Parental anxiety is a curse for children

Photo/Viktoria Sorochinski Chinese parents are more or less anxious, and my sister-in-law is one of the more serious ones. She gave birth to my cousin Ning Ning in 2004. She joined the army of anxious parents and has never looked back. I remember that when my cousin could not walk, if he sneezed or had a runny nose, my sister-in-law would immediately send her to the hospital worriedly, saying, \”My Ning Ning is born with poor health.\” Ning Ning did get sick every three days, and her sister-in-law was worried every day and tried various ways to replenish her cousin\’s health. Ning Ning is growing up slowly and her health is getting better. I thought my sister-in-law can stop being so worried. As a result, she took Ning Ning to see a psychiatrist. The reason was that once during a meal, grandma asked what she wanted to eat, and Ning Ning said: \”Then… that… the prawns.\” From then on, my sister-in-law always felt that her son kept repeating words when he spoke, and she suspected that Ning Ning stuttered. Slowly, Ning Ning became less talkative. When she occasionally spoke a few words, she would always glance at her mother out of the corner of her eyes, and her speech was always difficult like a stutter. Last year, when Ning Ning was promoted to junior high school, her sister-in-law began to get anxious and angry. I enrolled my son in many cram schools and inquired about schools everywhere. I was so anxious that I couldn\’t sleep well at night, for fear that Ning Ning would not be able to get into a good school. As a result, Ning Ning really failed to pass the exam. I heard that it was because she was so nervous during the exam that she almost fainted. It\’s very strange. Everything that my sister-in-law was worried about for her son came true. This makes me think that parents’ anxiety is simply a curse to their children. Psychological research has also found that parents’ parenting anxiety has a huge negative impact on their children. First, and most obviously, anxious parents make their children anxious too. Because such parents put too much pressure on their children, and if their grades decline even slightly, they will be taught by parents with sincere words and sincere words. How can their children not be anxious (Muris P et al. 2003). As role models for their children, parents are anxious and worried all day long, and their children are naturally influenced by them (Papee R. M. 2002). Secondly, and most seriously, anxiety causes parents to raise imbecile children. The reason is that anxious parents are accompanied by a strong desire to control and arrange and control everything about their children. Children cannot explore and learn new skills on their own, cannot make independent choices, and eventually become imbecile in life (Papee R. M. 2001). In addition, anxious parents can also lead to impairment of children\’s social adaptation and communication skills. Because of anxiety, parents seldom encourage their children but often punish them. Such children tend to have low self-esteem, dare not play with their friends, and find it difficult to integrate into the group (Biedel, 1997). After seeing so many negative consequences of parenting anxiety, parents may become even more anxious. Want to get rid of this anxiety? not simple! Parents who are not anxious are all happy, but anxious parents each have their own anxiety. Some parents pursue perfection, and their children must be excellent in all aspects, and worry if they are a little bit bad; some parents love to compare, \”Look at Brother Wang from our neighbor, he has learned such a good speech and won a gold medal. If you don\’t work hard, he will be the best.\” \”Weeded out by society\”; some parents are at a loss and don\’t know how to educate their children. In a hurry, they seek medical treatment and do whatever others do, making themselves miserable; other parents \”Foresight.” My colleague’s son was just born, and his height is lower than the average for newborns, so she worries every day about what if her son is short and can’t find a wife… Oh my god, there are really 10,000 kinds of anxiety after having a child. Method, those who are not anxious should be fake parents. However, worrying at every turn while walking with your children is a curse. Therefore, I still want to share some experience with you parents, maybe it can help you with the parenting anxiety you are experiencing. To be helpful, just remember: raising children means raising oneself. When you blame your child for always being late, when you are anxious because your child\’s grades are declining, when you constantly enroll your child in cram schools, you can try replacing \”child\” with \”child\”. \”Self\”. Please ask yourself to go to work on time every day, please pay attention to your work ability, and please continue to let yourself learn and improve. When you worry less about your children and pay more attention to and improve yourself, look back. Maybe you will be pleasantly surprised to find that your child is trying to become a better parent like you!