Don’t be a good mother in the eyes of others, just be a good mother in the hearts of your children

During the summer vacation, I took my children to my grandparents’ house in the countryside for a few days. There is a very small express delivery point opposite, with only a mother and a little boy of about seven years old inside. My mother is busy all day, and when she is free, she can only stay here to send and receive express delivery. For several days, I have never seen this little boy come out to play. Every time he brought his children over, he would look at them eagerly. The small space trapped the mother and the child. A cramped space is bound to fail to give children more joy and restrict their freedom. The little boy sits at the table every day, with various homework in front of him, writing, doing calculations. We can understand the mother’s good intentions and hope that her children will study well from an early age so that they can have a good future. But children are children after all, and those eyes that follow the laughing and playing friends, those eyes that desperately yearn for freedom, cannot lie, and should not be ignored. Children of this age should play house with their friends, hide and seek, and run around in the countryside like wild animals. But now, I can only be trapped in this small space, and I can only be trapped in one summer homework after another. He is still just a child, bearing so much burden, is there any childhood left? Perhaps, when a child achieves excellent results, all parents envy the mother for her skill in teaching her children and her good parenting. Praise her for being an amazing mother who has raised such excellent children. But what will the child think? When he thinks back to his childhood, except for a few trivial awards, the rest will be blank. True excellence is never measured by excellent results. Achievements are important, but companionship and childhood are even more important. Just finish all your summer homework, you can\’t force your children to write and write all day long. A child\’s childhood is only once, lost, missed, and will never come back. There is only one stage in his life where he is carefree and heartless, there is only one stage where he is completely relaxed and joyful, and there is only one stage where he can be tolerated infinitely without being ignored. Accusing and critical. One day, my third-grade daughter came home from school and asked me directly: \”Mom, do you want me to play with Shirley Liu? Just now Aunt Wang told me not to play with her in the future, saying that if she didn\’t get good grades, she would take me down. Bad.\” I thought about it and asked my daughter first: \”Do you like playing with her?\” \”Of course I do, she loves to laugh, and she can also make beautiful clothes for Barbie dolls. Help me scare those male classmates, I like playing with her very much…\” \”Then her grades are not very good, do you still like to play with her?\” \”Yes…Mom, didn\’t you say before that grades cannot represent a person? Is she a good or bad person? She is really nice.\” My daughter looked at me with confusion. I smiled and said, \”You don\’t know the answer yourself, and why are you asking me?\” My daughter also giggled happily. That classmate has been to my house, and I can see that she is smart, kind and generous. Every time I pick up my children, I always hear warm-hearted parents telling me not to let their children play with those \”bad classmates\” as they will lead to bad behavior.Don\’t let your children waste their summer vacation, hurry up and go to a cram school; don\’t let your children learn roller skating, it\’s so dangerous to bump into each other… I can only smile and deeply disagree with this. The smile and the light of joy that radiate from the heart of a child are my yardstick and what I decide whether to do, not these so-called \”shoulds and shouldn\’ts.\” I don’t want to be a good mother recognized by the world. I just want to be a good mother that she likes. Even if it’s a bit deviant, what does it matter? Some parents always like to compare themselves with others. They didn’t have any ideas at first, but after a comparison, it turned out like this: their children not only attended cram schools for physics outside, but also hired English and Chinese tutors. We have to consider this too; His child has been learning IELTS and TOEFL since the high school entrance examination. We don’t care whether it is useful or not, but let the child memorize the words as hard as he can. His child plays bridge so well, should we also let the child learn and exercise his thinking… ..Under the pressure of parents who are trying their best to make their children good and better, we are also unconsciously putting more pressure on our children. But what we think is good may not necessarily be very good for the overall growth of the child. What is more important is to pay attention to the children\’s hearts and their emotional needs. The skills needed for survival are always only one aspect. The most important thing is that the child must first become an independent and sound person with a sound personality. Pay attention to the children\’s souls, truly understand what they want, truly care about their growth, and make appropriate progress at the appropriate age and stage. No matter what the external standards are, everyone is a book and has his own time and story. Take your time, don’t be a good mother in the eyes of others, just be a good mother in the eyes of your children.