Reasons and solutions for children swearing

Many parents have this experience. When their children were well-behaved and cute, they began to say a few dirty words or cruel words out of nowhere when they could speak, such as: \”Bad mother, beat you to death\”, \”You are a bad guy!\” \”I hate you!\” \”Children after third grade will even say some dirty words about genitals, women, elders, etc.\” I believe it is difficult for many parents to stay calm when they hear their naughty children at home \”talking sweetly\”. We received a message like this in the background: \”My daughter is 7 years old this year. She has always been very well-behaved, but a few days ago when I sent her to an interest class, she blurted out a curse word on the way, which surprised me. I stopped her, and she said Don’t take it seriously.” Why does this happen? What should we parents do? Today we will briefly talk about this topic. PART.01Why do children say dirty words and harsh words? The nature of swearing between older children and younger children is different. We can roughly look at the age of 9, which is around the third grade. Children at different stages have different reasons for swearing. 1. Before the age of 9, children affected by the sensitive period will go through a \”cursing sensitive period\” in the early stages of language learning, that is, between the ages of 3 and 5, also known as the \”swearing sensitive period\”. Some \”dirty words\” are said on occasion, as well as some offensive language such as \”beat you to death\” and \”go to hell\”. The more adults stop them, the more children like to use them. Children at this stage do not use swear words to curse people, nor do they feel that their expressions are \”dirty\” or \”indecent\”, but rather find them fun and interesting. As child educationist Sun Ruixue once mentioned in the book \”Capturing Children\’s Sensitive Period\”: \”As children grow older, they find that language itself is powerful, especially some words can be like sharp swords, which will produce a sense of power. A powerful effect. The words that best express power are curses, so they began to use them casually and happily.\” Therefore, it is normal for every child to say a few swear words and cruel words when he was young. Second, they don’t know how to express their emotions. Some children say dirty words and adults find them dumbfounded. However, some children say harsh words, which often hurts the parents’ hearts. In fact, when children say harsh words, they are just using excessive language to vent their inner emotions to their parents. To put it simply, they are just using this way to express their dissatisfaction with you. In an episode of \”Family with Children\”, Lulu, a neighbor, asked her mother to buy a camera, but her mother refused. Lulu was very angry and shouted at her mother: \”Bad mother, stinky mother, I will never pay attention to you again.\” The child did not agree. Knowing how to express it correctly can only use this method to attract your attention and let your mother see your anger. Children at this age are not so much saying bad words as they are expressing their anger by saying harsh words. 2. For children after the age of 9, when children reach the third grade, harsh words and swear words are generally not made by themselves, but are often influenced by peers or the environment. A young teacher once complained that today\’s primary school students are full of swear words and refuse to change despite repeated instruction. After all, these languages ​​​​are the most popular in the school. A parent friend also resonated. On weekends, his son’s classmates came to play at home, and several children gathered around to play games., when excited, his mouth is full of uncivilized words. One day, she found that her child was watching a live broadcast of a game. The people playing the game were all adults, and they often said a few swear words. Children learn language through imitation. Today\’s children are exposed to much more and more complex information than when we were children. The imitation environment includes not only family, but also schools, social platforms, online games, etc. For children of this age, swearing is sometimes a common and daily mantra and modal word. It has no special offensive or insulting meaning, and is even regarded as a cool thing. PART.02How to deal with children who say dirty and harsh words? We educate our children to be civilized and polite since childhood, but the environment we live in has many uncivilized episodes. This seems to be what life is really like. As parents, we cannot let our children live in a world with only positive energy. We can only guide our children to express correctly and view these phenomena reasonably. 1. Keep a calm mind. When their children say something dirty, most parents can\’t help but be surprised, angry, and even beat and scold their children, or use \”moral standards\” to blame them. The book \”Why We Swear\” mentions that swearing behaviors are divided into two types: directional and non-directional. Directed swearing is mainly brewed by the left hemisphere of the brain, and its word formation, pronunciation, and semantics are all intentional. considerations; non-directed swear words mostly originate from the emotional area of ​​​​the brain and are inadvertent expressions and outbursts under stress. Obviously, most swear words between children are non-directed and mostly have nothing to do with morality. Parents sometimes do not need to react excessively. Because no matter whether children say \”swearing and harsh words\” because they are joking or to vent their emotions, parents\’ overreaction is a kind of reinforcement. On the contrary, calm down and let the children find that these words have no effect, and they will slowly lose their tolerance for swearing and harsh words. interest. For example, some children like to make jokes about poop, urine, and farts, and they will keep telling them endlessly every time they mention it. If you don\’t take it seriously and repeat it several times, the child will find it boring. And when your child says harsh words to you, such as \”go to hell\”, \”go away\”, \”hate you\”, etc., and you feel a little sad and uncomfortable, you can directly tell your child your true feelings: \”Do you want it?\” Talk to your mother in a different way. Mom is really sad to hear you talk like this.\” It is also a good education to let children know that swearing can hurt others. Being calm and gentle is more effective than yelling. 2. Pay attention to creating a good language environment. I met a mother who took her children to accompany her grandparents in the countryside during the summer vacation. However, the old woman always liked to use foul language when she was excited, which had a particularly bad impact on her children. Some time ago, I heard that a child imitated an old man and said bad words. Everyone thought the child was cute, but the child became more enthusiastic as he spoke. Adults are the first role models for children to learn language. When children express themselves poorly, parents must first reflect on whether the adults have had a negative impact on their children. Children\’s swearing and cruel words are almost a phased behavior. As long as parents guide them correctly, this phase will pass quickly. I am afraid that the adults in the family will speak out without restraint. For example, today in front of the childrenIf you say a dirty word in front of a child, you will find out a few days later that this sentence actually came out of the child\’s mouth. Children will imitate the way their parents speak and use the same way to deal with people around them. Therefore, if you want your children to be civilized, parents must set an example, pay attention to the tone and words used in daily life, and create a good language environment. Even if the child learns bad expressions from friends of the same age, he will know these when he returns home. Words are not welcome at home. Some children will also imitate lines from some movies, TV series, animations and other film and television works. Parents should be careful when choosing movies for their children. When watching TV with their children, they should be reminded in time when they encounter scenes with swear words. 3. Teach children to express themselves correctly In the adult world, there are often many unseen emotions and feelings hidden behind hurtful words. Sun Ruixue: Complete Growth – Self-Creation of Children\’s Life PDF Download Children\’s aggressive speech may also be a disguised appeal, but because of limited expression ability, they will choose some inappropriate expressions. Therefore, parents should teach their children to express their inner aspirations in appropriate language. Parents can tell their children that swearing and harsh words are not a good way to communicate. You should speak calmly what you want. Extreme expressions cannot let others know your true thoughts. Instead, they will hurt others and appear rude. You might as well teach your children some polite words appropriately. When children can express their needs rationally, they can avoid \”harsh words\” caused by anger.