Please turn off your mobile phone when you go home, because your children will not wait for you

This week, my daughter\’s behavior and that of my father\’s have been closely monitored by my daughter. As soon as any one of us picks up the phone, the daughter will complain to the other party: \”Mom, dad is looking at the phone again. He said he would stop looking at it immediately, but he is still looking at it.\” \”Dad, mom is still looking at the phone. Don\’t play with us.\” With such supervision, we can\’t be shameless and pick up our mobile phones again, so we should obediently put our mobile phones far away. I find that after I put down my phone, I have a lot more time and can do a lot of things every night. After dinner, play with your child for a while, play games, think about what she learned in kindergarten, sometimes teach her to recite poems, listen to her sing nursery rhymes, build building blocks with her, watch her draw, and give her She read stories and had a fulfilling night. The child used to have the habit of going to bed late, but now he goes to bed and tells stories around nine o\’clock, and then goes to sleep. He doesn\’t need to wake up in the morning and can wake up naturally most of the time. All this is related to the agreement we made with our children last week. Last week, we solemnly told our child that from now on she can only watch paid on weekends, and her parents will not check their mobile phones when she is not watching paid. She agreed. Although it was a little difficult at the beginning and we couldn\’t help but look at our phones, we persevered under each other\’s supervision, which was unimaginable in the past. In the past, the style of our family was that the child would watch cartoons alone, with the father using a mobile phone and the mother using a mobile phone, with almost no communication. Occasionally, the parents would want to say something to the child, but she would not even raise her head. Although it was stipulated that she could only watch for half an hour a day, it often became an hour or even two hours, and most of the night passed like this. I really realized the seriousness of the problem when after the Spring Festival, one word kept coming out of my children\’s mouth, and that was \”boring\”. She kept saying \”Mom, I\’m so bored\”. When I first heard this sentence, I was shocked. She was only five years old. What did she mean by saying this all day long? Later, I felt that the problem was not with the children, but with us as parents. We go to work during the day and our children go to kindergarten. The only time we can spend time with our children when we get home is at night, and we don’t take this precious time at night seriously. Our children watch cartoons by themselves, while we watch our phones and each play with our own things. It’s quite good. good. But some of the problems that children gradually develop are caused by us. Apart from watching cartoons, they rarely communicate with their parents, and they don\’t sleep at night or wake up in the morning. I remembered a saying: If you don\’t accompany your child well, she will grow up. I feel this sentence deeply this year. Last year, my child was in a small class. Every morning, she would forcefully hope that I would carry her to school. I persisted like this for a year, and every morning she would chatter a lot on my back. However, I have always hoped that she could get down and walk on her own. Firstly, it is too tiring to carry her on her back, and secondly, I rarely see other children carrying her on her back. Therefore, I used both hard and soft methods, just hoping that I would no longer go behind her back. At that time, the child\’s father said, just be content. If you are asked to carry it now, you can carry it for a few years, and by then you won\’t be willing to carry it anymore. The father\’s words quickly came to light. Since I became pregnant with my second child, I told her that her mother could no longer carry her. Sometimes when I had enough time, I would ask the father to take her to school. This wayHer father can carry her. A few days ago, she got up early, and her father was waiting for her to say that he wanted to carry her to school. She said, \”No, Dad, you go first. I want to go with my mother.\” I observed her in the next few days, Not only did she come with me, even if the three of us walked together, she rarely asked others to carry her, and skipped all the way by herself. I finally don’t have to carry her on my back, but I feel a little disappointed in my heart. It turns out that she will grow up soon. Compared with her last year, she is so much bigger. Calculate carefully, how much time do we have to spend with her? She is 5 years old this year, and she can stay with us until she is 18 at most. By then, when she goes to college, if we want to stay with her, it depends on whether our children will give her a chance. There have been several mothers who consulted in the background. Their children are getting more and more nervous about studying, but their children don\’t like studying. As parents, we are anxious and can\’t help. What should we do? Whenever I encounter such a problem, my first reaction is: Have you just discovered that your child doesn’t like to study? Most of them answered that they were busy with work before and thought he was too young to take care of him. At that time, they were not nervous about studying. I naturally understand that when the child is young, he is not interested and feels that he is not in a hurry. He still has a lot of time. Once it is discovered that the child has a problem, it will be a big problem that is difficult to change in a short time because it has been accumulated over a long period of time. Over time, small problems can turn into big problems, small ailments can turn into major ailments, and occasional behaviors can turn into habits. Long Yingtai wrote about a girl in \”Parents Have an Expiration Date\”. When the girl was 8 years old, she met a child for the first time. The girl could draw exactly the same words and pictures on a bottle of wine given to her in a short period of time. She was surprised when she saw it, and encouraged the girl\’s parents to send her to study. But the girl\’s parents pushed back and showed off their child\’s talent for painting. Ten years later, when the girl was 18 years old, Long Yingtai saw her again. She was already living with a boy outside, with a cigarette in her hand, scantily clad clothes, her belly exposed, and a tattoo on her waist. Obviously, her parents have missed a lot in these ten years and missed her education. Now that she has grown up, it is too late for her parents to do anything. In fact, if we think about it, if we don\’t pay attention to our children, we will miss too many things. \”Weekend Parents\” tells the story of a young couple learning to be parents, with a small episode at the beginning. The mother took her child to the mall on the weekend. The child asked to go to the amusement park, but the mother hadn\’t finished shopping for clothes yet. She said, \”Let\’s go,\” but never took a step forward. The child wanted to go out, and the mother held him back. In a hurry, the child shouted, \”I\’ve stolen the child.\” When the child shouted, a group of enthusiastic people gathered and grabbed the child\’s mother. The child\’s mother said that she was the child\’s biological mother. The child was angry but refused to admit it. Everyone asks, how can you prove that you are the mother? She couldn\’t tell how tall the child was, what size clothes he wore, or what size shoes he wore. It seemed that everyone was going to beat her up as a human trafficker, but fortunately her husband arrived and resolved the situation. Although it is exaggerated for the sake of the plot, it still reflects a problem: parents spend too little time with their children. They are called weekend parents because they only spend time with their children on weekends from the time they are born., usually the grandparents are in charge of the children, they are just the children\’s playmates on weekends, and it is impossible to talk about understanding them. Do we really need mobile phones that much? I thought about it and realized that except for the occasional work call from my father at night, my phone almost never rings at night. So what do we use mobile phones for? Sometimes I use my mobile phone to catch up on TV series, sometimes I check to see if there are any messages on official accounts that need to be replied to, sometimes I check to see if there are any updates on the official accounts I follow, sometimes I check if there are any updates in my circle of friends, but I really don’t do anything serious. To do this, there is absolutely no need to hold on to your phone while spending time with your children, and most of them are not necessary. However, we all regard playing with mobile phones as a habit. As soon as we put down our mobile phones, we feel that we have nothing to do. I know that we are not the only parents who are parents like this. There are also many parents who cannot put down their mobile phones when they get home. What I want to say now is, if you are a parent, please turn off your mobile phone when you go home, because your children will not wait for you. You don\’t know when, you will find that he (she) has grown up and really doesn\’t need you anymore. Your words will no longer have any effect, and your desire to accompany you will not be recognized by your child. When your child grows up, how long can you stay with him?