After watching the finale of Ordinary Road TV series, I realized who is the best mother in the world

Recently, CCTV\’s \”The Ordinary Road\” ushered in its finale. This popular drama, which was named and praised by Guangming Daily, touched countless people as soon as it aired, especially Pan Yan, played by Guo Qilin, who is upright, kind, and loving, and has countless fans. No matter who he treats, Pan Yan is like a little sun, doing his best to help those in need. Even if he was bullied by the Internet for his justice, he would stick to his original intention and never give in to evil forces. Although he was heartbroken when he was abandoned by the girl he loved, he quickly adjusted and looked at life with a smile. Compared to his colleagues Zuo Na and Shu Yinan, although his family background is average, he lives a more transparent, brave, energetic and energetic life than anyone else. He is also a young migrant worker who is just starting out. Why is Pan Yan\’s personality and outlook so different, yet he is always full of energy? In fact, everything has to do with his mother. Hong Lan, a doctor of psychology, combined many years of clinical research and found that from the perspective of human evolution, women’s emotional energy far exceeds that of men. Mother is the soul of the family. If the mother is happy, the whole family will be happy. If the mother is anxious, the whole family will be anxious. From Pan Yan, Zuo Na and Shu Yinan, we can see that it is precisely because of the mother\’s emotions and energy that the children\’s different life backgrounds are laid. Zuo Na, played by Jin Chen, appears to be smart and capable, drives a luxury car and lives in a mansion, and lives a carefree life. In fact, she has a terrible family of origin. Mother Lao Chunxue is traditional and dignified. She knows that her husband Zuo Dajian is having an affair, but she still has illusions. As long as her husband is willing to go home, she can choose to turn a blind eye and continue to be her rich wife. She instills the idea of ​​a good wife and mother into her daughter all day long, treats her daughter as someone to confide in, and feels that everything she does is for her daughter\’s good. Later, she was told that the partner of her husband\’s affair was pregnant and needed a divorce. She cut her wrists and committed suicide without saying a word, forcing her to die. After finally being rescued from hell, the first thing I asked my daughter was still \”Has your dad contacted you?\”, and I couldn\’t see the panic and uneasiness in my daughter\’s heart at all. In such a chaotic and indifferent family environment, Zuo Na had low self-esteem since childhood and was unable to integrate into her peer group. When she grew up, she gave up any hope for love and marriage, resisted marriage, and was unable to establish intimate relationships with others. In order to protect her mother, Zuo Na fully armed herself and did not expose her vulnerability. She only dared to secretly hurt herself late at night when no one was around. If Zuo Na\’s mother used her \”weakness\” to force Zuo Na to play the role of \”protector\”, then Shu Yinan\’s mother relied on her own strength to drain Shu Yinan\’s self-confidence bit by bit. Independent and responsible. Shu Yinan\’s mother, Li Min, gives people a sense of suffocation as soon as she appears. In order for her son to successfully enter a big law firm, she secretly used her own resources to make deals with law firms, hoping to directly pave the way for her son to find a job. When she found out that her son had made a different choice than she expected, she was aggressive: \”Why don\’t you listen to us?\” When she saw her son staying in a hotel through a video call, she didn\’t ask why or what happened to her son. He looked like he was asking for help. She snooped into her son\’s circle of friends, and when she saw a girl who was very close to him in his photo, she felt as if she was facing an enemy and became suspicious. When her son ran away from home, she went directly to her work unit to ask her boss about her son\’s current situation. Keep saying respect your children, but in fact he controlled his son very tightly. With such a mother, it is not difficult to understand why Shu Yinan, who comes from a good family and has a high degree of education, always lacks self-confidence. On the surface, he appears to be arrogant, but in fact he is covering up his fragile self-esteem and the embarrassment of being unable to escape his mother\’s control even as an adult. As one netizen said: \”Such a mother will suck the psychological energy of her children like a vampire and make her children grow old before they get old.\” They will forcibly transfer their cognition, anxiety, fear, anger, and grievances to their children. , making children miserable, pessimistic, and unsure of themselves. \”To live, one must rely on a spirit that will never collapse.\” This is the mantra of Pan Yan\’s mother, Tang Meiyan. Although she divorced her husband early in her life, she was forced to raise her son alone and lived a difficult life. But she has always been optimistic and never complained. Especially in front of his son, he always delivers full of positive energy. When she had no money, she walked out of her house and drove an online ride-hailing service. She started working early in the morning and stayed late in the day, without caring about other people\’s opinions. When she heard that her son was not confident in the interview, she quickly comforted him, \”If there are any jujubes, let\’s try it first.\” Her son said that he had submitted more than 200 resumes, but nothing came to mind. She comforted her son, \”It\’s because others are too busy and don\’t have time to read them.\” She even defended him domineeringly, \”It\’s because others are blind (to look down on her son).\” In order to make her son have confidence in herself, she always praised her son when meeting people, saying, \”My son has become a lawyer and is very promising.\” When she learned that her son had received a difficult divorce case just after joining the job, although she had little ability or connections, she still personally advised her son and urged him not to give up. Just as she affirmed Pan Yan from beginning to end: \”My son is the best.\” Later, her son was exposed online and others sent a lot of ghost coins, which she secretly hid. While holding back her heartache, she persuaded her son, \”Don\’t be angry. Being angry is to punish yourself.