Where does a child’s happiness come from?

\”As a parent, what do you want your child to be like in the future?\” One parent said: \”I hope that my child will become a sunny boy in the future, able to do what he likes at any time, and live happily and with dignity. No matter what, Whenever he can, he can put a smile on his face, feel the warmth and happiness of his family at all times, and be an always positive person. As long as he can feel the love given to him by his parents, know how to love others, and be a happy person The child is enough.” It is almost every parent’s wish to make their children happy. Yes, children’s need for happiness is an essential “psychological need” for growth. It is often obtained from the \”involvement\” of parents. The higher the participation of parents, the happier the children feel. An expert on adolescent psychological issues said: \”Before the age of 12 is a critical period for a child\’s growth.\” If children before the age of 12 can have a sense of happiness with their parents, they will have the capital to be happy throughout their lives. Especially these 8 things that make children happy, parents must complete them with their children before they are 12 years old. I saw this interview on the weekly \”Dinner Special\”: If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, who would you choose? The children\’s answers were always the same: family, dad, mom. \”A dinner\”, the simplest thing, has become a child\’s definition of happiness. Just because it carries the parents\’ companionship and attention to their children, it is an indispensable time for children to accompany them. 90% of today\’s parents are very busy and cannot even sit down and have a good meal with their children. But in fact, time at the dinner table is the parent-child place that children crave most. American educationist Sally Lewis wrote in \”Awakening Children\’s Talents\”: Some people have studied what factors contribute to children\’s high scores on learning ability tests. IQ, social conditions, and economic status were not as important as a more subtle factor: all the children with high scores often ate with their parents. At the dinner table, if parents chat with their children and pay attention to their children\’s inner changes, they will feel relaxed and satisfied. Simple greetings and care will infuse a child\’s heart with full love. Maybe parents can\’t take time to eat with their children every day, but they can at least prepare a \”special dinner\” for their children once a week. A well-prepared dinner not only provides children with companionship, but also allows them to feel the happiness explained by ordinary life. I watched a piece of news while exercising with my children. Essentials for family education: How to encourage children’s progress and self-confidence, 70 episodes in total. A couple has been running with their 10-year-old son every day for two years. Every day after dinner, after the son finishes his homework, the three of them will go for a run in the park dressed in parent-child clothes. The exercise is very tiring, but the whole family has happy smiles on their faces. Dad said: \”By accompanying him through exercise, we can integrate each other\’s sweat and dedication, and his future will be more resilient.\” Exercise is the key to promoting the development of a child\’s brain, and it is also the best way to ease a child\’s emotions. The China Education Supervision Office released a study: Children who exercise for more than one hour a day have a more positive mentality and their emotional regulation ability is greatly improved. It is a good idea for parents to accompany their children to exercise together.A kind of \”words and deeds education\”. The sweaty parent-child exercise allows children to experience the feeling of \”tired physically but happy inside\”. It allows children to understand the meaning of persistence, because being with each other is worth it no matter how tired it is. Rather than letting your children do homework and watch TV at home, it is better to take some time to exercise with your children, integrate them into each other\’s lives, and bring them closer together. Setting Goals with Children Host Wang Xiaoqian will convene a meeting with the whole family on the first day of the New Year every year to set a New Year\’s goal for the children. After joint discussion, the 8-year-old daughter set a goal for herself: to do her homework on time every day, be serious, and not play around. If this goal is stated under the parent\’s command, the child is likely to reject it. But through \”jointly set goals\”, let the children have the meaning of \”I do\” in it, and it will be much easier to implement. Why today\’s children\’s happiness index is so low is because children always live under the oppression of \”arrangements\” and have little will for independence, so children have no perception of happiness. Setting goals with children will be based on the child\’s \”wishes\” and involve the child. Parents will accompany the child to complete it together. This is one of the ways to improve the child\’s happiness. Because the moment the child achieves his goal, his inner satisfaction and sense of achievement are doubled. Exchanging a Secret with Children In a variety show, everyone discussed this topic: Children have many secrets when they reach adolescence. How to communicate with children? A female guest said: \”If you want to know his secret, you must first tell him your secret, so that the child feels that we are not tricking him, but sharing it with him.\” After hearing her point of view, many parents suddenly realized. The reason why the parent-child relationship cannot be handled well is that parents always use the \”parent role\” to make demands on their children. On the road to education, what children need more is a \”friend-like\” parent-child relationship, which is the secret to maintaining the parent-child relationship. We want to make children trust you, get close to you, and like you. We can use the \”secret sharing method\” to get into the children\’s hearts. When communicating, we can listen more to our children\’s voices. Share your own experiences with your children using language such as \”When I was a kid…\” or \”I\’ll tell you a secret.