How to educate and guide adolescent boys

If you want to ask, which aspect of raising children is the most difficult? Then the answer must be adolescence. Adolescent children are like time bombs that will explode if they are not careful, hurting their parents and themselves. If you want your children to go through this period smoothly, shutting up is the standard, companionship is the best, and empathy and understanding are the best. Shutting up is standard. Professor Li Meijin once said when talking about adolescence parenting: When children reach adolescence, the first thing parents have to do is to keep their mouths shut. Condescending preaching, blind accusations, and endless nagging are the things that adolescent children resist the most. For those questions that do not touch the bottom line, keep your mouth shut and give your children ample room for trial and error. Wang Dianjun, principal of the High School Affiliated to Tsinghua University, also gave advice to parents in adolescence: When children are in adolescence, parents should cook more and talk less. If these two things are done, the parent-child relationship will improve. A netizen on Zhihu once shared his experience. He said that when he was in junior high school, he suddenly became obsessed with online games. His good buddies in the class kept making appointments to spend nights at the Internet cafe, so his grades plummeted. Influenced by traditional educational concepts, when his mother encountered this situation, she would only beat or scold him, intending to use her parents\’ authority to suppress him. But he was in adolescence at that time. When he was most rebellious, what he resented the most was his parents\’ bullying education. So his attitude is that the worst case scenario is just a beating, what else can he do? But suddenly one day, his mother stopped confronting him head-on. She just cooked the food and asked him to eat. At the dinner table, they no longer nagged him about his studies. They just asked him if the food tasted good and if there was anything he wanted to eat recently. As time passed, he became a little uncomfortable and began to reflect on his behavior and attitude towards his parents. A few years later, he asked his mother why she didn\’t beat him and changed the route. His mother said, \”At that time, I just felt that it was useless to hit you and scold you. You looked like you were broken. The more I beat you, the more rebellious you became. I just thought about it. It\’s okay to let your grades drop, as long as you don\’t learn bad things!\” Unexpectedly, his mother\’s \”thinking\” at that time actually changed his life. A child\’s growth lies in constantly moving forward, while a parent\’s growth lies in knowing how to give in. Decoding Adolescence is free to read in full text pdf+epub+azw3. Therefore, if you have adolescent children at home, please be sure to cook more and talk less. Companionship is a good match. We often fall into a misunderstanding, that is, \”when children reach adolescence, they no longer need their parents very much.\” In fact, adolescent children seem to be very nervous and want to make their own decisions, but this is the time when they need their parents to accompany them. Mai Jia, a famous writer and winner of the Mao Dun Literature Award, once mentioned in \”The Reader\” that one day when he was in the second grade of junior high school, his son suddenly closed the door. \”His door was never opened except for eating and going to the bathroom. He did not allow others to enter his room, otherwise he would run away from home.\” He refused to communicate with his parents and closed the door with him. It\’s the door to his heart. But when faced with their rebellious son, the Mai family did not give up. Instead, they stayed with him and tried to get into his heart. When cooking, he would invite his son to divide the labor and cooperate.Complete a table of delicious food together. When eating, take the initiative to pick up food for your son; when taking a walk, gently knock on the door of your son\’s room, hoping that he will come with you; when climbing a mountain, prepare your son\’s hiking shoes, and when your son is struggling to climb, reach out your hand to give him a hand; although he still doesn\’t There were too many verbal exchanges, but the Mai family knew that the relationship between father and son was gradually easing, the son\’s rebellious mood was slowly cooling down, and everything was developing in a good direction. Growth is never easy, and confusion, anxiety, and pain are often the norm. At this time, as parents, we should provide our children with companionship, attention and support, so that their hearts have a harbor and backing, and we should tenaciously guard their fragile and free hearts. Writer Rao Xueman said: \”Company is the best education for children, and education is just different ways of companionship.\” Especially adolescent children, they push you away while longing for you. They show provocation and rebellion just to disguise their inner desires and temptations. They long for the love of their parents, but in adolescence they are concerned about face and do not allow them to show it. They are also testing their parents, eager to know whether their parents\’ love is unconditional. Or do your parents love you only when you excel in studies and are well-behaved and obedient? So give them more patience and more companionship. Duel? Don’t compete with adolescent children. Download the high-definition scanned PDF version. It won’t take long before you find that they have taken off their disguise and that sensible and caring child is back. Empathy and understanding are the best match. In recent years, there have been more and more news about adolescent children committing suicide. Some are caused by long-term depression, and some are impulsive. No matter what it is, I think if parents can have more empathy and put themselves in their children\’s shoes, can these tragedies never happen again? In 2019, 21-year-old Wei Tianhua, a senior high school boy, committed suicide by jumping into the Yellow River after sending his last text message. I sent my mother the last text message before my death: I really want to study hard and get into a good university. I love you, don’t be my mother in the next life, it’s too tiring. I think he might be holding on to his last glimmer of hope and telling his mother about his pressure and despair. If the mother could empathize with her son, encourage him, comfort him, and tell him that he is actually very good and not put so much pressure on herself, would the outcome be different? However, his mother seemed not to notice, still encouraging her child to study and imagining a bright future. It was these innocuous words that became the last straw for him. I can\’t imagine how desperate he must be when he sees these words while standing on the edge of the cliff. When the child stared into the abyss, no one helped him, and he eventually fell into the abyss. In fact, what adolescent children need is not superior preaching, but the empathy of parents who can see me and understand me. As Jorah Mikali, the author of \”Empathy,\” said: \”Without empathy, we would not be able to seek support, encouragement, tenderness, and love from each other.\” There is never a shortage of parents who love their children in this world. It’s the parents who see their children. Try to empathize, empathize, and think from someone else\’s perspective. These are more important than anything else for adolescent children.▽It is really difficult for adolescent children. Their reason cannot overcome their emotions, and they are looking for direction while stumbling. It is even more difficult to be a parent of adolescent children. We obviously want the best for our children, but once we use the wrong method, it may cause irreparable consequences! However, adolescence is the only way to become an adult. No one can replace it, and there is no shortcut. What we can do is to guide with reason and feel with warmth. This is also the response that children most hope and expect.