How to teach adolescent children correctly

Puberty is a sign of children growing up and also the beginning of rebellion. Children\’s rebellion and fussing cause most parents headaches and helplessness. Because when children reach adolescence, they are no longer as obedient as they were when they were young, but begin to have their own ideas and rebel against their parents. The transformation of their children makes most parents feel that their children are out of control, and this loss of control causes them great anxiety and fear. They tried to use authority to continue to control their children. As a result, the children became more rebellious and even opposed their parents in everything. The parents could not accept it and collapsed, and a family war began. \”Challenges of Adolescence\” Huang Weiqiang, founder of One Psychology, once said: The reason why parents think their children are rebellious is because they do not understand their children\’s adolescence, but simply think that their children are disobedient and rebellious. As everyone knows, the root of children\’s rebellion during this period is the stage of self-development and self-acceptance through continuous exploration. If they are not satisfied in their exploration, or are overly restricted, and their parents do not support or guide their exploration, but force them to continue playing a certain role, they will rebel or become drifters. Teacher Bian Yufang of Beijing Normal University also said: Rebellion is a good start. What parents and teachers need to think about is how we can create a good result with our children. Therefore, in the face of children\’s rebellion, we do not need to panic, but respect the children and accompany them through adolescence together. I was chatting with a friend recently, and she talked about her child, saying that her child’s personality has changed a lot since he entered junior high school. It just feels like the child changes in an instant. Suddenly he doesn\’t listen to anything, starts arguing when he talks too much, and has his own ideas. I don’t want to listen to anything, just like a few days ago, although the weather has warmed up recently and started to get hotter, the air in the morning was still cool. I was afraid that she would catch cold, so I told her to wear clothes, but she said, \”Wear whatever you want, it\’s too hot.\” As a result, she caught a cold as soon as she arrived at school. When the teacher said that my child had a cold, I immediately got angry, but I was worried about my child\’s health, so I still had to give him cold medicine. But if you think about it from another perspective, the reason why children disobey their parents is actually not because they are rebellious and disobedient, but because they feel that they have grown up. You know how warm and cold you are when you wear clothes. Therefore, when parents ask you to wear clothes, they feel that it is not necessary. If they talk too much, they will feel verbose. They just want to control themselves instead of listening to their parents for everything. In the confrontation between children and their parents, they are actually learning to explore, and in the process of exploration, they are learning how to take care of themselves and how to be independent. But from the perspective of parents, they will feel that their children do not listen to them. You see, it is because of disobedience that they caught a cold, right? As everyone knows, children grow up through attempts and explorations. It just means that children need correct guidance during their explorations. I believe that many parents will encounter situations like those of their friends\’ children, but they all manifest themselves in different ways. For example, it is often seen that children run away from home, conflict with their parents, are indifferent, like to play devil\’s advocate, are self-centered, impulsive and irritable. So how should parents get along with their adolescent children when they are facing adolescence? Let me share with you three magic weapons in the book. The book \”Challenges of Adolescence\” once said that facing childrenAs long as parents follow these three words, they can easily spend time with their children during their adolescence. The first is \”find\”, the second is \”appointment\”, and the third is \”let go\”. \”Finding\” allows children to explore who I am and what kind of person I want to be. Decoding Adolescence free full text reading pdf+epub+azw3 Just like when a child is learning to walk, we have to hold on, but we also have to let go appropriately. Only in this way can the child learn to walk. Adolescence is actually the toddler period when children are mentally independent. At this time, they need to be mentally and spiritually independent. Therefore, during this period, they must get rid of their parents\’ previous care, attention, and help to find themselves. As parents, we have to let go and let them go their own way. Only in this way can children find themselves and themselves in adolescence. Although there is only one word difference between \”find\” and \”I\”, it can be seen from this that a child\’s adolescence is the intermediate state from child to adult. They are searching for themselves, and in the process of searching, they become rebellious. Until they find themselves and understand who they are, the task of adolescence is completed. As parents, when facing adolescence, what we need to do is to let go and respect our children instead of continuing to control them. Controlling and binding will not make children obedient, but will make them more rebellious. Finally, the child will become a mama\’s boy, an adult giant baby who is dependent on everything, has poor resistance to frustration, has no independent opinions, and lacks independence. Such a result is not what we want to see. We need to cultivate a confident, respectable, and mentally mature adult. Written at the end: Facing their children\’s adolescence, parents should provide timely encouragement and praise to their children so that they can feel love and respect, instead of raising their children to look like adults but are actually mentally immature. Parents truly love their children by respecting them and letting go appropriately. Only in this way can children become mentally mature people.