How to deal with sensitive children

Every child is a gift from God. We desire the best for our children, so God gives us the best. Dabao has been particularly sensitive and timid since he was a child. He was still a baby at that time and it was his first time as a mother, so he just thought he was afraid of birth. It wasn\’t until today that I found out the real reason why Dabao has always been sensitive, timid and fragile, and this problem has never existed in my knowledge. That is, my child is a highly sensitive child. Because he has no awareness and has never heard of it, he has never thought about it. In the past, if a child is sensitive, timid, shy, afraid of others, and does not talk to strangers, it is a sign of introversion. But after reading \”Discovering the Power of Sensitive Children\”, my understanding was refreshed and my confusion was relieved. Instead of blaming myself and blaming my children, I recognize my children’s nature and accept my own unique children. When I first read this book, I came looking for answers and solutions, but when I read a little bit, I actually didn’t agree with it that much. But as I went further, I found that many aspects had the shadow of my children, but there were some deviations in some parts, but it is undeniable that my children are indeed highly sensitive children. So what is a highly sensitive child? Some highly sensitive children are cheerful and some are introverted, but they have a unified characteristic that they are all sensitive. It is easy to be frightened and fearful. Some people have strong emotional reactions, while others are very afraid of contact with strange environments and strange people. Some people always say that they feel itchy when wearing uncomfortable clothes, and they don’t like special treatment, let alone attention. When facing unfamiliar environments and people, they will need more time than ordinary children because they have to observe whether the surroundings are safe. Once you feel safe, you will slowly let down your guard and allow yourself to adapt and blend in. Sun Ruixue – Capturing Children\’s Sensitive Periods pdf download [HD version] If they don\’t feel safe around them, she will always maintain a scrutinizing attitude. In short, she is observing. But in the eyes of outsiders, such children are introverted, fragile, timid, shy, and unwilling to communicate with others. Before reading the book \”Discovering the Power of Sensitive Children\”, I had the same idea, and even envied other people\’s children for a time. But what made me change was when Dabao was 2 and a half years old, I started to feel something was wrong, because Dabao was not willing to talk to unfamiliar people at all. Some of them had only been gone for two days and I didn’t talk to anyone. At that moment, I panicked and thought to myself, if this works, what should I do if I go to kindergarten? From then on, when she went out, she began to force Dabao to say hello to her uncles and aunts. If she didn\’t say hello, she would scold her when she came home. After hearing this, Dabao would say, I will say hello next time, but it will still be the same next time, even when someone later said, why doesn’t your child speak? To put it bluntly, my child is timid and it would be nice to be familiar with it. However, I label the child at will and the child begins to become more and more silent. The more silent the child is, the more anxious I am. The more anxious I am, the more I feel like a failure. Why do I study every day? Why can’t I teach my children well at this point? Sometimes I comfort myself, so be it, it’s just what it is, and there’s nothing I can do about it, but when I see my friends’ children living better than the other,After splashing cheerfully. I lost my composure and began to change my approach. Instead of forcing Dabao, I took Dabao to the garden, shopping malls, and amusement parks. I went to play with children of the same age and started letting her learn to ride balance bikes and scooters to cultivate her love of sports. Professor Li Meijin once pointed out in \”Today\’s Statement\”: Exercise can reduce children\’s psychological problems, especially adolescent children. Let them exercise, which will affect the child\’s endocrine, development and nervous system, and reduce children\’s psychological diseases. Especially for introverted, sensitive, and timid children. The more introverted, sensitive, and timid a child is, the more important it is for the child to exercise. During exercise, the child\’s muscles can be exercised. As long as the child\’s muscles have strength, he will have a sense of control. On the contrary, if a child is covered in loose flesh and his arms are like firewood, it is useless for you to educate and encourage him to be brave every day. Although I didn\’t understand that Dabao was a sensitive child at the time, I still followed her rules and rhythm and allowed her to slowly accept and grow up. This is why some sensitive children grow up to be cowardly, sensitive, and timid, but some sensitive children are outstanding and outstanding. In fact, it depends on the growth environment given to the children by their caregivers. Just like when I took Dabao out, my main purpose was to let her get in touch with more people, so that she would not be surrounded by only her parents and grandma. In addition, playing is a child\’s nature, and he will let go of his body and mind while playing. When he first started going out, Dabao was not willing to join everyone. I just thought she was shy and timid, so I tried to encourage her to be brave and play with the children. Sometimes she would shake her head, and sometimes she would ask me to accompany her. When she didn\’t take the initiative, I would take the initiative to build a bridge for her and talk to the children. Parents have the obligation and responsibility: to help their children build a bridge of communication and connection with the world! I play with the children. During the play, Dabao