His head is full of ice flowers but he smiles and makes faces. The qualities of the \”ice flower boy\” are exactly what our children lack.

Recently, a boy with a head full of \”ice flowers\” unexpectedly became popular on the Internet. I couldn\’t help but feel distressed when I saw the boy in the photo with his hair and eyebrows turned into icicles, frost on his clothes, and wearing some thin clothes. Today\’s children are all treasures. Who\’s child is not carefully cared for? In these cold winters, you have to check the temperature in advance before going out, have to be picked up and dropped off by a car, and prepare two extra thick clothes for backup. Why is this child wearing It\’s so thin, yet it\’s so cold that you\’re covered in cold? It turns out that this boy is a left-behind child whose parents are working in other places. He is in third grade and has to walk 4.5 kilometers to go to school every day. On this day, in order not to be late for the exam, the boy rushed to school in such a hurry that he didn\’t even have time to wipe off the frost and snow on his head. I thought to myself that the boy must be very miserable. His parents are not around, he lives in a mud house with his grandmother and sister, and he walks forty to fifty minutes on the mountain road to go to school every day. Many adults cannot bear these hardships, let alone a child in third grade. However, unexpectedly, the boy was very positive and optimistic. His teacher said his classmates laughed at his \”peculiar\” appearance, and the boy not only ignored it but also made faces. He also said: Going to school is cold, but not bitter. He can cook for his elderly grandmother, and he also has a dream to be a policeman when he grows up. In the \”Ice Flower Boy\”, I saw many qualities that today\’s children do not have but are very important: optimism, humor, and dreams, which are all standard features of happiness. The \”Ice Flower Boy\” doesn\’t have much, but he is happier than those who have a lot. When Mu Fan was just born, I looked at the crystal clear elf in my arms and secretly vowed in my heart: I will do my best to give you the happiness in the world! At that time, my original intention was: happiness is the most important thing. But as Mu Fan grows up day by day, I can\’t help but compare him to others. How many months will it take for other people\’s children to raise their heads? How many teeth will other people\’s children have? Can other people\’s children urinate on their own? With this kind of growing anxiety, I spend less time paying attention to my child\’s feelings, and instead pay more attention to his \”progress\”. I always hope that he will be more talented and smarter than others, and I hope that he will show that others are not good enough from an early age. Have the talent. Fortunately, I realized my wrong mentality early and \”it\’s not too late to stop before it\’s too late\”. What are the consequences of a social climate where parents pay too much attention to grades and comparisons? That is to increase the probability of absence of happiness. Fan Ma once saw such a set of data on the Internet and was shocked: According to the latest estimates from the WHO, there are currently more than 300 million people suffering from depression in the world. In 2013, 16 million people over the age of 15 in my country suffered from severe depression. Mental disorders. In life, we often hear reports of suicide due to depression. Therefore, many people call today\’s young people the \”snowflake generation\”: they are sensitive and fragile, have poor ability to withstand stress, and are prone to anxiety and depression. Why are there more and more patients with depression? Why did the \”snowflake generation\” appear? Although the adult world is not easy, many patients with depression are not materially unhappy. On the contrary, they may be very wealthy. This is because the causes of depression in patients are actually related to their families., the roots of depression often lie in childhood. Recently a friend posted in the circle: When I was in school, I thought I would be happy if I studied well. When I graduated, I thought I would be happy if I got a high salary. When I got married, I thought I would be happy if I didn’t quarrel. But I got all these things, but I didn’t. Feel happy, why? My friend\’s mother is a very strong person, but strong will lead to failure. Her parents passed away when she was a teenager. She lived with her uncle, and her aunt betrothed her to her friend\’s father for the bride price. , and said that this was her living expenses for so many years. My friend\’s father injured his leg at a construction site and received a compensation, and all the compensation went to his mother\’s aunt\’s house as a bride price. After his mother came into the house, the family was impoverished and looked down upon by the people around her. My mother put all her hopes on her friend, who had been smart since he was a child, hoping that he would become successful and honor his ancestors. However, my friends fell into a cycle of comparison. After he passed the exam, his mother warned him to keep working hard and not to be overtaken by others. If you fail the test, you will be chased and beaten by the whole village. If you play with others, you will be asked to go home to avoid being \”lost by playing with things.\” If you want to watch TV, you will be scolded for \”losing your hard work.\” In short, anything unrelated to study was not allowed by his mother, so his childhood was \”kidnapped\” and he did not know how to feel happiness. Under such high pressure, my friends have been working hard just to succeed and not to be looked down upon by others. In the end, he succeeded. He walked out of the village, became a civil servant in the city, and married a beautiful and gentle wife. However, he said that he could not feel happy. He never understood why he got everything his mother asked of him, but he didn\’t feel any happiness at all. But I understand that because he lacked too many things in his childhood, these things are not achievements or success, but innocence, and the humor, optimism, and heartfelt dreams related to innocence. Our children are many times \”richer\” than the \”Ice Flower Boy\”, but why do they lose a lot in happiness? Although \”Ice Flower Boy\” did not have good family conditions and was not accompanied by his parents, such a growing environment also brought him many benefits, that is, a childhood that was not disturbed or rushed. He can \”provoke\” flowers and plants on the way to school; he can joke unscrupulously without caring about others; he can have his own dreams and not live according to other people\’s wishes; he can enjoy his own life, although it is extremely poor in the eyes of others. . Happiness is the yardstick for measuring a child\’s lifelong achievements. If we want our children to be happy, we must understand that companionship that damages their innocence is not as good as children growing up alone. Happiness comes from one\’s own heart, and a strong and independent heart is the basis of happiness. Be parents who are rich in heart. If you want your children to feel happy, you must first be a rich person within yourself. Have your own interests, have your own ignition point, and feel happiness from the little things in life. When encountering difficulties in life, firmly believe that sunshine will come after the storm and infect children with an optimistic attitude. When life becomes healthy and prosperous, help others and let your children experience the joy of giving. No strings attached to childrenpieces of love. Don\’t tell your children, \”I won\’t love you if you don\’t obey me\” or \”If you don\’t do well in the exam, just go with someone else.\” Love his honesty and kindness, love his confidence and optimism, love his bravery and sincerity, instead of focusing too much on achievements, rankings, and comparisons. In this way, children can pay more attention to themselves and their hearts. Only then can he get out of the shackles of other people\’s evaluations and feel happiness. Don’t be overly giving and controlling. If parents give unprincipledly out of love for their children, they will deprive their children of the opportunity to work hard, or they may control their children\’s growth and deny their children the right to autonomy. Then the child will continue to ask for and resist, and it will be difficult for the child to grow into a happy self. Give children the opportunity to choose, let them fight for what they want, and feel the sense of accomplishment gained through hard work. Give children enough space for autonomy, let them face \”minor setbacks\” and \”minor difficulties\”. Don\’t be \”helicopter parents\” or \”lawnmower parents\”, but be \”passengers\” who love and demonstrate in your children\’s lives. Cultivating children\’s happiness will be the most valuable wealth that will follow them throughout their lives.