How parents should treat their children’s learning attitude

Yesterday, I was complaining about DD\’s going to kindergarten in the circle of friends, and there were a lot of messages from mothers! Before I could finish my reply, I received another call from CC\’s class teacher. CC said she was dizzy and wanted to be sent home. I am worried about DD on the front foot and CC on the back foot. As an old mother of two children, I have endless worries~ Rumor has it that in terms of the most dangerous industry now, parenthood is ranked second, and no one dares to be ranked first. It is said that parents of primary school students are at high risk of cerebral infarction. This is not nonsense, it is well-founded. Tutoring children with homework requires not only courage, but also cardiovascular and cerebrovascular strength. A few days ago, my best friend complained that since the last time a child caused her breast nodules to form, she began to lie flat. If you go further, you will be in a state of confusion, and you will have all kinds of knots. If you take a step back, you will immediately become a Buddha, no matter how you like it. As long as we don\’t talk about studying, every day is like a loving mother and a filial son, and the years are peaceful. As a result, the child \”lived up to expectations.\” Just give her a heart attack gift that puts her back 20 places. She immediately jumped up from the sofa: \”Help me up, I can also counsel. Nodules VS myocardial infarction, two evils, you have to choose the lesser.\” Haha, after hearing this, I almost laughed unkindly and turned around. But she asked, why are you, a mother who is also a primary school student, so calm and calm. Of course it\’s because I have a pair of eyes that see everything (no). Parents always have two extreme states when it comes to their children\’s learning, and one is very bad. Parents are in the role of supervisors all the time. Communicate with teachers about children’s status at school, help children with homework after school, and complete family tasks. It is no exaggeration to say that every punctuation mark of the child is marked by the parents. In the short term, it seems that children make fewer small movements and take less time to complete tasks. In the long run, the harm is greater than the benefit. First, when they are being stared at, few people can resist interrupting: Oh, look, the words you write are all like ghost symbols, can the teacher understand them? The numbers here are all wrong! Not only disturbing the child\’s rhythm, it can also easily arouse the child\’s rebellious psychology: Come on, come on? Second, focusing on the long term is not conducive to the establishment of children\’s learning consciousness. Self-consciousness achieved through external force is just a dream. Once the external force is withdrawn, the dream will eventually wake up. If you don’t believe it, you’ve seen how many children studied very well when they were young, but as soon as they stayed in high school and went to college, they really let themselves go. Therefore, learning is ultimately the child’s own business. The second kind is very Buddha, in a state of letting go. The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! Regardless of whether they have no energy or really don’t care, children are basically out of school = herding sheep. The concern for children\’s learning is only verbal: Is the homework done? Listen to the teacher carefully at school! We do not exclude children who are born with self-discipline and self-consciousness, but for most children, learning itself is not that \”beautiful\” thing. At least it is not as beautiful as playing games, reading books, and relaxing for a while, right? Especially in the lower grades, their values ​​are not very perfect and they are not aware of the importance of learning. We always complain, are you learning for me? It really is! When it comes to why children in lower grades study, firstly, they have a rare interest in learning; secondly, they want to gain praise from parents, recognition from teachers, and the admiration of classmates. If adults don\’t pay attention, children will only be able to do more.How perfunctory is perfunctory. As the CC class teacher often says, the importance parents attach to learning determines their children\’s learning attitude. If you ask for the top, you will get the middle, if you ask for the middle, you will get the bottom, if you ask for the next, you will get nothing! Then someone wants to ask, it’s too difficult to control things too tightly and still show attention. Actually, it\’s not difficult. Based on my experience of opportunism and trial and error in the past few years, I have summed up a perfect strategy: not to be a supervisor, but only to be a \”quality inspection\”. Starting from CC\’s second grade, we basically stopped caring about her studies. She did all her homework, check-ins, and online classes by herself. We don’t care when she starts, what she does in the middle, or how long it takes to finish. The only thing Dad C and I do is the final inspection. Isn’t she “uninhibited and indulgent and loves freedom”? Here you go. But, I have to grasp the final bottom line. Of course, it sounds simple now, but at the beginning the process was very difficult and required skills. CC was inconsistent at first: procrastination and dilly-dallying were inevitable; excuses to drink water and go to the toilet were also normal. I was anxious too, but to intervene directly would be to take a job for myself, and it would be a thankless effort. I only did these two things: ① Guidance in place, and constantly let her feel the pros and cons (which way is better). Going home from work in the evening has always been a concentrated entertainment time for our family, and I will arrange many attractive activity. Going to a \”newly opened\” restaurant to eat, going for a walk in a \”newly built\” park, watching an episode of a catch-up cartoon…each one of them makes CC feel like \”if you miss it, you will lose 100 million.\” Of course, you can\’t say \”I won\’t take you with me until I finish writing\”. You are just trying to attract hatred. I just told her \”sincerely\”: \”We are going to take DD to do something tonight. If you can\’t make it, it\’s okay. We can take you there again on the weekend.\” Who is stupid? Who would want to give up an opportunity to speak in vain? In order to participate in the activities, she will find ways to complete her homework as soon as possible. It is a serious statement that is not convincing. We are not trying to trick children, we are just letting them have a \”sense of control\” over things. Experiencing different choices means completely opposite results: one is to complete it seriously in advance, and then play happily; You waste time by dilly-dallying, and end up watching others having fun. How to choose? As long as your guidance is in place, there is no need to preach at all! ②Keep the bottom line and establish good rules (strictly requiring the quality and quantity of homework). Until now, Dad C and I have always checked CC after she finished her homework. I will also look through her homework and notes at school. There are so many tricks hidden in children\’s homework. Must check. The eldest son of a friend\’s family is now in the 6th grade. Their head teacher emphasizes every year that parents must check their children\’s homework at night and then sign it. When parents