\”Child, I dare not force you to study.\”

The mobile browser pushed a message. On March 3, in a community in Shijiazhuang, a 12-year-old child was criticized by his parents for not studying seriously in online classes. The child impulsively jumped from a building. In the video, when the doctor said there was no hope, the parents immediately fell to the ground and cried. I don\’t have the courage to read any more. As parents, everyone hopes that this kind of news is fake or old news from the past. However, tragedy always happens again. In the past year of 2019, two words appeared very frequently, one was \”difficult\” and the other was \”forced\”. Adults have a difficult life. When I reflect on myself, I find that my current unsatisfactory situation is related to my failure to study hard at the beginning. Now that their children are older, parents who have suffered a lot have begun to force their children to study hard. \”Forcing\” is the parents\’ good intentions, but it is also a double-edged sword. It is very dangerous to control impulsive children tightly. If the child is very resistant, parents might as well change the topic temporarily and try to talk to the child about life outside of studying. Talk to your children about the truth of life: There is a bad side to life. The world that textbooks present to children is always bright and warm, intentionally or unintentionally, hiding the cruel side of the world. Such education is incomplete. We should reveal the bad parts of life to our children in a timely manner so that they can see how difficult life is. A mother who is a nurse working in the ICU cannot go home to take care of her two children because of the epidemic. The six-year-old brother domineeringly enlightened the four-year-old brother who had been crying for his mother. There are two sentences in it that are very resounding: Mothers are not the hardest working people in the world, everyone is working hard. Perhaps, six-year-old children still don’t really understand the meaning of hard work. But at least, he knows the existence of hard work. When he grows up and feels that studying is very difficult, perhaps he will encourage himself in a relaxed tone: People always have to endure hardship. Hard work is a normal thing. I can persevere! Carefree children\’s shoulders are easily crushed by difficulties. Only when you see people who have lived a hard life can you know that studying is not hard. Talk to your kids about the truth of life: You need to make decisions about bad things. Life is not about choosing between \”good\” and \”bad.\” The options life gives you are often \”bad\” and you have to choose between bad options. Let’s take reading as an example. Reading will change your destiny, but it does not mean that reading will ensure a worry-free life. With a high degree of education, you may be a white-collar worker in an office building in the future, and you will be glamorous in front of others. Behind the glamor, you still have to pay the hard work of staying up late and working overtime and losing your hair early; as a low-educated person, you once escaped the hardship of studying, but in the future, you will have to bear more pressure from being at the bottom. A girl has two suitors. Both guys have outstanding merits, but the girl is hesitant. The father\’s advice to his daughters is not to choose between their strengths, but their weaknesses. The same is true in life. For every wish, there is also a dissatisfaction. When you are in doubt, ask yourself, which dissatisfaction would you rather choose? Are you taking advantage of your youth to fight without worrying about winning or losing? Or give up your efforts and choose to bow to life? Talk to your children about the truth of life: you can be unsuccessful, but you can’t be immature. A netizen shared an incident from his childhood. in elementary schoolWhen we were young, the teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we grew up. Some students said they wanted to be scientists; some students\’ ideal was to become doctors; some students wanted to be teachers; and there was also a classmate who stood up and said, \”Teacher, I want to be a farmer.\” Everyone laughed at that classmate. I am that classmate. This friend later did not become a farmer, but became an ordinary accountant. Talking about his past incident, he said this: Adults always hope that children can set a specific and decent goal when they are very young. In fact, if children have no experience, how can they have a clear direction? Rather than having lofty goals, I hope my children will be willing to reveal their thoughts in front of me. Many parents kidnap their children\’s thoughts under the banner of \”for your own good\”. It is really for the good of the children that they should be allowed to express their true thoughts and be their own masters. The goal of success is not the standard in life, maturity is. The sign of a person\’s maturity is to become his own master. Even if he is not a successful person in the eyes of everyone, he can still live a passionate life. Talk to your children about the truth of life: if you can’t rush to the sky, keep the bottom of your well. To a large extent, we force our children to study because we don’t want them to become a frog in a well. We hope that he will be a sailor of the world and can go to all docks. However, there are only a few winners in life. More defeated people are destined to find the meaning of life in the little things of daily life. Children, if you cannot reach the height of your dreams, you must descend and find your own position. If you can\’t become a high-flying bird, you have to work hard to keep the bottom of your own well and expand your life within your own space. You still have many possibilities in life now. You can choose to force yourself to fly higher, or you can choose to let yourself go and face reality calmly. All choices will eventually bring about a result. At that time, you have no choice. There are some things that you don’t really understand until you reach a certain age. If you don\’t accept what your parents tell you, I won\’t force you to accept it. Talk to your children about the truth of life: Look for the best and prepare for the worst. Life is like an onion, and every layer has its sad parts. My child, I hope you learn to plan for the bad and stay clear-headed and courageous. When you look up at the stars, you feel so passionate. When you are at the bottom of a ditch, you must dare to bend down and reach out to yourself in the dark depths. Yu Hua said that nothing is happier than living, and nothing is more difficult than living. My child, no matter what happens to you, you must cherish yourself. Also believe that you are loved by your parents and you should be full of courage. My child, no matter you are a bird flying away from a branch or an ordinary frog in a well, I love you. No matter how big the world is, you are the most precious. ▽Every parent was once a teenager. When facing conflicts with your children, you can try to restore yourself to the teenager you once were. Discuss issues with your children as peers. Calm down your emotions first and then discuss the problem with your child. Otherwise, it would be better to leave it alone. The most irrational thing to do is to use the anxiety of middle age to attack the rebellion of teenagers. It\’s like fire and gunpowder. Once it gets out of control, no one of us can afford to hurt it.