Baby: \”Studying is your own business, I won\’t accompany you!\”

This summer, what H said the most was, \”It\’s all our fault. We didn\’t pass the exam before the high school entrance examination, and we didn\’t study with him, which delayed his life…\” H\’s child\’s grades in the high school entrance examination this year were not very satisfactory, and he entered an ordinary school. high school. During the summer vacation, H and her husband reflected for several days. They felt that the biggest reason for their child\’s poor performance was that they relaxed their supervision of the child before the high school entrance examination and allowed the child to study alone in the room. They did not know whether the child was studying. Still played. After the summer vacation, they made a solemn decision: rent a house near their child\’s school, and someone must accompany their child to study at night to ensure that the child spends all his time studying. H spoke with confidence, but I was worried for her, but I couldn\’t bear to hurt her. My first job was as a teacher, and I became the head teacher in my first year. At that time, I was very motivated and determined to be a good teacher and bring out the best class. For class teachers, self-study discipline is a headache. When the teacher comes, there is silence, but when the teacher leaves, there is a rush of excitement. Only good self-study discipline can really make the class teacher worry-free. The school arranges to check self-study disciplines every day, and classes with poor performance will have points deducted. In order to let students spend all their self-study time studying, I came up with a trick after many times of discipline without obvious results. Every day during self-study time, I picked up a book, silently walked into the classroom, sat on the podium and read. This trick really worked. As long as I was there, the discipline of the class was exceptionally good. Because of his good self-study discipline, the class he leads has been named and praised several times. I was complacent about this for a while. As a single young woman who has just graduated, she has plenty of time and energy to focus on her class. An old teacher once gave a kind reminder and suggested finding a more effective method. At that time, I was young and energetic, and I mistook other people\’s good intentions for malice. I felt that others were jealous of the good teaching in my class. They had families and children to take care of, and they couldn\’t devote all their energy to the class and students like me. There are similar things. For example, as a Chinese teacher, I tutored students in math classes on my own initiative. I was very considerate to the students and took care of every detail… but the result was a slap in the face. The grades of the class were not much higher than those of other classes. As long as When I was away, the discipline of the class was in a mess. The class committee was just a decoration, but I was extremely busy… Later, I no longer went to the classroom during the self-study class, but trained the class cadres and returned their rights to them. , and at the same time focused on finding a few students to form some kind of offensive and defensive alliance. In the second semester, I had more time to myself, but the class did not become more chaotic. After leaving school, I also did some reflection on why my wholehearted efforts did not achieve the desired results. I think the most critical point is that I regarded myself as a nanny and supervisor, but did not consider the feelings of the students. A few years ago, the media reported on an innovative teaching method in a middle school. Unexpectedly, this innovation was opposed by many people. The middle school has undergone a special transformation of \”one-for-two\” offices and classrooms. There is a class teacher\’s office at the back of each classroom in the school. The class teacher can observe each student at any time through the office window, and comprehensivelyUnderstand students\’ learning interests, lecture status, self-study habits, etc., and intervene to solve problems in a timely and targeted manner. The first people to object to this approach are students. Some students even said that they were lucky to have graduated a few years earlier, otherwise they would not have been able to bear it. In response to this issue and the popularity of accompanying students at that time, I found a few students to have a discussion: What do you think about parents accompanying students to study? The students\’ opinions are surprisingly consistent: they don\’t like it and they don\’t want it. They think that their parents accompany them to study, which actually means they do not trust themselves. They have to look after themselves like prisoners, and they do not agree with this behavior psychologically. Some students think that their parents are not capable enough to tutor them. Even if they work hard to learn, digest, and teach, once the children find out that what their parents teach is different from what their teachers teach, they will take it for granted. That\’s wrong. They don\’t agree with parents\’ tutoring. This is why many parents still hire tutors even though they can tutor their children. This is because parents\’ education should be precepts and deeds. Students with real knowledge education will recognize their teachers more. Parents\’ indoctrination and supervisory education methods cannot cultivate children\’s self-learning spirit, and children cannot form the ability and habits of independent thinking. Once parents relax supervision, the children\’s performance is likely to decline significantly. Parents giving up their own rest time to accompany their children to study is itself a mental pressure on the children, and it even shows up unconsciously in daily speech, making the children feel that learning is not for themselves but for their parents. Some children will work hard for this, but it will backfire due to too much pressure. Some children will relax their demands on themselves and lack motivation to learn. Studying with you is a wishful wish of parents, hoping that through several years of selfless dedication, their children\’s destiny can be changed. In fact, such parents ignore an important proposition, that is, the child is an independent individual and does not belong to anyone. External factors are important in raising children, but the most important thing is that the child can identify with a certain behavior from the heart , will generate the motivation to work hard for it. To make children enjoy learning, we must first trust them, respect them, identify with them, let them realize that learning is something they are willing to do, and develop good study habits. This is the fundamental method. The role of parents is not to play the role of teachers at home, nor to oversee the work. Forget it, just accompany them to study. If you have this energy, it is better to improve yourself and make yourself a role model in the hearts of your children. Maybe it will be more effective.