The consequences of parents deceiving their children are very serious. I hope you have done it.

Some parents often complain that their children are disobedient. In fact, whether a child listens to you often depends on whether he trusts you and maintains a good relationship with you. Being the person your children trust most is one of the most important topics for parents. The following four things are most likely to destroy the trust between parents and children and make children disappointed in their parents. We must consciously avoid them. When educating children without keeping their word, we often deceive them to achieve our goals: \”After you finish your homework, mom will take you to the amusement park on the weekend.\” \”If you make it into the top ten in this exam, mom will buy you a new pair of sneakers.\” \”This doesn\’t look good. Mom will buy you a better one in a few days.\” But after the thing is done, they refuse in every possible way and fail to fulfill their promises. When the children come to argue with them, the adults even blame the children for being ignorant. We all ignore the negative impact that breaking one’s word has on our children. A parent once said that because he was busy with work, he failed to fulfill his promise to accompany his daughter to the comic exhibition. As a result, his daughter was so sad that she didn\’t talk to him for a week. She didn\’t expect her daughter to have such a big reaction, and at the same time she felt that the child was fragile and spoiled. I told her that as long as we change our perspective, we can immediately understand the pain of our children. For example, the year-end bonus promised by the company has been ruined, the husband\’s promise has not been fulfilled, and the friend promised to pay back the money when the time comes, but there is no news… Although things are different, But adults and children experience the same level of loss and pain. That kind of waiting full of expectations, but in exchange for an empty joy, this kind of anger and despair, it is difficult for adults to calm down and ignore it. It is not the pain of adults that is called pain. In the world of children, a toy, a trip, and an opportunity to play are the most important wishes they can imagine. If you break your promise to them, you are extinguishing their hopes. If your child trusts you unconditionally, what you have to do is cherish it and never take advantage of your child\’s innocence and lie. Otherwise, not only will it set a bad example for the children, but the accumulated disappointment will also make them no longer trust their parents, and there will be a gap between parents and children. Invasion of privacy Parents feel that their children have grown up, probably from the day they had secrets. I can’t tell you from which day the child likes to close the bedroom door, and even writes a sign on the door: Please close the door. He even had his own diary, which he hid away from his parents. Many parents have complained about their children\’s \”defensiveness\” towards their parents: \”It feels really uncomfortable for a child who has worked so hard to raise himself to be so defensive about us.\” \”Things he doesn\’t want us to know are definitely not a good thing.\” !\” So, with the purpose of \”doing good for their children\”, parents began to pry into their children\’s secrets intentionally or unintentionally. Almost all children will feel insecure and angry when their privacy is violated, especially adolescent children, who are very sensitive and will have stronger resistance to their parents. Parents\’ behavior without a sense of boundaries will, on the one hand, make their children feel that they have no self-esteem and create a sense of shame; on the other hand, they will lose their children\’s trust. For children, secrets are beautiful \”mind affairs\”, and most of them can be solved by time. We do not necessarily require children to share everything. What we need to do is to establish a parent-child gapWork hard, care more, respect more, and listen more, so that your children can take the initiative to confess their feelings to you. As long as there is trust, you can enter the child\’s heart at any time. CCTV recommends over 500 excellent documentaries with high scores. Children will become self-disciplined and addicted after watching them. Many parents do not trust their children and are accustomed to viewing their children with a questioning attitude. When I see something missing at home, my first reaction is that my child has lost it; when I see my child rarely succeeds in a test, I wonder if he is cheating; when I see my child is low energy: \”Did you secretly play games again last night?\” A few simple sentences The doubts caused the children\’s trust in their parents to completely collapse. There is a young friend who finds it difficult to get close to his parents and never talks about what is on his mind. He thinks that his parents cannot communicate. When he was a child, he was fighting with someone outside, and the teacher called him home. His parents beat him up regardless, and he argued aggrievedly: \”They did it first!\” His mother said coldly: \”Why? Not hitting others, just hitting you?\” This sentence deeply hurt his heart. From then on, he rarely explained anything to his parents. This kind of disbelief not only hurts the parent-child relationship, but also sets limits on the children\’s growth. When they encounter something, they think that even if they tell their parents, they will not stand with them. The children close their hearts to their parents early. . Trust is a two-way street. A large part of the reason why children are disappointed with their parents is that they feel too much negation and doubt from their parents. If they make mistakes, their parents will always be on the opposite side of them. This is the beginning of disappointment. And when parents view their children in a positive light, believe that their children have a good heart and the ability to be self-responsible, and give them encouragement and affirmation, the children will be more powerful to make changes. Forced to share: A friend once gave one of her dolls to a visiting relative\’s child, despite her daughter\’s objections, and said generously: \”Let\’s play with it, it\’s okay, she has many toys!\” This incident made her daughter sad for several times. sky. Even for adolescent children, giving away their treasured figurines and dolls to other children without their consent can lead to a parent-child crisis. I once read a story about a figure that a junior high school student had saved his pocket money for for a long time, but was secretly given away by his parents. The child responded in kind and poured out several bottles of the fine wine his father had been collecting. After forcing children to share, there will be more or less rifts between parents and children. The essence of sharing is that it is voluntary and enjoyable. We can encourage children to share more every day. This decision-making power lies with the child, not the adults. Respect his right to use his own things freely. Don\’t dispose of the child\’s things at will and ignore his feelings just because of face or fear of embarrassment. When a child is unwilling to share his or her favorite items, be brave and tell others: \”Sorry, he doesn\’t agree.\” This is respect for the child, and what parents ultimately gain is the child\’s trust in you.