sees that I am there, so he naturally joins in. When they play well, Dabao naturally joins in. I quietly quit the game, and gradually Dabao fell in love with the playground and was no longer afraid of strange children he was unfamiliar with. Because of constant positive encouragement, the child gradually becomes confident and cheerful, but she will still scrutinize and observe when entering new and unfamiliar environments. Just like now, Dabao is 5 years old. She still cries when she changes schools or comes into contact with new things, but I am no longer as anxious as before. Instead, he will accept her crying and patiently tell her that it is normal to not adapt to it at first, and she will adapt gradually. Dabao will also associate fear when seeing scary scenes. I will still tell her that she has never seen it before and it is normal to be afraid. At the same time, tell her with empathy that if I hadn\’t seen it, I would be scared too. But if you are really scared, you can choose not to watch it next time, or you can figure out why it is happening. Once you know the reasons, you can take precautions. Another way is to accept it with fear and fear knowing that you are afraid. As a result, we will see whether we will lose a piece of meat. If not, I won’t have to be afraid in the future. At the same time, in the process of raising Dabao, I will no longer only focus on her fears and fears. I will appreciate her strengths, agree with her love of expression, and tell her that she has keen insight and rich imagination.. There will be another sentence later, you love to think so much, this is a good sign! British educator Spencer once said: When children feel loved, trusted, and affirmed, miracles will soon appear before your eyes. However, when raising highly sensitive children, because highly sensitive children have been highly sensitive to everything since childhood, they need more patience and guidance from their parents than ordinary children during the upbringing process. Once parents carefully nurture and guide them, highly sensitive children will grow up to be more outstanding and outstanding than ordinary children. Next, how to guide highly sensitive children correctly? 1. When a child does not want to do something temporarily, do not force the child. At the same time, use empathy to guide the child or give the child time. Or use examples of children who have done it to encourage her, such as Dabao being afraid of vomiting blood. First, I accepted her, acknowledged her fear, and gave her a loving hug. And told her that if it was the first time I saw her, I would be scared too, but fear is a process, and we can try to accept and adapt to it, just like going to school or taking interest classes at the beginning. You were scared at first, but now you have adapted and accepted it, and you have made so many friends, and your child says yes. Because of my acceptance and non-resistance to Dabao, every time Dabao talked about being afraid of vomiting blood, he stated it as if he were chatting with me. She no longer showed the same fearful expression as before, because she understood and accepted that fear is a common thing for everyone. As parents, when children are sensitive or afraid of new things, the parents\’ attitude and guidance are actually very important to the children. He decides whether the child can view this matter and himself correctly. 2. When your child doesn’t want to talk, don’t force your child to talk to others. If the other person continues to ask, why doesn’t your child like to talk? You can politely say, I haven’t seen you for a long time and I’m a bit unfamiliar. I’ll talk when I get to know you better. But next time if your child takes the initiative to talk to others, learn to encourage and affirm your child, and tell your child that you are so polite. My aunt praised you, saying that you are not only polite but also very optimistic, cheerful and expressive. Psychologists say: The power of suggestion can make a person successful, and it can also destroy a person. Subconsciously convey to your children that you are an optimistic, cheerful and expressive child. 3. When others ask why your child is so introverted and timid, I no longer feel embarrassed and say that my child is just timid and shy. Rather, my child, I won’t talk about it now, mainly because he is not familiar with you. It’s good to be familiar with him. After he gets familiar with you, he loves to talk and is very lively. Parents\’ affirmation and approval of their children are unconsciously integrated into their bones, and they gradually become the person their parents say they are. 4. Don’t force your child to say hello to others. If your child doesn’t want to say hello to an acquaintance, don’t force her to do so. But tell your children in private that saying hello is polite. If you feel the other person is unfamiliar and don\’t want to say hello, you can nod and smile. But if your child takes the initiative to say hello next time, you must affirm and acknowledge the child immediately, and tell the child that your mother will know that you are a polite, expressive and cheerful child. 5. Don’t blindly accuse and denyChildren, pay more attention to their strengths. Just like a highly sensitive child, don\’t pay attention to the child\’s emotional reactivity, timidity and shyness, but pay more attention to the child\’s love of thinking and keen observation of things. When we continue to encourage and pay attention to children with a growth mindset, children will continue to recognize and accept their different selves. An education expert once said: Excellent children are the result of high-quality education, while problem children are the product of problem families. In fact, what it means is that in life, parents should guide and educate their children in the correct way. Only when children are guided correctly and allowed to continue to explore based on their own talents will they become outstanding and outstanding in the future.