A child\’s future is hidden in his parents\’ mouths

Yesterday I went to visit a neighbor\’s house and witnessed another \”dispute.\” Her father was helping his son with his homework, and when he found several mistakes, he interrogated his son with a livid face: \”You have made such a simple calculation wrong, your brain has been gnawed by a dog!\” \”Tell me! How should you do this question!\” \”A few words of rebuke instantly brought the atmosphere at home to freezing point. After being scolded by his father at a high decibel level, the son looked panicked and tangled, hunched his neck and drooped his head, stammering and speechless. Neighbors said that their children have not been paying attention to their studies recently and often make mistakes. Scolding their children is a common occurrence in their family. I couldn\’t help reminding: \”If you scold the child like this, won\’t he make a mistake?\” The neighbor replied: \”It\’s still wrong, but I am really angry and can\’t help it.\” Yes, if you scold him severely , the child will be successful, then wouldn’t all children be able to become Newton? The reason why parents scold their children is simply to project their deepest anxiety onto their children, worrying that the child who is not good enough will follow in their own footsteps. This kind of subconscious worry actually hides dissatisfaction with one\’s own life. Parents should make one thing clear: scolding their children has no positive value, only negative effects. This kind of verbal violence accompanied by strong negative emotions, even though it is covered with the robe of \”for the good of the children,\” still cannot change its harmful nature. The more you scold, the more cowardly the child becomes. Writer Wu Xiaole once wrote a story about a boy named Zhong Guoyan. Ayan was born in an ordinary family, and he had a particularly strong and violent mother. Whenever a mother gets angry, she will inevitably scold her son. Since Ayan was facing further studies and his grades were not satisfactory, his mother hired a tutor to help her son with his homework. Facing her son whose grades have been unable to improve, the mother always curses hysterically: \”You are a waste! Your brain has been eaten by pigs!\” \”You embarrass me so much!\” These words are mixed with heavy insults. Vocabulary is like a knife, constantly cutting into the child\’s heart again and again. The boy\’s invisible inner world has long been riddled with holes and scars. Living in an environment full of negative language and negative emotions for a long time, Ayan\’s eyes were empty and dull, and there was no smile on his face like a young boy. There was only countless sadness and silence that accompanied him as he grew up. Psychological research shows that emotional harm causes children as much pain as physical harm. When parents scold their children, although they do not use physical violence, they use a more secret, more thorough, and more terrifying way to continuously hurt their children\’s hearts. They will be timid and cowardly, and in order to please their parents, they will humbly cater to others and suppress themselves; they will have low self-esteem, no sense of worth, ignore their own needs, and let others control them; they will lose the feeling of being loved and lack security. Entering a lonely, cold, self-enclosed cage. As a saying I saw online: \”If you scold a child, he will not stop loving you, but he will stop loving himself.\” In addition, relevant research in the field of brain science has confirmed that children who are often scolded have slower brain development and lower IQs. Low, interpersonal skills are even worse. The more parents lack the ability to control their emotions, the more they scold their children, and the more they abuse their childrenThe more the child is forced into a dark and desperate situation, the more the child will bear the scars left by verbal violence throughout his life. If you dare to praise, your children will dare to excel. In the same educational situation, how parents treat their children will determine the children\’s different directions in life and their different personalities. Children who grow up with encouragement and appreciation have inner self-confidence and confidence, which is the source of their strength to overcome obstacles and difficulties and transcend mediocrity. What was particularly impressive was an interview with Baidu CEO Robin Li’s daughter Brenda. In the camera, she smiles sweetly and is generous. When she talks about her father\’s influence on her, she makes no secret of her admiration and gratitude. Once when she participated in an event, she was particularly scared. However, when Robin Li saw his daughter shrinking, he did not feel disgusted or reprimanded at all. Instead, he continued to provide support and encouragement, helping his daughter gain confidence and arm herself with courage and courage. \”There is nothing to be afraid of, you have to have confidence!