\” Tell your child your secrets and let him feel that he and his parents are the most important people to each other. With this level of trust, children are more willing to tell their parents their little secrets. Sharing secrets means understanding each other and allowing parent-child communication to reach \”zero distance\”. Daily bedtime reading In the parenting world, there is a term called \”golden hour\”, which refers to the hour before children go to bed. Interaction before bedtime will give children a sense of inner satisfaction that cannot be replaced by any companionship. Jim Trillis said in \”The Reading Manual\”: \”You may have unlimited wealth, boxes of jewelry or gold, but you will never be richer than me. I have a mother who reads to me.\” Before going to bed is the time when a person\’s heart is at its quietest, where warmth and stimulation are doubly present. Parent-child reading at this time is the best time to integrate each other. Fang Suzhen, the famous children\’s literature writer, said this in a speech on \”Top Tips for Parent-Child Reading Together\”: Reading with your children andIt is not as difficult as imagined. The first step is to take 20 minutes every day to tell your child a bedtime story. Letting the child fall asleep with the sound of his parents reading is the happiest moment for the child. She mentioned that parents enter the world of reading with their children through reading aloud, reading together and accompanying them, just like a guide, leading their children to experience the fantasy world in the book. When we speak the content in the book with our mouths, the emotions contained in the voice can touch the children\’s hearts more than the content written in the book. Plan a parent-child trip every year Children’s educator Lin Jingyi has been taking her daughter on trips since she was 5 years old. She said: The family is getting closer and closer during the trip and has a better understanding. The walking routes, the scenery along the way, and the historical and humanistic stories were all carefully prepared by her and her husband for their children. Traveling is not just a way to relax, but a true growth experience for both parents and children. As Lin Jingyi said, her daughter not only understood human geography, but also had deeper emotional communication with them; and they also gradually understood their daughter\’s needs and ideals, and had more opportunities for emotional communication with each other. Some educators believe that parent-child travel can increase the probability of children\’s happiness. Because during parent-child travel, parents will focus all their attention on their children, making the children feel valued and cared for. This makes the parent-child interaction more emotional and the children more dependent on their parents. The more dependent you are, the closer the parent-child relationship will be. It will become a lubricant that increases happiness and will bring children closer to their parents. Hug your child at least once a day. A study once showed that the first words babies learn are often not \”dad\” or \”mom\”, but \”hug\”. Hugs are a way for children to feel loved. In infancy, a parent\’s hug conveys a sense of security to the child; while in the growth period, a parent\’s hug conveys support and encouragement to the child. This is a kind of body language communication that can connect all the children\’s emotions and happiness through contact. Children who are hugged often will truly feel loved. Li Ka-shing said in his memories: The most unforgettable thing is my father’s hug. I still clearly remember that my steady and nurturing father often couldn’t help but hug me tightly and lift me up when he was in close contact with me. A study by German brain scientists confirmed that hugging can send a kind of oxytocin to children\’s brains, which can create a sense of trust and security. Because it affects the secretion of dopamine, and at the same time the brain will have \”happy\” and \”relaxed\” emotions, it will also have a positive impact on the human immune system. So, if you love your children, give them a hug every day. Give your children a sense of ritual once a year. One of the reasons why today\’s children have so many psychological problems is that many parents don\’t know that their children need a \”sense of ritual\” in their lives. No matter how ordinary life is, we must make our children feel special at some point. Kane in the movie \”Citizen Kane\” is a big shot in the media industry, but he can\’t forget the sled he had in his childhood. When he was a child, his family lived in poverty. The only gift his father bought him was a sled. They also named him\”Rosebud\”. This sleigh gave him many happy moments and made the following days warm and happy. Even though he became successful later, all he remembered was the sled given by his parents. The sense of ritual is the best memory of a child\’s growth. It lets the child know that he is important to his parents. If parents can treat their children\’s expectations as a ritual when their children are growing up, it will make the children feel that they will always be surrounded by love. An occasional surprise that parents give to their children will allow them to measure their own weight in their parents\’ hearts. This kind of expression of love is enough to make children happy. Watch the full version of the 23-episode Harvard Open Course Positive Psychology documentary online at the end. As parents, we must not only love our children unconditionally, but also integrate into every growth of our children, make them feel happy from the heart, and lay the foundation for their future. strength. We must participate in the growth of our children and integrate companionship, listening, and contact into their world. It is a continuous ability that allows children to learn to see love, perceive happiness, and achieve the future because of their parents. Click [Like]. The best interpretation of happiness for children is to integrate into the child\’s world and let the \”code of happiness\” accompany the child throughout his life.