\” At the same time, she said firmly, \”Mom knows that what you do is right, and I will support you to the end.\” While driving passengers, the guests scolded her son indiscriminately. She forcefully kicked him out of the car and defended her son\’s innocence by \”refusing to be transported.\” Later, when her son came home from a lovelorn relationship and was depressed, she patiently enlightened him, opened a beer to drink with him, and openly talked about \”love\”. Precisely because he has such positive energy and likes to encourage his children with positive and affirmative words, Pan Yan is always able to overcome difficulties with sunshine and optimism no matter what difficulties he encounters. His life is full of hope and strength. Mothers like Tang Meiyan do not suck energy from their children, but constantly give energy to their children. Even if they have little resources, little education, and don\’t know how to educate their children, they will use their love, recognition, and trust to let their children receive a steady stream of nourishment, so that they can live optimistic, sunny, and full of positive energy. Whether we admit it or not, the mother’s role in a child’s entire life is far greater than imagined. It is not just about completing the tasks of giving birth and providing milk, but more importantly, what kind of life background is given to the child. Psychologist Li Xue shared her daily life with her mother in the book \”Limited Liability Family\”. There are several things that she will never forget. When she was in elementary school, she once went home and told her mother that she liked to go to the house of a Chinese teacher with a kind attitude. As a result, her mother warned her sternly: \”It\’sTeacher Shi hates it when you bother her. She just won’t reject you because of her face. Stop being so shameless and annoying people. \”Similar words were said over and over again by her mother, so much so that she couldn\’t tell which ones were reality and which ones were illusions. In the end, all that remained in her mind was despair: the outside world hated her. Later, when she entered high school, she met another The Chinese teacher happened to be pregnant at the time. When she was invited to the teacher\’s house for dinner, she gave the teacher a nursing book. But when her mother found out, she said to her with a sullen face: \”You are so mean to a primary school teacher.\” What\’s the use? It is impossible for her to teach you anymore, yet you were kind to her and gave her the only nursing book in the house. \”After being \”brainwashed\” by her mother, Li Xue also felt that she was stupid and ridiculous, and finally gave up the idea of ​​being nice to others. She was young at the time and used to rationalize her mother\’s attacks on her to deny and dislike herself. Until she came into contact with After studying psychology, she finally recognized the harm and blow caused to her by her mother\’s unconscious behaviors. In her opinion, mothers who are full of negative energy will ignore the consequences of hurting their children and let themselves vent their emotions on their children. In the end, the child will only feel that any achievements are meaningless, life is meaningless, and he does not want to make himself successful and happy. Therefore, Li Xue emphasized more than once: A good mother should be an energetic mother. Only the mother\’s own energy level is high Live a child, develop yourself and experience your own life, so that you will not deplete yourself in the ordinary life of being a chicken. You will not control the child, belittle the child, and suck the child\’s energy to satisfy your own needs. In the appearance of mother , foreshadows the child’s future. The more positive energy a mother has, the more she can activate the child’s inner enthusiasm and inject a warm life background into the child. If you also want to cultivate a confident, happy, and resilient child, first let yourself Become a good mother full of energy. Give your children a sense of security and become their dependence. Psychologist Wu Zhihong said: \”In childhood, parents\’ unconditional love is like creating a safe island. With a safe island in their hearts, children will be confident. Explore the world and interact with people. They firmly believe that if they are injured or frustrated, they can return to this safe island at any time. \”Security is the nutrient for every child to survive. It determines the child\’s state of existence. At any time, you must pay close attention to your child\’s inner state, put away your own tension, anxiety and anger, and create a relaxed and comfortable life. Environment. Only when the mother is full of warmth and patience can the child gain satisfaction from maternal love. One day when he walks independently, he can run forward without any scruples and pursue his dreams bravely. Respect the child\’s freedom, give him the right to choose, and Not ours. He has his own independent will, thoughts and cognition. Allow him to make his own choices and respect his different approaches from ours. We do not require children to follow the life path set by their parents. Love your children should be like this You are. No matter what they plan to do or who they want to be, they will accept and understand it sincerely, because life is their own and they have the right to make the decision. Learn to love yourself and have yourself in your heart. Girl Lin Lixuan in \”Youth Talk\” Shout out to mom:\”I hope my mother can love herself well.\” In fact, more and more children hope to see a mother who \”knows how to love herself first.\” Always keep a smile on your face, be sure of yourself, dress yourself up in your spare time, and put yourself first in life when necessary. Only a \”self-centered\” mother can pay attention to her true emotional needs and learn to spend time pleasing herself instead of focusing only on her partner and children. Only when a mother loves herself can her inner self continue to grow, become abundant, and have full energy to convey to her children. Writer Zheng Yuanjie said: \”The meaning of mother is influence. The influence on the child is both innate and acquired, and penetrates every cell in the child.\” Mother gives life to the child and guides the child\’s future. A child\’s vitality is inseparable from the supplement and influence of mother\’s energy. So, from today on, be a positive mother. Only in this way can children have the ability to live a peaceful life and have a better and happier life.