There are no disobedient children, only parents who don’t know how to discipline them.

Every child has a positive nature. As a parent, don’t be too nervous and don’t transfer your anxiety to your children. Don’t pass on your own fear, greed, and utilitarianism to them in the process of exerting pressure. The real purpose of education is to make every child have a strong enough heart. Children with strong hearts can be strong, independent, confident and optimistic. Every child has his own life trajectory. Let go, let some uncertain things remain in life, and let the children rely on their own creativity and imagination to discover and search. The author of this book, Yang Yuying, is the founder of EQ Education Institution, and has created the miracle of alternative education for more than a hundred children from \”abandoned\” to \”worshipped\”. She encountered various \”problem children\” and \”troublesome incidents\”. Yang Yuying said: \”Thanks to every parent for their trust and the guidance of countless \”heroic children\”. These children have made our education report card more and more extraordinary. Many children have become the best version of themselves in this process.\” , so outstanding that they appeared in newspapers, magazines and TV. At the same time, there are also many urchins who have caused all kinds of troubles and become famous figures on campus. The children and parents they have come into contact with over the years have allowed them to summarize many of the key points of education and achieve this. \”My Child is Disobedient: What 4216 Troublemakers Achieve\”. This book is a very good parenting manual. It has good teaching methods for children who are disobedient, unreasonable and other situations. Parents only need to There is no child who is determined and cannot be taught well. Every child is different. Use the \”jump-raising\” method to tap your child\’s potential, let you be the most comfortable parent, and let your child be the best version of themselves. Today, I will share with you some of the parenting issues and methods in this book that are worth thinking about. Children\’s emotional buds: Those instincts that we ignore. I wonder if parents feel this way: children were cute little angels before they were 3 years old, cute and well-behaved. But after the age of 3, he turned into a little devil. He started to be angry, hit others, inattentive, and careless… and slowly turned into a \”stingy guy\”, a \”little ancestor\”, and a \”selfish ghost\”… This For those of us who are first-time parents, we may be at a loss as to what to do. But no matter what the child \”becomes\”, it is a manifestation of the child\’s growth. If we cannot identify and correct our mentality to deal with it, it may cause defects in the child\’s character and emotional intelligence. So what will the children do during this period? 1. Extremely exaggerated movements, tone, and expressions In life, we often see children whose language and movements are very \”artificial\”. Sometimes we think this is cute because they are so young, but it is a sign of a child craving attention. I have seen such a child. If someone provokes him even slightly, even if he just presses his little finger lightly, he will immediately jump up, then turn around and shout deliberately: \”What the hell are you doing!\” All his words and deeds are to let people know that he is a unique person who cannot be messed with at will. Do you also recall some similar situations? From how old are children, they begin to expect that they can be loved by others?See, whether in the eyes of children of the same age or elders, he hopes to become an important person in the crowd. Sometimes he will focus on others through being funny and funny. If he can get everyone\’s enthusiastic response, he will feel like he is liked and noticed. Sometimes they even deliberately provoke or do \”bad things\” to attract others\’ attention. Exaggerated language and movements are just one of the more common manifestations. Why do children want to be \”center\” so much? Because at this time, they will feel that they are respected. If their behaviors are not responded to, they will fall short of their ideal expectations, and they may engage in more extreme behaviors, such as losing their temper, throwing things, or even taking action. Parents can try to help their children find their own talents and limitations, so that they can learn to accept their own limitations, understand that they also have areas where they are not good at, and understand that not everything needs to be a showdown. For example, you can say to your child: \”I found that you are very good at running, but you don\’t like painting, right? Mom/Dad also prefers swimming to singing. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. Where is the place.\” When a child can accept his own shortcomings and face them bravely, his self-esteem will be stable and his own abilities will be improved. 2. Clinginess and dependence Defei\’er Educational Institution once conducted such an experiment. The content of the course was to let children go to the park area to find strange children to play games with. At first, the child was very excited and looking forward to it. But just before departure, when they found out that they couldn\’t take their parents with them, they became hesitant: Is it true that they can\’t go with mom/dad? It\’s not uncommon to see situations like this: \”The excitement about going out suddenly disappeared, and the tone revealed worry, as if without the company of parents, it was difficult to even breathe.