What should I do if my child uses money to buy random things?

What should I do if my son uses money to buy things for his friends every day? My son is 9 years old. He just learned to spend money during the Spring Festival. Now when he comes home from school every day, he takes money to the canteen to buy things for his friends. Gradually, several children came to know that he was rich and generous, and when they saw him entering the canteen, they would follow him and let him buy things. What should I do with him? Expert answer: Mothers can imagine themselves as children and ask themselves: After returning home from school every day, she takes a group of children into the canteen like a star, buys them what they want, and is evaluated as rich and generous. , are you very happy? The pleasure and sense of accomplishment in this kind of interpersonal relationship are direct and effective. What\’s wrong with children enjoying it? Let’s put this specific matter aside and talk about my mother’s mood at the moment. Mom is anxious and worried because you think this is not good and it is a waste of money; it is not appropriate to make friends in this way. Mom may have such thoughts because you never did this yourself when you were a child. Parents will do their best to provide happiness for their children, but when their children are immersed in happiness and make us feel out of control, parents will be extremely worried or even angry. Many times, we are jealous that our children have parents who love them so much and have such good living conditions, but they are surrounded by blessings and do not know how blessed they are. However, if you admit that jealousy will disturb your conscience, you can only use the child\’s inappropriate behavior to express the anger after jealousy. We pass on the suffering we have suffered to our children in the name of \”love\” and \”good for the children\”. This is the power of reincarnation. Before understanding why their children do what they do, parents can communicate with their children without any judgment: \”I see you buying things for your classmates every day\” and let him tell you what his purpose, feelings and wishes are. As long as the parents don\’t judge, the child will have space to think for himself, and it won\’t take long for him to end this behavior. Because either he will give up willingly if he has no money, or his inner needs have been met. Parents can remind their children not to buy items they shouldn\’t buy, or limit the amount in a clever way. If it is strictly prevented, the psychological needs that the child wants to satisfy will one day be obtained in other more extreme ways. My son’s grades have declined, but I’m afraid of contacting the teacher. What should I do? My son is about to graduate from elementary school. His grades have dropped sharply in the past few months and there is no improvement no matter what I do. So I am increasingly afraid of contacting the class teacher, afraid of receiving calls or WeChat messages from him, and I dare not chat in the class WeChat group. . Every time I have a parent-teacher meeting, I feel extremely uncomfortable and fearful, and I can’t listen to the teacher’s suggestions. I am a single mother and I know this is not good, but what should I do? Five must-see documentaries for children to skyrocket their knowledge. Experts answer: Mothers are unwilling to face the class teacher, don’t like chatting in their son’s class WeChat group, and are afraid of parent-teacher meetings. Behind these situations, the essence It is not the decline in the child\’s performance that makes the mother feel ashamed, but the decline in the child\’s performance arouses the mother\’s strong inner denial of herself. The concept deep in the mother\’s heart was activated, that is, \”I am a single mother. I am a failure. I cannot educate my children well at all. Now the children have become like this\”It\’s all caused by me, and I alone can\’t change it.\” In fact, the decline in a child\’s performance is determined by many comprehensive factors. First, the child\’s personal factors, the child\’s own mental and physical state, whether the child\’s performance has declined during a certain period of time, what events, the relationship between the child and the mother, etc.; the second is learning factors, such as the difficulty of learning content, whether there are problems with learning methods, and whether there is a lack of learning ability; the third is external environment factors , how is the child\’s recent interpersonal relationship with classmates, whether the teacher has been changed, what is the relationship between him and the subject teacher, etc. These factors will cause the child\’s performance to decline. Now, the bigger problem is the mother\’s status. The mother\’s withdrawal will make the child more helpless, and he will internally believe that the reason why his grades have declined is because he does not have a father and does not have a sound family. If he believes this, he will give up his own initiative and lose the motivation to overcome difficulties. , and lose the motivation to find the root cause of the decline in performance. At this time, the mother\’s role model is particularly critical. It is recommended that mothers communicate openly with their children first to understand what is causing the decline in their children\’s performance. If the child cannot tell the reason, the mother should Contact the teacher to understand the specific situation and find the cause before prescribing the right medicine. If the mother still cannot overcome the constraints of her own ideas and avoids contact with the teacher and school, it is recommended to seek professional psychological help. Because for single-parent families, the negative effects of a disabled family can be eliminated The panacea that minimizes the impact is the state of the mother herself.