Is it okay to be impatient with children and prone to temper tantrums and yelling?

Someone said: \”Raising children and fishing are the two most patient activities in the world.\” A mother talked about such a small incident: The family was going to drive out for a walk on Saturday. Before going out, she was like a spinning top. , while hurriedly preparing things, while urging the children hurriedly. At this time, her daughter, who was in first grade, said to her: \”Why are you always so anxious? We went out to play, but you didn\’t look happy at all.\” After hearing this, her mother felt as if she had just woken up from a dream. The child\’s words reminded her that she always seemed to be rushing the family, rarely waiting patiently, and sometimes even with dissatisfaction. Being patient with children has become a luxury for many families. In modern life, everyone is under great pressure, especially young parents. Busy with work, busy with family chores, busy taking care of young children, and children always seem to \”test\” the bottom line, making us gradually lose our \”good temper\”: when you are so busy, you turn around and see milk spilled all over the floor; When you are in a hurry to go out, your child is still slowly getting dressed and tying his shoes; when you have high hopes for your child, but he comes back with a failed test paper… These moments can easily make us hysterical. Raising a child is the greatest test of patience. But in education, I am afraid that parents will not be patient. Without patience, there is no good parent-child relationship. A mother once said to me: \”I am very patient with my friends and colleagues, but I don\’t know why I can\’t help being harsh and scolding my son in front of him.\” One night, She had just finished mopping the floor and returned to the living room to find that her 5-year-old son had knocked the paint onto the floor again. Seeing that the floor that had just been mopped was about to be cleaned again, she yelled angrily at her child: \”I\’m so annoyed, what do you think you\’re good for!\” The child stood still, obviously frightened by her mother\’s roar. , within a few seconds, I started crying. Looking at the child\’s fearful eyes, she was filled with regret. Situations like this had happened many times. She vaguely knew that this was not good for her children, but she just couldn\’t change it. Gradually, the child became particularly afraid of her, and a gap formed between parent and child. Impatient parents will immediately draw criticism as long as their children make mistakes or get into trouble. They rarely ask about the ins and outs of things. Children often feel trembling and treading on thin ice around such parents. In a situation like this, it is not so much that the child is too difficult to raise, but that the parents themselves have too much pressure and pain, which will easily break out when the child does not cooperate. In other words, even though we are impatient, we always blame our children for being disobedient. Children are always sensitive to the emotional changes of adults. Children who have lived in the family environment for a long time will feel a strong \”sense of rejection\”, which forces children to face parent-child communication more negatively. Unknowingly, it hurts the close relationship between you and your child, and invisibly pushes your child further and further away. Impatientness can easily disrupt a child\’s growth rhythm. When children are 3 or 4 years old, they like to ask adults \”why\” endlessly. Sometimes they can ask more than 10 questions in a row at a time. Many parents\’ patience is slowly worn away by the series of \”attacks\” of problems. There is such a story:A child held up a snail and said to his mother: \”Mom, why can a snail still walk with a heavy shell on its back?\” The mother said, \”It\’s so dirty. Throw it away quickly!\” The child put down the snail with a disappointed look on his face. I quickly wiped his hands and heard the child ask again: \”Mom, why do snails always come out on rainy days?\” The mother was still angry: \”You don\’t care when it comes out. If you touch it again, it will bite you!\” When the child heard this, he curled his lips and stopped asking. The impatience of adults destroys the precious innocence of children. As children grow up, curiosity and desire to explore are valuable, proving that they begin to explore and discover the world around them on their own. It\’s a pity that nowadays adults move very fast and can\’t stand the dilly-dallying of children, so they can\’t help but urge and remind them constantly. In fact, raising an excellent child cannot be achieved overnight. It is a long-term, silent and big project that requires parents to water it with patience. I remember once I saw a mother taking her child to swim at the edge of the swimming pool. The child was very scared and hugged the swimming ring tightly on the shore, afraid to go into the water. The mother stood beside him, scolding and urging: \”Hurry up.\” Click on it, you are so slow in everything you do! Look at the child next to you!