A child\’s illness is a touchstone for a couple\’s relationship

There is no holiday during the Spring Festival holiday. I didn’t call to greet my relatives, I didn’t make up text messages to wish my friends, I didn’t post on WeChat Moments to show off delicious food and flowers, I didn’t visit relatives or visit the flower market with my husband. I only did one thing: go to the hospital! On New Year\’s Day, the child coughed and vomited. So we took the child to the hospital for a X-ray, and the doctor said, \”If there are signs of developing bronchopneumonia, he should be hospitalized.\” When we heard this, we were dumbfounded. The child just had a cough, and he really didn’t want to spend the Chinese New Year period in the hospital. After some hard talk, the doctor said, \”Let\’s get the injection.\” So he stayed until 1 a.m. to see the doctor and give him the injection. Although it is the Spring Festival, the hospital is overcrowded. Many children wear antipyretic patches on their heads, have injections on their hands or feet, and fall asleep in their mothers\’ arms. My husband and I took turns looking after the baby. The baby always cried because he was uncomfortable, so we split up to coax him. We also had to make milk, change diapers, give medicine, and drink water. Both of us were very tired. At this time, I saw a mother walking over with her child on her back, holding the sling bottle with one hand, and the nurse helped her get her bag. She hung the bottle on the stand, unhooked the baby and held it. Her child was very young, always crying and moving around because of discomfort. She held the baby in one hand, and took out the water bottle and milk powder from her bag with the other hand to make milk. At this time, the child moved hard and pulled the needle loose. The nurse came over, scolded her, and then hit the child\’s other hand. But the child still moved and pulled off the needle again, so the nurse injected the foot again. But it still didn\’t work, and finally it hit the top of the head. My description is very brief, but the scene of the mother coaxing, making milk, comforting, and feeding her baby alone is still in my mind. At first, I thought the child\’s father was not there, but then I saw him and came in twice, but never touched the child. He even scolded the mother for the second time and then strode away. At that time, I wanted to scold this father. I helped her make milk and gave the child a toy, and she thanked her repeatedly. Then, I started crying non-stop. \”He rarely goes home and ignores the child completely. When the child is sick, he blames me.\” Her words were not without complaints, but more of sadness and resentment. Although we had just met each other for the first time, she regarded me as a friend and confided in me all the trivial family matters: how her husband usually came home late, how he loved to play games, smoke, and drink. How he was usually rude to her and how neglectful he was towards his children… She must have been suppressed for too long and was finally released in front of someone. I saw her delicate eyebrows and petite figure. She must have been a beautiful woman in the past. Her husband must have been chasing her for a long time before she got her, but now her face was haggard and her eyes were dull. There is an old saying: Women are weak by nature, but mothers are strong. The once-young and prosperous Pinting girl took on the responsibility of the entire family after getting married, and gradually became the omnipotent superwoman in the family fumes. But the once bohemian young man who chased the wind still remained careless and bohemian after getting married. He just changed from a teenager to a middle-aged greasy uncle. In one episode of Love Defense, a husband and wife came to the stage to confront each other. The wife complained that the child was sick but the husband did not come home. The husband said: “She is at home, I think she can take care of herself.Didn\’t come back. \”The host said: \”If you can take care of your children, you still have to come back to see them when they are sick. The husband said, \”We have a class reunion.\” \”The host asked: \”Is it more important to have a class reunion or to see a doctor for your child? The husband said: \”Because I like the feeling of being in KTV.\” Seeing this, some people may say: \”This is normal. My husband is like this too. He doesn\’t come home for ten and a half days.\” Men are just busy socializing outside. \”It\’s normal\” puts the responsibility of marriage entirely on women, and many women even think that this is the duty of being a wife and mother. As for men, they still should have fun and sleep, and they should not be in a bad mood. Nagging a few words. When a child is sick, the mother not only has to worry about it, but also faces censure from her husband and blame from her mother-in-law, and even divorce. Of course, not all fathers ignore the illness of their children. There are some fathers who not only can I understand the hard work of my wife, and I am willing to take the initiative to take care of the child. On the third day when I took the baby for injections, I saw a father carrying his son in a sling alone, holding a sling bottle in one hand, in the corridor Walking around. The father looked like a sunny boy, very positive. He told jokes to the child, which made the child laugh. The atmosphere in the hospital became better. Let\’s help take care of the child. It was the child’s grandfather, but the mother didn’t come, and neither did the grandma. I thought maybe the mother was pregnant and grandma was taking care of her. A child’s illness is a touchstone of the relationship between husband and wife. Some couples will become more and more intimate and harmonious through shared responsibilities; However, some couples bring their marriages to