check their homework, it is like setting a warning bell for their children: they will not get good grades if they are perfunctory. Don\’t always expect children to be more afraid of teachers and think that teachers\’ criticism is more effective than parents. Just think about why parents need to sign every time they take an exam, and children who fail in exams always look like they have no face to see you. We can’t say why, but we’ve all experienced it. Children will eventually become immune to the teacher\’s fear. After all, the teacher\’s \”management authority\” is not fully activated. In addition to criticism, sarcasm and sarcasm are the end.It is easy to achieve collective immunity. When it comes to torture by parents, a hundred schools of thought can argue (the quiet ones are nagging, the serious ones are sarcastic, and the violent ones are punching and kicking). If the child has such a string in his heart, he will not be too perfunctory. What should I look for when turning over homework? Don\’t just point out mistakes, as this can easily offend your child. The highest level of checking homework: let the child be a little trepidatious at first, start to reveal his heart in the middle, and finally feel that he has gained something. A big taboo is to point out one after another that this is wrong and that is wrong. Friends, we have to learn to do big things quietly! Wrong question is of course the most important thing. However, if you find that your child is wrong, you don’t need to correct him immediately. 1. If you know it but make a careless mistake, let the child check it by himself. For example, for CC calculation questions, I will only remind you to check yourself: \”There are 2 errors in the 20 calculation questions of the third major question. You should check it yourself first.\” Firstly, if you check and correct them by yourself, your children will have higher self-esteem; secondly, you can exercise their ability to check, but don’t underestimate it. Many children cannot see that they are wrong after reading it many times, which means they have not mastered the method of checking. (For example, addition questions, reverse subtraction check) In this way, no matter how many times you check it in the exam, it will be in vain. Third, you have to do it all over again, which is very troublesome, but it helps train your children to be serious at all times in order to avoid trouble. 2. If you find out that you really can’t, it’s a good opportunity to find out and fill in the gaps. For example, CC recently learned about division and remainders. I found similar questions, one calculation and one calculation, but all of them were wrong. She told me directly that the teacher didn\’t understand her well. Doesn’t this reveal the weak points of children’s knowledge? Every time I feel like I have found a treasure. I didn’t check this homework in vain. I need to take the right medicine as soon as possible! Of course, in order to avoid jumping up and down, my family always relies on learning machines. If you identify wrong questions, come directly to Master Duan for explanation. Regardless of whether the handwriting looks good or not, the neatness can reflect the child\’s learning attitude. △Writing of Kindergarten Children If a child has sloppy handwriting, is good at \”cursive writing\”, and wants to write simple words in one stroke, then he is probably impatient, unable to sit still, and learns to be perfunctory and cope with things. △I heard that this is a newly popular steel wire ball for primary school students. The teacher looked at the series of ability questions about \”I Want to Hit Someone\” and found that if he really couldn\’t write well, he would practice fine motor skills, starting with basic strokes, and practice writing with hard pen. If it is a personality problem, irritable or perfunctory, you can ask the child to slow down. CC is a frizzy child, so writing is a key point for us to check. If the words are uneven or the words are sloppy, we will remind them to write more clearly. Gradually she felt that the rework was slower, but she was paying more attention. How many mistakes have been corrected? Look at the children\’s homework books. Are there many useful corrections? Regarding this issue, the CC class teacher criticized her by name, saying that she used too many corrections because she wanted to write when she saw the question, and did not think carefully and completely at all. This type of child: either has an impatient personality and wants to finish everything quickly. Either you are careless, or you are too tolerant of your own mistakes, and there is always a chance to change, so your answers will naturally be sloppy every time. Children who study seriously in written and paper work tend to cherish books more, so their written work and homework should be neat and tidy. If a child’s books and homework are wrinkled, dirty, with missing corners and missing pages, it means that the child is more arrogant.It is common to not be able to concentrate on one thing and to learn and play at the same time. Countermeasures: Focus on cultivating children\’s concentration. I have previously written \”5 good ways to improve children\’s concentration. Parents, please save it for your children.\” Friends, you can check it out. There is also a situation where the child\’s handwriting is neat, but there are always scratched holes. This part is broken and that part is missing. This may indicate that the child is striving for excellence and pursuing perfection. Although it is not a bad thing, it may lead to slow writing and repeated erasing and rewriting until the notebook is scratched, causing the child to be unable to write normally. Psychologically speaking, this is also a manifestation of anxiety. Parents need to consider whether they are usually too strict with their children, causing them to be stressed. Countermeasures: Parents relax, don’t demand perfection in everything, and see more of what their children have done and done well. Isn’t there a joke circulating on the Internet about the degree of damage of stationery to test children’s attendance in class? I can\’t say they are unrelated, I can only say they are exactly the same. This situation may indicate that the child is inattentive in class, always vacillating, or has a lack of concentration or lack of interest in learning. Countermeasure: Concentration is the same as above. If there is a lack of interest in learning, specific problems need to be analyzed in detail. Some may be because they do not understand, so it is important to help the child fill in the gaps and keep up with the progress. Some are due to external reasons, such as not liking the teacher, unsatisfactory social interactions at school, etc. In this case, you need to ask about the specific reasons and then prescribe the right medicine. Finally, I would like to remind everyone: The purpose of reading the homework is to have an understanding of the child\’s recent learning status and to have a clear understanding of the situation, not to let you find faults. Every time I find a problem during the examination, I feel like I have found a treasure, because learning is not just about testing knowledge, but also about cultivating habits and abilities. I discovered the problem secretly, and the baby didn\’t know that I already knew it, so she wouldn\’t be so vigilant and sensitive. In this way, I would have many opportunities to figure it out~