\” By constantly helping her daughter build up her self-confidence, she is pushed to improve herself step by step, achieve herself, and become better and stronger. Seeing the details of their relationship between father and daughter, I deeply felt: the infinite charm of parents’ language can become a kind of support, guiding children to become more active, hard-working and outstanding. There was a little boy who pointed at the moon and said to his mother: \”When I grow up, I must go to the moon!\” The mother did not laugh, but stroked the boy\’s head and replied: \”Okay, then you must remember to come back.\” Oh!\” Twenty years later, the boy became the first astronaut in history to land on the moon. His name was Armstrong. There was an \”ugly\” young man who wanted to be an actor. He kept tossing and participating in various competitions. Instead of denying or attacking, his parents supported and encouraged him all the way, \”praising\” the boy until he thought he was really a handsome boy. Later, his stage dream came true, and more and more audiences fell in love with this big boy with unique looks, high emotional intelligence, and funny humor. He was Yang Di. There is a \”labeling effect\” in psychology, which refers to the impact of a certain evaluation on an individual\’s psychological activity. When parents give positive comments and use positive language to describe their children\’s behavior, it is a kind of affirmation and positive label for the child\’s psychology, motivating the child to develop in a better direction. On the contrary, if the final comments revealed by parents are always negative and negative, it will cause the children to label themselves negatively, which will be difficult to get rid of, and form negative reinforcement, which will hinder the development of the children. Your mouth is your child\’s life. I watched a maddening video and felt the collapse of my old father through the screen. \”Nine-nine equals what! Nine-nine forty-five, do you think I\’m angry?\” The old father cried helplessly, helpless about his daughter\’s homework. As parents, we are all shouldering the dual pressures of career and life. Many times, it is easy to lose patience when faced with children who \”refuse to change despite repeated admonitions\”; but these critical moments are opportunities for parents to grow themselves and also bring them success. Give your children special moments of positivity and love. Whenever you can\’t help scolding your child, please remember to abide by the following principles and grow with your child. 1. Do not label children negatively as “stupid”, “pig”, “low IQ”, “You can\’t do anything.\” Please delete such words that are highly derogatory and insulting from your dictionary. You can describe your feelings and the problems you see, for example, \”I saw that you made a mistake in your math questions. \”Two\” instead of \”You are so stupid that you can\’t even count\”. Calm and clear language can help children see problems clearly and accept changes instead of feeling inferior and doubting themselves. 2. When emotions are overwhelming, you can leave for a while When the emotional value reaches its peak, it is especially easy to say irrational words. At this time, the best way is to stay away from the scene, give the emotion a buffer, calm down the emotion, and then communicate with the child. Emotional control ability is the ability to practice and self-control Adjustment, continuous learning and enhancement. Change the way you communicate with your children, starting from being a parent with high emotional intelligence. 3. Respect the child’s growth rhythm. In the final analysis, the reason why parents can’t help scolding their children is that adults move too fast. , and the child\’s pace is too slow. The knowledge and insights that adults have long understood are beyond the capabilities of young children. Only when we slow down and find the child\’s rhythm can parent-child communication be in tune and eliminate inconsistencies. Harmonious sound. Each flower has its flowering period and will bloom in different fields. Learn to appreciate different colors and beauties. Let go of your anxious heart. Parents don’t have to rush around at starry night. Children’s future has unlimited possibilities. Parent-child dialogue seems to be life. Small things in school, extended to family education, are major matters related to the establishment of children\’s personality and character shaping. In 2023, the latest and most complete [Kindergarten, Junior High School] VIP course catalog of famous teachers in various subjects on the entire network, click to view now! Educate children, It is not to use high-decibel verbal violence to extinguish the fire in their hearts and suppress their development; it is to light a lamp and convey a force to help them find their own life. I hope every parent can learn to communicate well. Lessons, starting from changing one\’s own language, warm children\’s childhood and illuminate the long road of life.