Please \”let go\” of that crying child

A few days ago, I passed by the entrance of a kindergarten. I saw a little boy who probably didn\’t want to go to school. He pulled on his mother\’s clothes and cried, \”I\’m not going, Mom.\” \”Don\’t cry!\” The child pursed his lips, but continued to cry. \”Don\’t cry. If you cry again, I\’ll beat you.\” \”Mom, mom…\” Many mothers have zero tolerance for their children\’s crying. As long as their children cry, they will immediately use their trump card. No matter how unreasonable or bizarre the child\’s reason for crying may be. Parents should also control their emotions and never yell or punish a crying child. Because it is important to understand the child to understand why he is crying. We ourselves are often affected by our emotions. Real practice is often difficult to control our temper. French psychologist Isabella Filiosa said, \”When you can shed tears of sympathy for your childhood self, you can truly understand your child.\” Never forget that you were once a child. Please let the crying child go. I believe that countless children have troubled their parents in this way: the person they designate must pick up things, otherwise, they will cry! The right foot must be put on first when putting on shoes, otherwise, it will cause trouble! The designated person must be responsible for drinking water. When others poured it, they refused to drink it and even cried! what\’s going on? Read what a mother shared on our platform. Candy: My little boy, Ma, who is about to be 2 years old, has learned to throw away diapers by himself very early, so whenever he asks me, I usually let him throw them away. One morning when I got up and happily changed my clothes, my baby\’s father threw the diaper I had changed into the trash can. Instantly, my baby collapsed, pointing at the door and crying loudly, shouting vaguely \”I threw it.\” ! I lost it…\” The baby\’s father explained to him, crying harder and harder. Later, I understood and went to the trash can to pick up the diaper I had just changed and handed it to the baby. I still broke down and cried, saying: Dad, pick it up. , Dad picked it up… I handed the diaper to the baby\’s dad, but the baby didn\’t agree and danced and cried. I had no choice but to throw it back into the trash can and my father picked it up and handed it to the baby. Brother Ma took the diaper and burst into tears and smiled. He waddled to the front of the trash can and threw it in with satisfaction… My father and I We looked at each other and couldn\’t help but laugh and cry when we saw this situation. I think all parents have encountered it. I remember my 3-year-old son was like this. Every time he went out of the stairway door, he had to open it, otherwise he would stand there crying in confusion, saying nothing. A year later, he no longer cares who opens the door. Most children enter the order-sensitive period between the ages of 3 and 4: the most prominent manifestation is that everything around them must be according to their ideas, otherwise their mood will change drastically, such as losing their temper, crying, and making trouble. That kind of behavior is often understood as being unforgiving and unreasonable. It makes the child cry and get beaten many times. Child development psychologists believe that the sensitive period for children\’s stubbornness may come from a sense of order. When constructing the special quality of a sense of order, children\’s excessive needs are often considered \”willful\” and \”crazy\”. Children during this period are often difficult to adapt to, sometimes to the point of being unreasonable. The real cause is not yet known, but children’s psychological activities must haveOrderly, and when he does not go beyond this order, he will strictly enforce it. This is something every parent should realize. Therefore, in the process of raising children, parents must work hard to help their children develop good habits and maintain them. For example, parents must control their children\’s bedtime and some procedures before going to bed, and do not easily break their children\’s order. In addition, children should not change the placement of items in the room at will, but ask for their opinions. Because children will naturally be happy because of order, and they will lose their temper because of disorder. For children who are in the order-sensitive period, as long as the items are out of their supposed places, they will quickly notice and ask for the items to be returned to their original places. Therefore, parents’ understanding and flexibility are the keys to helping children develop their sense of order. Children also cry when they face new challenges or feel frustrated. The acceptance of parents at this time can give the child a sense of security and confidence. A mother left a message saying, I am the mother of a three-week-old boy. Recently, the child loves to cry very much, for little things, such as he can\’t do it well by himself, or If something doesn\’t go his way, he\’ll cry. Anyway, what I feel is that his first reaction is to cry when something happens, which makes me very distressed. I\’m also very angry when I see him cry. I have a short temper, and I know this is bad for a child. It has an impact, but will it affect him being so prone to crying? What should I do when my child cries? Parents can\’t stand it when they see their children crying. Their temper is even worse than that of their children, but instead of crying, they yell and scold. This will definitely affect the children. Because most children cry for a reason. Psychological reasons often come from outside. For example, the feeling of powerlessness when facing parents. Many parents are unwilling to listen to their children. They always act as if they listen to me and are superior to others, so the children can only achieve their goals by crying. When faced with a mother who is impatient, fiery and doesn\’t listen to her, crying becomes the norm. Another reason is to cry to get attention. Or express their emotions by crying instead of using words. All these require parents to reflect carefully, squat down, listen to their children, and help their children express their feelings and emotions in words. I once saw a sharing case: There was a mother who was in great pain every time she sent her daughter to daycare. Because every morning when saying goodbye to her mother, the child would cling to her, complain and cry. Although he eventually stopped crying, he remained depressed all day long and didn\’t like to talk. The mother decided to arrive at school early every day so that she could have enough time to say goodbye to her child and be with her when the child cried. For the first three mornings, the mother stayed in the car and listened to her child cry for nearly an hour each time. As soon as her daughter stopped crying, she said gently, \”It\’s time to get into school. Are you ready to get out of the car and go through the gate with me?\” The child began sobbing again, clutching her tightly. After an almost unimaginably long cry, the child will quiet down, look around, quietly take a look at the lunch prepared for her in the lunch box, or turn the steering wheel of the car, and then agree to enter the school gate. On the morning of the fourth day, the child cried harder than before, but it only lasted for 15 minutes, and he quickly decided to enter the school. On the morning of the fifth day,The child didn\’t cry. She hugged her mother hard and long and said she wanted to walk through the school gate alone. The caregiver later reported that her daughter\’s self-confidence had grown significantly during that week. This change was what the mother finally saw clearly on the fifth day. When a child cries, he needs a calm parent to be by his side, pat his little shoulder, listen to his thoughts, and wait for his psychological preparation. Children\’s self-confidence will grow amazingly if they are listened to. Moreover, this process is slow and requires parents to be patient and observant. When you put enough time and thought into it, you will see your child slowly become strong and confident from the initial weak state. I hope every parent can accept their children\’s tempers calmly. Maybe our childhood was not satisfactory, but when we grow up, we look pretty good. But we know what we longed for most as children and what we feared most in our hearts. Today, that child becomes a parent. Then we have the responsibility to let our children grow up better. We all have to work harder, both for our children and for ourselves.