The best education is to stimulate children\’s inner drive

Children\’s growth is inseparable from parents\’ praise and encouragement, but potential encouragement is like candy, which looks sweet but actually causes tooth decay. Correct encouragement is like water. Although it is not sweet, it can activate the child\’s internal drive. Only by activating the child\’s internal drive will the child be proactive. Parents\’ potential praise of their children actually focuses on results, but if parents encourage them in depth, they focus on process and stimulation. It can be seen how important it is for parents to provide correct encouragement and guidance to their children. What kind of thinking a child will have when he or she grows up actually depends on how parents guide and encourage their children when they are young. Tahu Hui, an outstanding Japanese education expert, once said: Parents\’ praise and encouragement promote the growth of children, but if parents are perfunctory and simply say, \”You are so good and smart.\” Not only will the child not become very good, but as time goes by, he will feel that he is a genius and can do anything without working hard. They may even tie themselves to potential praise, fear challenges and failures, and feel that they are unlucky when encountering setbacks. This is what we often call a fixed mindset. Carol Dweck, a psychology professor at Stanford University, once said that people have two types of thinking patterns, one is growth and the other is fixed. A growth mindset believes that you can constantly get better through struggle and learning. Fixed mindset believes that people’s intelligence and abilities are innate and difficult to change. It can be concluded from this that different thinking patterns of children will affect their lives. Just like when Dabao was doing her homework some time ago, she always felt that she couldn\’t do her math homework well, and she also felt afraid of difficulties, but I didn\’t care. I just want to say simply, baby, you are great, mommy believes in you. Fan Deng’s reading recommendation: How to stimulate children’s internal drive pdf+mobi+epub The result is that children become more and more resistant, but less and less want to do homework. After reading the 69 encouragement techniques in \”Parents\’ Language: Effectively Encouraging Children to Be Better\”, I realized that it wasn\’t that my children didn\’t like to do homework, but that I had been using the wrong method. I kept encouraging my children with potential praise and fixed thinking, so Dabao became more and more resistant to doing homework. Therefore, it is not that children are unwilling to learn, nor that children are not self-disciplined or outstanding, but that there is a problem with our methods. As your child grows up, it is recommended not to say these four words to your child; 1. You are awesome 2. You are so smart 3. You are so obedient 4. You are such a good child. These praises are all encouragements from latent and fixed thinking. But what can really change children requires specific details and the encouragement of a growth mindset. Let me share with you 4 practical cases in the book: 1. You are so considerate when my baby takes the initiative to do housework. My mother has been out for a busy day and has no time to clean the room. You clean it for her, which is a great help to her. Thank you. , Mom is so happy to have such a caring baby like you. 2. When your child is afraid of failure, you should try more. It doesn’t matter if you fail. If you try more, you will always succeed. If you try several times and still haven’t succeeded, don’t be discouraged. On the road of life, it is inevitable to experience setbacks and failures. When encountering setbacks and failures, face them calmly, know how to self-reflect, and strive to keep growing., this is the most important thing. 3. When a child is addicted to a hobby, you play football very well, and the teacher praises you for your leadership style, but you also have to work harder on your studies. The teacher said that because of your hard work in playing football, there will definitely be no problem in your studies. 4. Mathematics is not your strong point when your children make progress, but you can score 80 points this time, which shows that you have put in a lot of effort. I am really happy for you. I always think you can do it and keep working hard in the future. Written at the end: On the road to children’s growth, loving children does not require too much effort, but parents need to encourage and guide their children in correct and effective ways. Only in this way can children grow up to be self-disciplined and outstanding children.