ruin through mutual complaints and quarrels. When a child is sick, the handling of the relationship between husband and wife can be divided into three levels: The first level: the wife takes care of the child alone, and the husband does not care. This level The relationship between husband and wife is the most unstable, because the husband\’s indifference means that he has no feelings for his wife and children. Just like the mother I met in the hospital and her husband who ignored her and her children The husband is like the husband who ignores the sick child just for fun. This kind of husband-wife relationship is the most dangerous, and is in danger of breaking up every minute. The second level: the wife takes care of the children, the husband helps, quarrels about big things, and complains about small things. There is another level: The most common relationship between husband and wife in the hospital is this level. When the child is sick, the husband cares about the child, but complains that the mother does not take good care of the child. The most common relationship between husband and wife in the hospital is this level. The child is sick, but there are complaints everywhere: \”You Why is this? \”No, this is the way to go.\” \”If a child doesn\’t take medicine, why are you forcing him to do it?\” \”This kind of relationship between husband and wife is better than the previous one. The husband has at least begun to care about the children, but the complaints from time to time will not only hurt the mother\’s heart, but also hurt the children\’s already fragile hearts. The third level: Husband and wife work together to raise the child and share the responsibility for everything. The relationship between husband and wife who can achieve this step is relatively stable. The husband and wife can understand each other and present a mature and strong image in front of the child, which can bring benefits to the child. A strong sense of security. This is the case with the father I met. His child had an antipyretic patch on his head and a drip injection and looked very weak, but he didn\’t use \”Are you feeling uncomfortable somewhere?\” \”Does it still hurt?\”? \”To intensify his pain. Instead, use jokes to divert his attention and use a positive attitude to make him realize the beauty of the world. This is not only a mentality, but also a kind of wisdom. Such a relationship between husband and wife requires It is the maturity of both parties\’ minds, both parties are responsible for the family, and treat each other with equal hearts. The family will be harmonious and happy. The illness of a child is a touchstone of the relationship between husband and wife. But whether the key to gold can be found is still in the mother\’s own hands. In fact, the husband\’s neglect of the children and his indifference to himself are not caused in a day or two, but are accumulated in long-term habits. My friend Ms. Q told me about her experience . In the first year of her marriage, she wanted to shape herself into a good wife and mother, so she quit her job when she was 7 months pregnant and concentrated on being at home with her husband to prepare for the pregnancy. When her husband went to work during the day, she prepared breakfast, and when he came home at night , she had taken care of all the hygiene, and put dinner in front of her husband. She felt very happy in such peaceful days, until her son was born. During the confinement period, her mother-in-law came to take care of her, and she was only responsible for holding the baby and breastfeeding. Two A few months later, her mother-in-law left, and the task of raising the baby fell on her alone. Because of the frequent feedings at night, she did not have the energy to cook breakfast in the morning, and her husband began to complain. During the day, she could only take advantage of the baby\’s sleep. She had to do a good job of hygiene while walking. In the evening, she was exhausted and had to prepare dinner. One day, her child fell ill and had a fever of 39 degrees. She thought that she could not go to the hospital alone, so she called her husband. The husband said: “You’re at home and don’t have to go to work, I’m busy, go by yourself. She said: \”At that time, I really wanted to get a divorce, but I didn\’t expect that the man I would marry would be so cold and heartless.\” She told her mother about it and cried bitterly. But her mother told her: \”You are the one who spoiled her.\” \”Her efforts and compromises made her husband accustomed to sitting back and enjoying the gains, so he became farther and farther away from the family. Later, she changed her strategy and began to systematically involve her husband in family affairs. , changing a light bulb, screwing a water pipe, and cleaning the whole family on weekends. She also gradually learned to be lazy, skipping breakfast and letting her husband do it for her. She would relax by herself at night and give her children and husband more time to get along; she would even go out on dates occasionally. Leave the child in the care of her husband. In these little things, the husband gradually realized the difficulty of his wife and began to become considerate and warm. The next time the child got sick, he was more proactive than Miss Q. \”I I finally understood that it was not his fault, but that my methods pushed him out of the family, making him feel less and less involved. \”Only by accumulating this kind of feeling in daily life can we use it with ease at critical moments. A good relationship between husband and wife is not born, but is developed through quarrels, trial and error, and compromise. Facing the test of a child\’s illness with a positive attitude not only tests the relationship between husband and wife, but also promotes a harmonious relationship between husband and wife.