What are the skills and methods to cultivate children’s interpersonal communication?

Children have just started school and are transitioning from home to collective life. Many children will encounter some difficulties in social interaction. In life, many children will come over very sadly and ask their parents: \”Why is no one playing with me?\” \”Why is my classmate not inviting me to his birthday party?\” \”Why are my friends always ignoring me?\” Ignore?\” These children performed well academically, but they were repeatedly frustrated when it came to \”friends.\” These common troubles have a profound impact on children\’s study and life. Watching their children alone makes parents extremely worried. Interpersonal communication is a very important ability in children\’s growth. As child psychologist Piaget once said: \”Children have two worlds in childhood.\” One is the world where parents and children interact, and the other is the world of peers. world. Peer groups play an equally important or even more important role in children\’s development than parents.\” Decoding Adolescence free full text reading pdf+epub+azw3 As parents, how to reasonably guide children on the issue of making friends and improve children\’s social interaction ability? Today’s article may give you some inspiration. The various difficulties children encounter in interpersonal communication are often due to a lack of skills. When faced with a child who cannot make friends, other adults and even the parents themselves may interpret the child\’s behavior this way: She has a too stubborn temper and is always so stubborn. He is overbearing; he is too introverted and doesn\’t like to talk; he is too selfish and doesn\’t know how to share… We are especially prone to label our children and attribute their frustrations in making friends to his \”weird\” personality traits. I once saw a 5 or 6-year-old boy standing next to several children who were playing cards. No one paid attention to him at the time. He was a little embarrassed, his eyes were full of the desire to blend in and participate, and he kept hesitating, not daring to step forward. In the end, I could only run to my mother for help: \”Mom, I also want to play cards.\” When the mother heard this, she understood immediately. She took the child\’s hand and went to help him matchmaking, while scolding him: \”You are so timid. \”. In fact, the group of children playing were so involved in their own game that they did not intentionally ignore the little boy next to them who was eager to join in. The boy is not timid, he just doesn’t know how to do it, how to speak, how to take the initiative to join in… What these children who lack social skills need is specific guidance. For example, speaking skills; the ability to control emotions; how to deal with conflicts; recognizing other people\’s language and emotional signals, etc. If parents always stand up for their children, then the children will not have the opportunity to learn to start a new friendship through their own efforts, learn to face complex social situations, and the most frightening thing is that they will be trapped in the inherent prejudices of adults. No child is born a social master. The more clumsy and nervous our children are in social situations, the more patiently we need to guide them. Only when a child can do many things can he take the initiative to do them. Just like the little boy above, if he knows how to speak, how to integrate into a small group more quickly, and how to respond to others\’ acceptance or rejection, then he will notWould be so hesitant. We must pay attention to children\’s interpersonal interactions in a timely manner but avoid rough interference. In children\’s world, who they like to play with, who they don\’t like to play with, who is their best friend… these childish things in the eyes of parents are crucial to children. important. Children\’s friend circles are not always innocent and innocent. Sometimes they also contain jealousy, isolation, exclusion and bullying… Therefore, it is necessary for parents to pay more attention to their children\’s friendships, especially when children encounter setbacks in relationships. hour. This kind of attention is not a simple matter of pointing fingers or rough intervention. It tests the parents\’ patience and wisdom in handling problems. For example: ▷ When it comes to choosing who to be friends with, it is the child’s freedom and right. Sometimes the more you oppose, the more the child wants to establish a relationship with the other person; ▷ When you see the child showing withdrawal and restraint, adults will It is also easy to force children to take the initiative to make friends, or even accuse them of not being brave enough, making children fear social interaction; ▷ When dealing with social conflicts, if adults interfere too much, it will complicate the problem, and children will not be able to learn how to deal with conflicts. If you want your children to have good social skills, you must first have a calm mind. It takes a long time to cultivate every ability in your children\’s growth. The role of parents should be that of a calm bystander, letting their children experience the process of interpersonal communication on their own. So under what circumstances do parents need to intervene in time? Psychologist Li Xue mentioned in the article: \”If there is a conflict between children, and there is no pathological bullying of the younger, or the use of dangerous objects such as guns and knives during the conflict, in principle, parents should not intervene or judge. , unless the child actively asks the parent to intervene.\” Even if the child has an unhealthy peer relationship, we must gradually make the child realize that there are many problems hidden in this \”friendship\” that he values. First of all, understand why the child is friends with him, communicate with the child from the child\’s perspective, see the child\’s social difficulties, and \”prescribe the right medicine to the case.\” Secondly, don’t rush to criticize your children’s “bad friends” and guide your children to discover problems on their own. Don\’t underestimate your child\’s ability to distinguish right from wrong. When he notices something is wrong, he will choose to change it. Here are three suggestions for cultivating children’s interpersonal skills: Parents should lead by example and create more social opportunities for their children. Parents have a great influence on children’s social skills. There are some young parents around us who don’t like to socialize. In adult social situations, their behavior cannot be said to be generous. Naturally, their children have fewer opportunities to appear in social situations. They have witnessed how their parents treat others. The method had a subtle influence on him. When children have difficulty making friends, parents should ask themselves: Can I set a good example for my children by communicating with others? Do I often take the initiative to create social opportunities for my children? Have I provided my children with interpersonal communication methods and suggestions? If you really value cultivating your child\’s social skills, you need to create opportunities for him to socialize, consciously increase social activities, and exercise your child\’s ability to express himself. Interpersonal skills also need to be practiced, and parents should provide them with opportunities to practice. ▌Picture books and games are trainingA good carrier of social skills is found in many picture books, especially social picture books, which preset many social scenes. In these stories, children naturally understand some methods. For example, in the picture book \”Franklin the Bully\”, the little turtle Franklin often plays pinball, hopscotch and hide-and-seek with his friends. But Franklin was so domineering that even the little animals were reluctant to play with him. It wasn\’t until Franklin realized his mistake and bravely apologized that he found his little friend. Many plots in picture books are portrayals of children\’s lives. In this story, many children can see their own shadow. They will also quarrel with their peers because of the same situation, and understand that being overbearing is not welcome, and they should sincerely apologize after hurting a friend. Stories like this are a good helper in guiding children to socialize correctly. Seeing these cute little animals, children will be more willing to accept the social rules and etiquette conveyed in the book. Games have the same effect. Parents can role-play with their children and simulate social situations: simple greetings, conflicts, apologies and reconciliations. In the process, they can add some emergencies that children may encounter in interactions, and discuss countermeasures with their children. In this kind of game, children can learn how to get along with friends and not be at a loss when encountering the same problems in school. ▌Teach your child social rules and etiquette, at least don’t let him become the least popular child. There is a type of child who is often unpopular in society. They occasionally show \”barbaric\” behaviors, such as snatching, being aggressive, and swearing. , bully the small with the big and so on. We must stop children from being \”rough\” when making friends as soon as they appear. Children who abide by the rules are always popular with their peers. At the same time, we must consciously cultivate children\’s empathy, protect the precious qualities of innocence and kindness in children\’s nature, and guide children to think from their perspective. [Both Seasons] Doctor of Psychology Zhang Yijun\’s Children\’s Emotional Intelligence Class mp3, teaches you how to raise children with high emotional intelligence. For example, you can ask him: Would you be willing if other children took away your toys? If you fall, do you also want your friends to come and help you? If you don\’t play with that kid, he will be so lonely. This kind of perspective-taking practice will help children better understand how to think about problems from the perspective of others. If you like it, please click [Like], and I hope your children will gain healthy friendships as they grow up.