\” After saying that, he pushed the child impatiently. The shivering child by the swimming pool is particularly distressing. The development of each life has its own growth rules, growth rhythm, and development speed. Individual differences cause different children to react and handle the same thing differently. This is normal. The scary thing is that if parents ignore the child\’s own rhythm and interrupt him rudely, it may end up causing invisible harm to the child. Children are like flowers. The blooming of every flower is inseparable from silent hard work, and hard work is inevitably inseparable from patience. For example: cultivating children\’s expression skills requires patience. Not all children are familiar with each other. When you meet a stranger, you should give him time to get familiar with him, instead of scolding him for being ignorant. Developing children\’s ability to take care of themselves requires patience. You need to give him time to figure out his own method, rather than telling him the method directly or doing it for him. Protecting your child\’s curiosity requires patience. Children are so curious about everything around them. It is commendable to wait patiently for them to observe and discover without disturbing them. Children\’s growth requires patient waiting and no rush for quick success. Respecting the child\’s rhythm and allowing the child to \”take it slow\” tests the parents\’ confidence in the child. Please be more patient, after all, the world of children is much slower than that of adults. It is difficult for children who are impatient to be confident and independent. A long time ago, I saw a piece of news. My daughter was doing her homework until after nine o\’clock, and she was so anxious that she cried. Her mother kept encouraging her: \”Don\’t cry, don\’t cry, this will be finished soon!\” Her daughter was still very worried, crying and asked if she would write until dawn. Her mother did not laugh at her, but said to her very seriously. : \”I won\’t write until dawn. It\’s only after nine o\’clock now, and you can still sleep for seven or eight hours!\” My mother\’s patient persuasion is known as the mother with the best attitude in tutoring homework. On the other hand, impatient parents in life often ridicule and abuse unconsciously, causing stress to their children. childIf you get the question wrong, you will say: \”Don\’t you have any brains? You don\’t even think about it?\” \”You are really good! You can\’t even do something so simple?\” \”You have made the same mistake several times, are you a pig?\” Children\’s confidence , was slowly beaten down by his parents. Whether we accompany our children to do homework or do other things with them, when we decide to \”accompany\” our children, we should be mentally prepared that the child\’s performance may not be satisfactory, and accompany him through one small level after another. Instead of standing on the opposite side of your child, tell him: You can\’t do anything well. This kind of education that is eager for success has a devastating blow to children\’s self-confidence and independence. The way father Sam educates the two little boys Bentley and William in the Korean drama \”Superman Returns\” has been praised by many netizens. The most admirable thing about this is that this father is really patient. The eldest son, William, spilled flour all over the floor and played a flour game with his younger brother. Sam saw it and laughed bitterly, but he was not angry. He just urged his children to take part in cleaning up the mess afterwards. When Bentley, the second oldest child, just started learning to eat, he always grabbed food with his hands and even turned the food over. Sam would not stop him, but instead taught him step by step how to eat. Under this kind of education, the two children gradually developed their independence and confidence in doing things. In this world, almost all the enviable \”other people\’s children\” can be found, and they are all obtained by their parents\’ real efforts and tireless patience. I have seen too many parenting problems faced by parents, and I feel more and more the importance of patience in education. Impatient parents do not mean that their children are too difficult to control, but that they are too impatient. After the pressure of life, the inability to release negative emotions, excessive expectations for children, and anxiety, one can only see the surface of the problem and not see the true inner needs of the children, so they will educate them roughly when they make mistakes. Not only does it hurt the relationship between parents and children, but it also misses the opportunity to help the children grow. And being a patient parent means being willing to wait and give your child a little more time. All educational methods and concepts are based on \”patience\”. Children\’s growth cannot be rushed at all. CCTV recommends over 500 high-scoring excellent documentaries. Children watch the situation and the self-discipline addiction writer Philippa Perry once said: \”For parents, what is really important is to get along with their children in a relaxed and comfortable manner, so that the children feel Be safe and make your child feel like you want to be there for them. Our words also play a small role, but a bigger role is reflected in the warmth, touch, kindness and respect we show: respect the children\’s feelings, respect their Personality, perspective, and perspective on the world. In other words, we need to express our love for our children when they are awake, not just when they are quietly asleep.\” Our patience should not only be shown when they are asleep. It shows up when the child is well-behaved, but it should also show up when the child is misbehaving. If you have enough patience, your child will be good enough. If you like today\’s article, remember to click \”Like\” at the end of the article.