the 6th year, after a rain, you will see a lot of bamboo shoots sprouting around. After that, this kind of bamboo will grow rapidly, one type every day, and it will grow into a large bamboo forest in half a year. Why do these bamboos grow like crazy in the sixth year? This is because in the first five years of its growth, this kind of bamboo takes root downwards, extending its roots several meters away. This stable and huge root system not only allows the bamboo to absorb sufficient nutrients in its future growth, but also allows it to stand firm despite wind and rain. So, daughter, don’t think that you are clocking in to study, read, practice calligraphy, and run every day. You are irritated and repetitive. These little things that you don’t look down on will one day bring you a qualitative transformation. There is no such thing as a free hardship or a free road in this world. Sweat will never let you down. Only by being able to endure your temper and guard your space can you accumulate great achievements and achieve amazing results. In life, the harder you work, the luckier you will be. 05 Regarding bullying, you must have an upbringing that does not hurt others, and you must have an aura that does not allow you to be bullied. I still remember that when I took you to learn Sanda, my mother disagreed ten thousand times. \”Girls are either practicing dancing or piano, how can they fight and fight?\” \”Besides, my daughter is protected by us now, and she will have a boyfriend and husband to protect her when she grows up, so what do you worry about?\” But daughter, do you know? This society will never pay more attention to you just because you are a girl. On the contrary, the living space of girls is more complicated and full of crises. Because it is human nature to bully the weak and fear the strong, a person\’s emotions and malice are often only vented on the weak. If you are a soft persimmon, then everyone can pinch you. But if you have thorns, no one will dare to bully and hurt you easily. Dad lets you practice Sanda, firstly, hoping to strengthen your body, and secondly, to strengthen your character and give you the confidence and courage to fight for yourself. Only a girl with her own edge and wildness can live her own wanton life. 06 Regarding evaluation, don’t care too much about other people’s opinions, just be yourself. We once watched a video of Dong Yuhui together. He picked up a sausage and asked everyone, from your point of view, what shape is this? In front of the camera, what we see is an irregular rectangle. Teacher Pengpeng standing next to him said that the piece of black wheat on his body formed an exclamation mark. But from Dong Yuhui’s perspectiveCome on, it\’s round. He said meaningfully: Let\’s stop arguing with others. We have different positions and naturally see different things. We are both right. Why should I convince you, and why should you convince me. The same goes for grilled sausages, and the same goes for being a human being. In our lives, it is inevitable that there will be different voices, questioning, denying, criticizing, and ridiculing. If we get entangled in all kinds of tangles and sink into negative emotions because of one or two words from others, we will only consume ourselves. Yang Jiang said that in the world of crows, swans are also guilty. If your thoughts are not on the same level, just respect them; if your three views are not on the same level, just smile. Only by not living in other people\’s words and being firm in yourself can you live your own life well. 07 Regarding making friends, friends are not maintained but attracted. Dad knows that you are a child who cares about your friends and values ​​friendship. On weekdays, you always work so hard to maintain every relationship, for fear that others will not like you. But dad wants to tell you a heart-wrenching truth: Friendships in school days are often too thin and will fall apart with just a gentle breeze. Just like now, you have lost contact with many friends from elementary school. There is no need to be sad if you are close or distant. Because true friends are never maintained, but attracted. Only when people have the same outlook, have similar aspirations, and have similar temperaments can we get along comfortably and go a long way. Therefore, Dad hopes that you will use the time you spend protecting your friends to improve and strengthen yourself. If you bloom, butterflies will come. 08 Regarding dealing with things, as long as you can still laugh, don’t face it with tears. Psychologist James Laird conducted an experiment in which volunteers were divided into two groups. One group was asked to frown when exposed to electrodes, and the other group was asked to smile. The results showed that people who frowned only felt angry, but people who smiled felt happy, and this state of mind can last for a period of time. This is because whenever we smile, nerves and muscles send messages that excite the pleasure centers of the brain. Daughter, in this life, things will be unsatisfactory nine times out of ten. Your mentality in dealing with things often determines the state of your life. If you blindly fall into troubles, pessimism will be like a heavy shackles, trapping you tightly in the shadow of frustration. But if you try to raise the corners of your mouth and keep smiling, optimism will be like a ray of warm sunshine, helping you drive away all the anger and unhappiness. So, even if life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, you have to find one reason to laugh at it. Let optimism become a normal state, and the warmth and good luck in life will definitely favor you. 09 Writer Wang Shuo once wrote this passage to his daughter: You must be rich in content to get rid of superficial similarities; making soup is more important than writing poetry, your own craftsmanship is more important than men, and having a strong heart is more important than anything else. This is what Dad wants to say to you. Life is a long road, I hope you have a bright light in your heart and move forward without fear. May you live up to your time, read more, think more, and live a passionate life. Where you can see when you turn around, your parents will always open their arms to you. love you forever daddy