The mother jumped off the building in front of her child! Are you the out-of-control parent?

A young mother had a quarrel with her husband over trivial matters and became so emotional that she planned to jump off the 11th floor. When the police arrived at the scene, they heard the child\’s heartbreaking cry from a distance: \”Mom, Mom!\” When the police kicked open the security door, they entered the house and saw that most of the mother\’s body had been stretched out the window. , Dad was trying to drag, but he collapsed on the ground due to obvious weakness. This thrilling scene all fell into the eyes of the child, and he was still young and could only watch helplessly and howl. Fortunately, the police arrived in time and dragged the mother firmly back into the house, thus averting a tragedy. But this news made netizens really worried: how big the psychological shadow is on the children! Indeed, the mother\’s life was saved and the complete family was saved, but how to fill the deep scars left in the children\’s hearts? When parents lose control of their emotions, it is a disaster news that children cannot avoid. We often see that too many children become the most innocent \”emotional payers\” after their parents \”lose control\”. In March this year, a mother in Anhui had a dispute with her mother-in-law over education issues. Seeing her 6-year-old child crying and fussing at the side, and even looking at her with resentful eyes, her mother couldn\’t help but feel sad, full of grievances that she couldn\’t express, so she picked up the fruit knife on the table and stabbed herself. This stabbing was seven times, and my son was stunned. In June this year, after a pair of parents had a big argument in a shopping mall, the father threw the child down in anger and walked away. I felt sorry for this child who couldn\’t even speak clearly. He couldn\’t find his parents, so he had to walk around alone in a large shopping mall with people coming and going. It wasn\’t until an old man found the child in the toilet that he called the police. . What’s even more bizarre is that neither parent contacted each other during this period, let alone asked about the child’s condition. It took the police three full days of searching to find the child\’s parents. Only then did the father realize: It turned out that he had \”lost\” the child for so long! There is another piece of news that is equally infuriating. At the airport in Ningbo, a 2-year-old boy was also \”forgotten\” by his parents at the airport: After the couple had a big argument, his father flew away and his mother drove away, leaving the child standing alone and crying. Very sad. After a long time, the parents did not come to pick up the children. So the airport staff called the police and found the contact information of the boy\’s parents through the monitored license plate number. What makes people angry is that after making more than 20 phone calls, I couldn\’t contact my parents. Finally, I called the boy\’s uncle\’s phone number and finally helped the child find his family. At this time, the child was already crying, and when he saw his uncle, he immediately ran into his arms. It\’s hard to imagine what kind of fear the boy went through. It is obviously a conflict between the parents, but in the end it is the children who bear the consequences. Why do parents let their children take \”medicine\” for their \”illness\”? In life, couples will inevitably have conflicts, but as parents, you need to consider the psychological burden that quarreling, fighting, or even engaging in excessive behavior in front of your children will bring to them. Because when the ugly relationship between parents is witnessed by their children, in addition to enduring the unwilling pain, they also begin to slowly change themselves. Because of the fear of quarrels, I became timid and learned to be tolerant. Writer Chi Li once said that when her daughter was very young, she was unwilling to let herThe son lost his father and maintained a loveless marriage with his husband. Life is full of bumps and quarrels. Such an environment made my daughter\’s character timid and fearful. Whenever there is any trouble at home, my daughter will hide in a corner and cry silently. Once her daughter pestered her to play, and she glared at her impatiently. Unexpectedly, her daughter immediately stopped crying and made no fuss, and ran to her bed and looked at the ceiling. Because of the discord between his parents, the child is timid, will not lose his temper, and will not be willful. Such children are actually the most worrying. Because they are afraid of their parents quarreling, they have learned to be tolerant at a young age. Because of lack of care, they become sensitive and insecure. Some parents always like to vent their anger on their children when conflicts break out. In the public welfare short film \”Please Love Me\”, such a scene was performed: a little girl was eating at the dining table, and she looked at her mother carefully. At this time, my mother called my father to come back for dinner, but he refused. The two of them were arguing on the phone: \”You don\’t go home to eat every day, why are you fooling around outside?\” There was also a roar from the other end of the phone. Later, the mother directed all her anger at the child: \”You can\’t even eat well, and you are as stupid as a pig. You only know how to cry. No wonder your dad doesn\’t want you.\” Parents\’ out-of-control words and deeds are like time bombs. , letting children live in fear forever. Children must carefully consider whether the adult is happy or unhappy now, whether they should avoid it or persuade them to make peace. They are even more worried about what their emotionally out-of-control parents will do in the next second, causing them to suffer. Sensitivity and suspicion have become the characteristics of children\’s insecurity. The scar remained there until I grew up. Because of the fear of being abandoned, I learn to please deliberately. Children who have experienced conflicts between their parents are most afraid that their parents will not want them. They are afraid that their father will slam the door and leave and never come back, they are afraid that their mother will commit suicide in a moment of excitement, and they are afraid that they will be left alone… Although the children are young, they are extremely sensitive. When parents are no longer close, children will blame a large part of the responsibility on themselves: it is because they are not good that their parents quarrel; it is because they are not good that their parents leave. In order to ease the relationship between their parents, some children will always pretend to be sensible, deliberately please their parents, and find ways to make them happy, for fear that if they are not careful, they will become the abandoned one again. Children in this kind of environment learn to please and accommodate. They sacrifice their own feelings in exchange for all the intimacy in life and fall into a deformed emotional cycle. Emotionally stable parents are the source of security for their children throughout their lives. Educationist Yin Jianli said: 30% of the temper you lose towards your child will cause 70% of harm to the child. And if parents are emotionally stable and love each other, they can heal their children for a lifetime. Speaking of loving couples, Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang are the most enviable couple. They are in a calm mood, like a spring breeze, leaving warm and beautiful memories for their children\’s lives. Once, Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang took his daughter Qian Yuan to a restaurant for dinner. Yang Jiang found that her daughter had been staring at people at other tables. Yang Jiang gently reminded her daughter: \”Don\’t keep staring at others. This is very rude.\” My daughter said:\”Mom and Dad, look, the parents of that family are quarreling, and the parents of that family don\’t pay attention to each other. It\’s so pitiful to be their children. I think the children of loving couples are very lucky, so I am especially grateful to you for making me a lucky child. . \”Emotionally stable parents are the source of security for their children throughout their lives. As adults, parents must first manage their own emotions and set an example for their children. Second, try to resolve conflicts between couples. Conflicts between couples are not scary. What is really scary for children is that their parents cannot resolve their conflicts anyway. In families where the core conflict between husband and wife is not resolved for a long time, the symptoms will inevitably appear in the form of problems with the children. Therefore, only by facing and resolving your own conflicts as adults can we provide children with a healthy environment for spiritual growth. Only a child who feels safe can have a stable heart when he becomes an adult, have the courage to step out of the family, have the courage to explore the world, and have the confidence to face and deal with his own intimate relationships. Only a child who feels the beauty of his family will know better how to love and be loved, and will be more willing to give his love to love others, love life, and love the world. Parenting is equal to raising oneself. The path of growth of children is also the path of cultivation for parents. In order to give our children a happy childhood, we parents must learn to control our emotions and give our children a family that can heal them for a lifetime.