If you have a boy at home, the sooner you know these five things, the better

When I take care of my son, I like to close my eyes. It’s not that my eyes are bad, but that my heart is bad. I posted such a post on WeChat Moments, and unexpectedly it attracted the approval of countless mothers of boys: That’s so right! As a mother of two with two children, I should feel very happy. However, in the process of raising children, there are mixed joys and sorrows. My daughter is three and a half years older than my son. The process of accompanying my daughter is warm and sweet, and can even be described as \”Full House Romantic\”. After my son was born, I continued to copy my daughter’s parenting model, but unexpectedly I ran into snags at every turn. Only then did I realize: it’s true that men and women have different parenting styles! During my son\’s \”long\” growth process, I often couldn\’t help but complain. As long as my son is awake, he is like a wind-up toy that never stops. He was ignorant and fearless, and he was so frightened that my heart was beating fast, and I felt like I was not far from a heart attack. My best friend has two sons, and she often says helplessly to me: \”I feel that the parenting books on the market are not suitable for raising boys at all.\” There are no books to refer to, and I don\’t dare to raise them like pigs, so I am always ignored by the two parents at home. The disorganized boy was in trouble. Having children doesn\’t necessarily make you older, but raising a son definitely challenges your patience. During the past few years of battling wits and courage with my son, I worked hard to study the boy\’s characteristics, and finally mastered a 360-degree, all-round way to \”subdue\” my son. Boys are more \”childish\” than girls. Boys of the same age always appear more \”childish\” than girls. They are not sensitive to relationship insights, and it is difficult for them to accurately understand the tone, eyes and attitude of people conveying affection to each other. Because of this, they need more love and security. When my daughter was a child, she and I had a good rapport. With one look or one word, she knew what I wanted to do and what I wanted to express. She is my sweet little follower, another \”mini-me\”. The process of raising my daughter is both relaxing and fulfilling. The process of raising a son is difficult and long. He is like a puppy skin plaster, clingy and insecure. In addition to being insecure, he also has poor \”introspection\” ability. He did something wrong and was forbidden by his mother. He had to vent his emotions first before taking care of \”relationships\”. Every time at this time, my son would have a pitiful expression and ask me: \”Do you still love me?\” If I didn\’t speak, he would get anxious and ask again in a higher tone: \”Mom! Do you still love me?\” I felt a little uncomfortable. Patience: \”Love!\” He was dissatisfied: \”Why is love so fierce?\” I had to lengthen my tone and say softly: \”Love——\”. Just like a lover in love, he will not judge my feelings for him based on my long-term actions. He prefers to judge whether I still love him based on the softness or hardness of his tone at the moment. Only when I speak to him gently every time can he believe that my mother loves me. It\’s more like a little beast. You have to tame it with affection and warmth for a long time, and then it will be yours. Enough love and tenderness can make a boy more resilient when he grows up. Boys desire to be “stronger.” Every stage of a boy’s growth is accompanied by the desire to “grow up quickly” and “be stronger.” Having a sense of power is their lifelong pursuit. My son has only two mantras recently. The first is: \”I have grown up!\” The second is: \”I am so awesome!\”\”When my daughter was a child, she already \”didn\’t want to grow up\” because she was afraid that she would leave her mother when she grew up. It can be seen that the girl\’s mind is very sensitive. But boys, because they are not very sensitive to relationships and emotions, often can only \”recollect\” their previous feelings after the fact. Boys in the growing stage are like a young seedling that has no scruples and is determined to make progress. Wherever there is obstruction or rebellion, nothing can stop them from becoming bigger and stronger. My son’s kindergarten teacher once said two things: children wash their hands in kindergarten and the faucet is turned on very loudly. The teacher said: \”After you wet your hands, you should turn off the faucet and soap, otherwise you will waste water.\” Then wash your hands. After your son wet his hands, he immediately turned off the faucet and asked the teacher: \”Do you think I wasted water?\” The teacher praised him for being a good person. A good boy who knows how to cherish. My son behaved very well that morning. He carried out the teacher\’s instructions very well, without delaying or twisting. It was ten minutes before lunch, and some children were running around in the classroom. The teacher warned them: Don\’t run around, as they may fall down easily. At this time, the son quietly walked up to the teacher and asked the teacher in Hong Kong-style Mandarin: \”Lao Si, do you think I ran away?