Raising a poor child does not mean making the child feel that he or she is too cheap

In Chinese family education, there is a simple and crude logic that boys should be raised poor and girls should be raised rich. The so-called \”poor raising\” is understood by many people to mean spending less money and enduring more hardships. Only by being more demanding materially for children can they have the quality to endure hardships and go further in the future. It’s just that many people don’t know that in the so-called poor raising process, your children’s future is being quietly erased by you because of your wrong educational concepts. My friend\’s child graduated from graduate school last year and just started working. As a result, he was fired from his job before the six-month probationary period passed. My friend was very angry. His child\’s academic qualifications were so good and everyone praised him. How could he be fired by his employer? So he went to his employer to argue with others. As a result, when the two parties met, the other party put many labels on his children: lack of ability, bad mentality, and lack of communication… It could even be as simple as going to the property to pay the utility bill. The leader scolded him and he became depressed for several days. The only advantage is that I have a good academic background. Later I learned that the couple had a child when they were in their thirties, and the whole family\’s hopes naturally fell on this child. In order to give their children a good education, they raised their children in poverty from an early age. Every time the child made a request, the two of them retorted, \”The family doesn\’t have much money, so don\’t think about asking for things all day long. Boys should be able to endure hardship. Gradually, the child became very inferior and felt that he was inherently inferior. Unwilling to engage in social activities, often staying alone in the room; lacking self-confidence, rarely taking the initiative to try things; having no personal will, he wears whatever his parents buy and eats what his parents do; he never expresses his attitude to anyone , even though he had a lot of fear in his heart, he never dared to communicate with his parents, because he knew that his parents would definitely say that he had to solve problems by himself. The parents\’ original intention was for their children, but in the end, because they were raised poor, the children felt that they were not worthy of the world and stood alone on the edge of the world. There are many families around me who provide poor education to their children. I have a relative who works in a state-owned enterprise, and his wife is a teacher in a local high school. Their family background is very good. Just because he had been a soldier before, he always insisted on raising his children in poverty and had very strict requirements on their children. The weekly pocket money cannot exceed ten yuan, the clothes cannot be changed until they fade, and the meals cannot be picky. In fact, the child showed a tendency to have low self-esteem very early because of his father\’s strictness, but it was not until he entered college and escaped from his father\’s discipline that he really showed it. At that time, his family did not give him much living expenses, and he always felt that people around him looked down upon him, so he borrowed money from his former friends and pretended to be wealthy in front of his college classmates to cover up his inner uneasiness. Every time, he used the living expenses received from his parents this month to pay off last month\’s debt. Later, because his expenses were too high, he borrowed money from his classmates and couldn\’t pay it back, so he went to find a loan shark to borrow money. By the time the couple discovered the problem with their child, he had already owed more than 300,000 yuan in debt. My relatives felt regretful after learning that their education methods had caused their children\’s problems. Raising a poor family is not just a financial constraint; it is a way for children toChildren can establish correct values, outlook on life and world view. After knowing what suffering feels like, you can think about how to get rid of suffering, instead of sinking in the sea of ​​suffering and feeling worthless. The most terrifying thing about being raised in poverty is that you push your child into the whirlpool but don’t teach him how to escape. You watch him sink deeper and deeper, and you secretly think that doing so will give him a good future. In fact, children\’s education has nothing to do with whether they are rich or poor. The amount of money spent does not determine anything. Raising the poor has never been a matter of low prices and favorable conditions, and society has never progressed solely by people eating bran-fed vegetables. Raising poor requires parents to reduce unnecessary involvement in their children, use guidance instead of taking care of everything, use normalcy instead of over-indulgence, don\’t care about small things, don\’t compromise on big things easily, and let the children understand that no matter how difficult the environment is, , everyone has the ability to obtain a better lifestyle; in the end, through poor poverty, we can achieve wealth. Wealth comes from the spirit of children, who are rich in knowledge and connotation. If you simply think that placing a heavy family burden on a child can stimulate his potential, it will only be counterproductive. Real education is to enable children to have an independent, tenacious, abundant and optimistic soul.