The child is a genius, but he strongly denies it. The reason behind it is sad

In May and June of this year, a friend strongly recommended the movie \”Girl Genius\” to me, but at that time my third child was about to give birth and I was so busy all day long that I didn\’t have the time to think about it. After watching \”Genius\” last week, I always felt that the name was very familiar. Then I remembered that the movie a friend recommended to me also had the word \”Genius\” in it. Perhaps watching movies can become addictive. One night while my baby was asleep, I searched for this movie on Douban. The 8.1 rating made me look forward to it. I watched it in one sitting and was deeply moved. The little girl Mary is a math prodigy who has shown extraordinary mathematical talent since she was a child. When she first entered the first grade, while other children were still scratching their heads wondering what 3+3 equals, Mary could already calculate the result of 57*135 orally, and casually mentioned the square root, which shocked the teacher. If the teacher found a treasure, he immediately told Mary\’s uncle Frank about this amazing discovery. An ordinary person would have been overjoyed to learn that his child was a genius, but unexpectedly, Frank strongly denied Mary\’s intelligence. Afterwards, Frank also blamed Mary, feeling that she should not show off her math talents in school. Why is this happening? It turns out that it all has something to do with Mary\’s mother, Diane. Mary\’s mother, Diane, was a famous mathematician, but she committed suicide shortly after Mary was born. Before Diane committed suicide, she went to see Frank and wanted to talk to him, but Frank was rushing out for a date at that time. When he came back, Diane had committed suicide, leaving only her daughter Mary alone. Although he hadn\’t had time to talk to Diane in detail, Frank clearly felt his sister\’s unhappiness before her death and his anger towards his mother. My mother has always believed that Diane has a mathematical mission. It is her mother\’s wish that Diane solve the world\’s mathematical problems and become famous throughout the ages. Since she was a child, Diane has been imprisoned in the cage of mathematics by her mother. She has never been to a dance, participated in school sports, gone to summer camp, never been to a community swimming pool, or even had a playmate… In the most lively, At an age when she loves having fun and having companions the most, Diane is \”imprisoned\” at home to study mathematics day after day. How cruel this is to a child, I feel sorry for her when I think about it. Being gifted may not be a good thing for Diane, but instead becomes a tool for her mother to realize her wishes. In the eyes of her mother, it is more important to cultivate children to become \”talents\” than to become \”people\”. She has always raised Diane in a \”vacuum\” environment, resulting in Diane, who has extraordinary intelligence, but her emotional intelligence is often not online. She didn\’t know how to deal with people, let alone distinguish between bad men and quality men, and her tragic life began here. As an adult, Diane, who was innocent by nature, fell in love with a scumbag and became pregnant after a month of dating. After giving birth to Mary, she became a single mother. Diane became pregnant and gave birth to a child, which disrupted her mother\’s talent development plan. Her mother was extremely disappointed and even angry with her. She stopped caring about her from the moment she learned she was pregnant. Meeting a scumbag and having a child out of wedlock is a huge pressure for most women, and it may even be a devastating blow. But Diane\’s mother either completely controlled Diane or completely abandoned her, leaving Diane unable to be alone.Face the world. After Diane\’s death, his brother Frank was extremely grieved. With his sister\’s last words and responsibilities, he quit his job as a university assistant professor, took Mary to escape from his mother\’s control, and went to a quiet town to work as a ship repairer. Worker. Although life was poor, Frank always accompanied Mary to grow up. The first few years were quiet and peaceful. Soon, Mary reached school age, and Frank decided to send her to elementary school so that she could be exposed to more children of the same age and learn how to interact with others. However, the death of his sister became Frank\’s deadlock. He was afraid that Mary\’s talent would be known and she would follow Diane\’s path, so he deliberately chose a very ordinary elementary school for Mary. However, Mary\’s talent in mathematics is too strong, and the school\’s teaching level cannot meet her needs at all. On the first day of school, she gave the teacher a slap in the face and calculated in her head the result of 57*135, which is the scene we saw at the beginning. At school, the course content was too childish and unchallenging, and it was difficult to make friends with her peers. Mary felt extremely bored. On the first day of school, she even yelled at the principal, asking him to call Frank to take her home. Mary was originally a child with extraordinary talents. Ordinary schools and education levels were not suitable for her at all, and would even limit the development of her talents. However, Frank failed to view Mary\’s abilities objectively and choose a suitable education for her because of his \”inner demons\”. He also repeatedly refused the school teachers and principals to apply for scholarships and recommended Mary to go to a gifted school. Out of love for talents, the principal used his own connections to contact Mary\’s grandmother, whom she had never met. Grandma brought Mary a high-end Apple computer and various esoteric mathematical equations, which made Mary, who has a strong interest in mathematics, extremely excited. My grandmother, who was a top student in Cambridge’s mathematics department, had much better economic strength and social resources than my uncle. She took Mary on vacation and showed her the piano she had dreamed of. She also took her to the world\’s top university, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and asked the mathematics professor there to give Mary questions. As a result, Mary\’s mathematical talent impressed her grandmother. Both the professor and the professor were shocked. Looking at the photos of the greatest mathematicians in history, Mary\’s eyes lit up and she said boldly, \”Maybe one day my photos will be hung on them.\” Grandma really wanted to take Mary away and train her to become a mathematical genius and achieve her goals. My wish for many years is to solve world-wide mathematical problems. But Uncle Frank refused to agree, so they started a lawsuit to fight for Mary\’s custody. This is not so much a custody battle as a PK between two different educational concepts and methods. The \”tiger mother\” grandmother insisted on pursuing an elite education route. In order to train her children to become mathematical geniuses, she rarely took into account the children\’s feelings and forcefully deprived their children of their childhood. However, my uncle advocated free-range education, as long as the children were happy. However, both of these views on education seemed to be biased, and even the judge was unable to make a decision, so he had to first order Mary to be raised by a boarding family. When they separated, Mary cried and begged Frank not to abandon her. However, Frank could only reluctantly carry out the court\’s decision. In the foster home, the grandmother who refused to give up,He even secretly hid it from Uncle Mary, cruelly sent Mary\’s beloved kitten away, hired several math teachers for her, and locked her in a small room all day long to study mathematics. Mary, who thought she had been abandoned by Frank, was so desperate that she could only be at the mercy of her grandmother. Soon, Frank finally realized what his grandmother was doing behind his back. He was very angry and appeared in front of his grandmother with Diane\’s relic – a report on the solution to a world-wide mathematical problem. At first, grandma was stunned. She didn’t expect that Diane had already solved a world-wide problem, but out of resentment and revenge against herself, she kept it hidden and even left a last wish to be announced after her death! She cried bitterly when she thought that her careful cultivation had pushed her daughter into the abyss of death. After experiencing this brief separation, Frank also began to question himself. Is it really right to insist on letting Mary live an ordinary life? Will it ruin her life? After some struggle and thinking, Frank sent Mary to a gifted school to receive an education matching her abilities with adults. After school, he still took Mary to the park to play with her peers, go to the sea, and play with cats, so that she could enjoy the childhood life that an ordinary child should have. Both the grandmother and Frank in the movie went through some detours in the process of educating their children. Fortunately, they finally found the right way to treat their children. \”Tiger mothers\” like grandmothers are common in real life. In order to make their children successful, they fill their children\’s spare time to the fullest. They are extremely anxious about missing a class and worry about falling behind others. Children\’s feelings and needs must give way to learning and performance. Too often, we forget that they are just children, a person of flesh and blood, with emotions, angers, sorrows and joys. They should have the need to be respected, the desire to make friends, and the right to enjoy a happy childhood, not just Learning machine. But it doesn’t mean that in order to make your children happy, you have to go to extremes like Frank, ignore and suppress your children’s learning interests and talents, and indulge them unprincipled. Education never goes from one extreme to another. Even gifted children deserve ordinary happiness. Every parent should not control their children\’s lives under the banner of \”for your own good\”. Similarly, it is equally unfair to children to deliberately ignore their children\’s interests and talents with the idea of ​​\”just be happy\”. But in reality, how to grasp this degree may be the ultimate torture of education. I often ask in my heart in the dead of night – my children, who do you want to be? Mom is willing to do her best to help you become yourself, but have you already decided what kind of person you will be when you are born, or are you still searching for the answer in confusion… I know that there is no voice in the darkness that will answer me, really The answer always depends on me and the children to find it step by step over the long years. Just like walking on thin ice, keep moving forward.