\” After receiving the teacher\’s approval, the son performed better. Children are born with a desire for affirmation, boys even more so. Their competitive mentality makes them eager to do better than others. Appreciation will allow them to accurately sort out their thoughts from the chaotic emotions transmitted by dopamine, and adapt to the \”rules\” and the environment. If you want to be more relaxed and have more appreciation and affirmation when raising boys, you are right. Is the boy naughty, restless and difficult to deal with? Boys have stronger hormones than girls, which makes them naughty, curious, active, aggressive, \”hot-headed\”, and always immersed in their own stubbornness and unwilling to come out. Scientific research shows that the size of the fiber bundles responsible for language, reasoning and emotion in boys\’ brains is much smaller than that of girls. Therefore, there are very few connections between the left and right brains of boys. Boys\’ thinking is not as comprehensive and detailed as girls\’. When my daughter was a child, after playing with her toys, she would always take the initiative to put them away, making the room very refreshing. When it was his son\’s turn, when faced with the building blocks scattered all over the floor, he just didn\’t do a good job of sorting them out, and became naughty and dishonest when he was asked to sort them out. At first I yelled at him and blamed him, but later I realized that I had wrongly blamed him. This is a boy\’s natural trait. At the same age, he is not as meticulous and thoughtful as a girl. Later, I discovered that he particularly cared about the sense of existence and value. Being a mother still requires a little bit of scheming, and this is a good time to cultivate a sense of responsibility in your son. Later, when I asked my son to help clean up, I gave him titles: \”Mom\’s little helper\”, \”Little Hygiene Keeper\”, \”Little monitor at home\”… These titles gave my son a great sense of value and responsibility. . Whenever such a title appears, without my further supervision, he internalizes the task into responsibility, and is so active that it is a bit \”excessive\”. Not only did she help me clean the house, but she also always reminded everyone: \”You must keep the house clean. I am the little sanitation keeper, and you all have to listen to me!\” When dealing with boys, if you go against them in everything, you will definitely lose. . Only with patience can you discover the secret of getting along with boys. Allowing boys to \”make their own decisions\” compared to daughters following rules,My son prefers to \”make his own decisions\” in everything. Boys are more courageous and fearless than girls, and they tend to do things regardless of the consequences. But their desire to try everything themselves is their most outstanding shining point. A three- or four-year-old child does not know right from wrong, and it is difficult for him to realize many potential dangers. The expressly forbidden imperative tone will actually arouse the son\’s rebellious psychology. I often use roundabout methods to deal with my children\’s hot-headedness. My son is extremely interested in \”driving\”. One time, he insisted on trying to drive a tram. When I wasn\’t paying attention, he inserted the key and turned it on, and he was really about to twist the handlebar… I realized in time that I really wanted to yell at him, but then I changed my mind. Think about it: What do children know? I quickly set up a difficult problem: \”How do children brake with such small hands?\” This reminded my son. He stopped, thought for a moment and said, \”When I grow up, I will learn to drive again!\” A \”tug-of-war\” ” was successfully avoided. Most boys have a \”submissive donkey personality\”. When it comes to dealing with children\’s emotional problems, being submissive is more suitable. When faced with new things that are not dangerous, children should be allowed to try and explore. Boys are born with high energy, and a safe way to release it is more conducive to shaping their tough character and good physique. Respect boys’ sense of justice. Boys have a strong sense of justice. They naturally like to fight against injustice and seek justice. Once I took my son to play outdoors, and he was attracted by a caterpillar surrounded by ants. The densely packed ants attacked and bitten the big chubby green caterpillar. The caterpillar couldn\’t bear it, struggled and convulsed and tried to roll over. My son asked me, \”Mom, what are they doing?\” I told him that they were ants hunting caterpillars. After hearing this, the son\’s eyes widened and he said angrily: \”There are so many of them (ants), bullying one person (caterpillar), these bad guys!\” He couldn\’t help but pick up a branch to drive away the ants and rescue the caterpillar. …Children’s worldview is in its budding stage. First, recognizing that the world is good and just is their way of accepting the world. At this stage, you must respect their ideas and sense of justice. For boys, fighting against injustice is a \”common problem\”. What needs guidance is boys\’ impulsive way of doing things, rather than their innate sense of justice. Respect is the best way for a boy to grow into a man. Every soft and transparent boy must have received more kindness while growing up. They can sense the emotions of others in a timely manner and respond appropriately. They are sensible yet naive. They are children who will not grow up suppressed by power. It is the soft child who is willing to open his arms and accept the world as it slowly unfolds to him. Let’s work together to raise boys.