Parents must read these ten principles for getting along with adolescent children carefully.

After many children enter adolescence, they undergo significant changes in their physical and psychological development. At this stage, the prefrontal cortex, the area of ​​the child\’s brain responsible for execution, decision-making, planning, and impulse suppression, is still developing and is not as mature as adults. At the same time, the amygdala and hippocampus, which are related to regulating emotions and memory, are also active, and there is a strong interest in all kinds of new things. Therefore, at this stage, parents must master the rhythm and mode of communication with their children so that they can get along and communicate better. 01 Stop nagging If you are a nagging parent, you must learn to shut up at this stage. If parents have to remind their children about something they have already decided to do, in the eyes of their children, it is a sign of distrust and disrespect for them. Therefore, sometimes children deliberately procrastinate or do not do their homework, which is also a sign of resistance to their parents\’ nagging. The more parents think about it, the less likely their children will do it. 02 Avoid blaming If your child does something bad, as a parent, you can express dissatisfaction or criticize education, but you cannot blame. The biggest difference between blaming and criticizing is that criticism means that something is not done well, while blaming means that you are not a good person. For example, you can say \”Your homework efficiency is too low and your error rate is too high.\”, but you cannot say \”You just don\’t pay attention and always dawdle, which is really worrying.\” 03 Respect children\’s privacy for adolescent children For example, if you want to have an independent personality, you care about your privacy. Therefore, parents should respect their children and treat them equally. You must knock on the door when entering the child\’s room, do not touch the child\’s things, do not peek at the child\’s diary, do not interfere with the child\’s social interactions, and do not read the child\’s chat history, etc. 04 Allow children to express their opinions. Sometimes, when parents hear their children explaining or talking back, they rush to interrupt their children and do not allow their children to finish speaking or express their opinions. Children will feel suppressed and not taken seriously. After the children enter adolescence, parents should slowly retreat to the \”second line\” and let the children speak more and express their thoughts more, so that the children can have independent thinking and discernment in the future. 05 Allow children to be themselves. When parents and children do not agree on certain things, do not force the children to obey, and do not often use \”I am your parent, you have to listen to me\” to oppress. Allowing a child to be himself is the greatest encouragement and support for the child. 06 Don’t spank your children. When parents are emotionally unstable, they can leave for a while and do not educate their children at this time. Many parents just can\’t control their emotions and will beat or scold them when they get angry, only to regret it afterwards. Adolescent children are prone to impulsivity and extreme behavior. What parents need to do most at this time is to accept their children\’s emotions and guide them patiently. 07 It is not mandatory to collect mobile phones and cut off WI-FI. Today’s children have been living in the “screen age” since birth, a virtual two-dimensional space. To them, this space is as important as the real world. Many parents do not discuss this with their children, and often \”violently\” confiscate their mobile phones and cut off the Internet. For their children, it is like cutting off oxygen and they cannot accept it for a while. Therefore, parents should communicate and discuss with their children in advance through family meetings.Solve the problem of children often looking at mobile phones. 08 Provide a sense of security at all times. Adolescent children are full of entanglements in their hearts, constantly questioning themselves, and constructing a particularly fragile self in the conflict between the emotional brain and the rational brain. As a parent, you must maintain your child\’s self-esteem, do not destroy your child\’s fragile self, and provide your child with a safe haven psychologically. 09 Do not threaten children. Some children are disobedient. Many parents often say angry, cruel, and hurtful words, which make children\’s young minds feel insecure. Therefore, as parents, you should avoid saying things like, \”No matter what happens, I won\’t want you anymore, and I won\’t give you pocket money in the future. If you keep doing this, don\’t go home.\” 10 Take the initiative to admit your mistakes and repair the relationship. When there is a conflict with a child, parents should also be the first to reflect. First calmly think about why the conflict occurred, then take the initiative to knock on the door, talk to the child, take the initiative to admit your mistakes, and talk about what you did wrong. In fact, children are much more generous than their parents. As long as parents communicate sincerely, children will definitely forgive. Both parties calmly reviewed what had just happened, allowing each other\’s thoughts to be seen.