Chinese couple killed and marinated their 5-year-old daughter: I just couldn’t control my emotions

Some time ago, I saw a piece of news on my phone: A Chinese couple killed and marinated their 5-year-old daughter. The title was very scary, but I still passed by it silently without opening it. This should be just an extreme case, there is no need to actively seek excitement. Unexpectedly, it was circulated several times in the circle of friends. Finally, I couldn’t help but click on it and read it once. I was even more shocked than I thought. Every detail in the case, as well as the indifference and calmness revealed by the parents involved, made my hair stand on end. On January 9 last year, a Chinese couple who owned a restaurant in Ohio reported to the police that their 5-year-old daughter was missing. The next day, the police dispatched more than 70 people, as well as drones and police dogs, to launch a large-scale search. Who knew that the girl\’s body was actually found in the restaurant\’s freezer, and that the body had been sprinkled with salt and given a simple embalming treatment. (The restaurant run by the couple has closed.) The police immediately arrested the couple. Because the girl\’s murderer was her mother. As early as the morning of the report, the 29-year-old mother violently hit her daughter on the head with her right fist, until green liquid came out of her mouth and she collapsed on the ground and died. I really can\’t imagine how cruel and terrifying this is. The little girl probably had an \”unbelievable\” expression on her face at the moment she died. This mother, if her heart doesn\’t hurt, won\’t her hands hurt too? This scene was later seen by the girl\’s father. He immediately performed cardiopulmonary resuscitation on his daughter, but unfortunately it was too late. I don’t know if they experienced inner struggles. In short, the final result was that after some discussion, the couple calmly and rationally made a decision that they thought was the most beneficial at the time: first, temporarily hide the body, and then call the police to falsely report that their daughter was missing. Wait until the limelight has passed before disposing of the body. In this way, they can hide everything from the murderer to the parents who have lost their daughter without anyone noticing. (The surrounding residents organized voluntarily and placed flowers and dolls at the door of the crime scene for the little girl.) Some time ago, the case trial ended and the wife pleaded guilty and was eventually sentenced to 22 years in prison. Since she is an illegal immigrant, she will be deported after serving her sentence. Returned to China; the husband pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 12 years in prison. (Both of them are from Yutian, Changle, Fujian, and they have a 7-year-old daughter.) Mothers in the world wish they could give all their tenderness to their children. But this mother is only cruel. I have been puzzled. Are there any misunderstandings or difficulties in this? In addition to being eager to escape guilt, didn\’t they shed a tear for their daughter at that time? But after watching the video of the girl’s mother’s confession, my heart felt even colder. When talking about the incident, she was so convincing and argued the case. Her mood was as calm as if she was talking about something that had nothing to do with her. Is this the indifference that a mother who has just lost her daughter would have? \”I have to take care of all aspects of the restaurant. I only have two hands, not four.\” \”I don\’t want to do this to my daughter, but sometimes I really can\’t control myself.\” The mother also said that she was too busy at work. Now, the relationship between husband and wife is not harmonious, and I have a bad temper. Not long ago, my daughter returned to China and was handed over to her grandpa.My grandma took care of her for a while, but after she came back, she became misbehaved and disobedient. She couldn\’t control her emotions for a moment and accidentally killed someone. What worried me the most was that when the police asked her why she beat the child, she actually said that she had forgotten and she was just angry. Seeing this, I was already furious. Is the meaning of my daughter\’s existence just to listen to you like a puppet on strings? Because she is disobedient, she doesn’t even have the right to live? No wonder you had the foresight to sprinkle a layer of salt on your daughter\’s body so that it wouldn\’t stink. (Dead 5-year-old daughter) In their minds, their children are their personal belongings. They have absolute control and absolute authority. I can give you life and I can give you death. Therefore, children must be obedient, sensible, and well-behaved, and must not make their parents angry. From the perspective of an onlooker, you will find it incredible that these parents have no conscience. But don\’t think that it is far away from you. In fact, many people have the shadow of these parents to some extent. The authoritative education method they pursue is not only the education method used by our previous generation, it is still very popular even now. Of course, authoritative education has its benefits. It often has immediate results and can cure the child immediately, saving parents\’ time and energy, and is very convenient. However, only one soul can live in one body. Independence is the natural instinct of every child and the destiny of life. The child will eventually try every possible means to resist. This case is an extreme example, but even under normal conditions, in the long run, the effect of authoritative education may not be as effective as parents wish. Authoritative education is actually a very high-risk education method. I remembered my best friend’s story. She had lived under the high-pressure rule of her mother since she was a child. If she was disobedient, her mother would come up and give her a slap in the face without any explanation. Seeing her mother from a distance on the street, she would be uncontrollably frightened and wanted to take a detour and run away immediately. Her biggest motivation in the first half of her life was to escape from her mother\’s control. To this day, she still clearly remembers the blessings her classmates left for her in the memorial book when she was in her senior year of high school: I wish you can leave your home as soon as possible and escape the sea of ​​suffering. So, when she was in college, she left without hesitation and took root in another city. She would never go home unless she had to. She couldn\’t get close to her mother. Every time she called home, it was like a mission. She had to prepare an outline in advance. Their mother-daughter relationship has long existed in name only. There is another extreme of escaping control, which is the child\’s threat to death. A while ago, I saw a news story about a mother who didn\’t want her child to play with mobile phones, so she took her child\’s mobile phone and threw it directly from the balcony. Unexpectedly, the son immediately chased the mobile phone and jumped off the balcony to his death. There are too many similar news, often because of a parent\’s words, \”No more playing games\”, \”Stop watching TV\”, a seemingly innocuous request can force children to resist fiercely, and even threaten to death. . Parents often feel inexplicable and have no idea where they went wrong. Faced with the long-term strict control of their parents, there is really not much that children can do to resist. When he felt most desperate, he had no choice but to die and escape. What happens if parental control succeeds?Sample? Children are generally very obedient and only obey their parents. But what sounds good means being well-behaved and obedient, and what doesn\’t sound good means being submissive and having no independent opinions. The parental control is airtight and the child is effectively mentally dead. They become their parents\’ puppets and cannot survive alone without their parents. These examples are all heartbreaking and regrettable. In the P.E.T class, the teacher once said: Parents naturally have authority, but that does not mean they can abuse their authority. I deeply agree. When parents use authority, the short-term effect is indeed very obvious, and they can treat their children properly, but in fact, every time it is harmful to the parent-child relationship. Every time, money is withdrawn from the relationship bank. We just end up pushing our children further and further away step by step. Today, when beating and scolding children are generally taken for granted, we have long been accustomed to authoritative education. Seeing the cruel other side behind it is the biggest revelation of this extreme case. In ordinary life, we would not use such extreme methods to treat our children, but if we grow up in authoritative education, if we are not careful, we may unknowingly get the upper hand and demand that our children obey us. When your child is disobedient, contradicts you, and makes you lose your temper, please remain aware and try to stop and ask yourself: Where does the anger and loss of control at this moment come from. Love your child \”as he is\” rather than \”as I wish\”. Becoming oneself is the greatest driving force for the existence of every life. What can best nourish a child\’s life is always respect, freedom and love.