How to hold family meetings to cultivate children’s independence!

Dami has a friend. His father mainly educates his children. He is smart and cute. When he takes him out to play, he is also a very fun ghost. He is very annoying. However, he is also sensible and independent. He takes the initiative to do housework at home. In school, he was the king of children with top grades. Recently, her father took her out to play together. We all noticed that the little girl became a little timid and didn\’t dare to speak, so we teased her father. As the girl grew up, she started to become shy! Unexpectedly, his father sighed and said that the child\’s mother had nothing to do recently and was idle at home. Naturally, he brought the methods from work to educating his children. He also wanted the children to have the awareness of independent thinking. The children\’s views and actions were different from hers. She also said that she was disobedient, and as a result, the child was at a loss as to what to do, and was afraid of being punished if she couldn\’t do housework well, not to mention her spooky and cute energy. But should we make our children independent or obedient? This multiple-choice question seems to be a single-choice question, but in fact, if the method is used correctly, children can still have their own ideas while being obedient. He does not follow what others say, nor is he arrogant. This method is very common abroad – family meetings. Many parents wave their hands when they see the word \”meeting\”. They already have enough meetings at work, why do they have to have another meeting at home? But in fact, this method is so important for children’s independent education! What is a family meeting? As the name suggests, a family meeting is a meeting held between family members. Family meetings are mainly held to communicate opinions, cultivate family members\’ planning and decision-making abilities, resolve conflicts, share household chores, and learn social interaction experiences. This is one of the conventional education methods in many families in foreign countries. Issues where there are differences of opinion between some family members are usually discussed at family meetings. Everyone expresses their opinions and the most suitable solution is obtained after balancing everyone\’s opinions. Plan, so that many family conflicts can be solved before they develop into conflicts. This method has the most educational benefits for children. In family meetings, both parents and children are on an equal footing, and there is no question of \”who must listen to whom?\” Due to traditional reasons in China, parents and children are often in a superior-subordinate relationship rather than an equal relationship. This status suppression causes many children to lose their right to speak and at the same time lose the opportunity to exercise independent thinking. The lack of independent thinking usually does not show much shortcomings, but when problems arise, once they cannot rely on their parents and the children have no ideas of their own, they will choose to vent their emotions blindly. If parents cannot see the underlying reason, they will think that the child is rebellious for the sake of rebellion, \”He just wants to make me angry on purpose.\” In family meetings, children have their own right to speak. When they encounter problems, they will tend to \”I need to discuss this matter with my parents at the family meeting\” instead of \”I need to hide this matter from my parents.\” At the same time, during the meeting discussion, parents\’ \”equal attitude\” will also make children more willing to listen to their parents\’ opinions and learn their parents\’ way of thinking. Education will be more efficient and enter a virtuous cycle. How to hold a family meeting? 1. When will it open? It is best to hold family meetings at the end of the week, that is, on Sunday night. On the one hand, family members will not be very busy at this time.This aspect is helpful for children to summarize the problems of the week. Once the meeting time is determined, it is best to stick to it unswervingly. After a while, the children will have control over the cycle of family meetings and become accustomed to summarizing and solving problems at the weekend of every week. 2. What to prepare. Parents and children should have a good idea of ​​the problems they want to solve at the family meeting, so the family should prepare a question list for the family meeting. When a problem that needs to be discussed is found, write the question on the question list. Only after everyone sees it can they have ideas and preparations for this, so as not to miss the key points like a headless fly. 3. Where to open? Some parents ask, is it okay to have family meetings at the dining table during dinner? The answer is: No! Not only do you multitask while eating, but you also easily get off topic, and many issues are pulled apart or interrupted before they are resolved. The living room is actually more suitable for family meetings. After the meeting, the family can also eat fruit and chat together to end the meeting. 4. How to decide? In family meetings, parents should pay special attention not to be pretentious. Views such as \”you must listen to me\” often run counter to the original intention of the family meeting, making the results of the discussion meaningless. After children put forward their opinions, parents should also consider their children\’s position and make appropriate concessions when necessary. This will make children more willing to reveal their true thoughts in meetings. Only in the long run can this play a role in cultivating independence.