\” These worries of children also mean that usually with just a look or \”ouch\” from their children, parents will immediately rush over to help them solve their problems and arrange everything. I saw such a little girl in the park. She watched other children having fun in the sand pool. Although she was eager to try, she still hugged her father\’s neck and refused to leave. Only when her father also entered the sand pool could she Really play with it. Maybe in the father\’s eyes, his daughter\’s dependence makes him feel warm and cute, and his sense of responsibility is overwhelming. He is willing to protect his daughter from all wind and rain from now on, but parents who don\’t know how to let go cannot teach their children to grow up freely. Parents must learn to return their children\’s problems and use our abilities to help their children solve the problems in front of them, which is to pave a \”dead end\” for their children. Therefore, sometimes even if you are reluctant to let go, you still have to tell your child how to face this problem, how to protect yourself, how to accept losses, and how to stand up on your own. In daily life, we can ask more questions for children to think about, ranging from what to eat today to family travel planning, etc. We can try to invite children to think. Take your children to explore a variety of things more, giving them the opportunity to receive a lot of external stimulation and increasing their vitality.Live experience helps children have a more substantial problem-solving database, and then you will find that children can face problems more positively when they encounter them. Every child has a positive nature, but it is not difficult to see that they sometimes cry and make trouble, trying to use emotions to solve problems. As parents, when encountering children\’s emotional problems, they should first figure out what they are thinking. Only by first finding the key points in their emotions can they communicate better with them. Cracking the Emotional Code: Essential EQ Knowledge for Educators When talking about EQ, many people immediately think of emotions and emotional intelligence. So why should we cultivate children’s emotional intelligence, something so adult? When children are young, shouldn’t they be cared for as much as possible and allowed to grow freely? During the growth of a child, in addition to physical development, there are also psychological and emotional buds. If we do not regulate the child\’s emotions, it will be like the child being sick but not treating it. As mentioned above, if the education of emotional intelligence is ignored, children will have various problems. So what do we do? First of all, we should have the following preparations: 1. Don’t let your love become a burden to your children. The book cites a case in which several mothers who value education were talking about the various courses arranged for their children. Some signed up for piano lessons, math classes, English classes, and even computer programming courses. Without exception, these mothers are paving the way for their children\’s future. They don\’t want their children to lose at the starting line, let alone lose their competitiveness when they grow up. A child is an independent subject with his own creativity, thinking and execution abilities. Even if the child is brought into this world by us, he will eventually become himself, with his own thinking, context and future. \”Child, I hope you live a better life than me.\” This should be the most common comment we hear from parents. Therefore, parents will try their best to collect resources, protect their children, and use their own resources to prepare and organize everything for their children. In order to protect the child\’s safety from head to toe, and to prevent the child from taking the wrong path, tell the child the ending at the beginning, tell them the \”correct\” way, and arrange all \”safe and pleasant things\” for the child. The result is that we will raise a child who is obedient, protected by rules, and unable to see emptiness and creation. If we want our children to be truly better than us, then they must not continue to walk on the path we have planned, because we cannot plan for things beyond our vision. The most important and effective method should be to teach children the ability to identify dangers, face dangers and solve dangers. We must let children come into contact with danger, let them try and make mistakes, think about problems, and solve problems on their own. Parents have love and responsibility for their children, but this should not become a \”burden\” for their children now or even in the future. 2. Let children learn from making mistakes. As people who have experienced it, we will inevitably miss opportunities and be punished for making mistakes in our childhood. When our children may also experience these mistakes, we directly help them when they make mistakes because we are afraid that they will get hurt and that they will not do well.Get everything lined up. The children are comfortable and comfortable, but what do they gain? They are lacking in experience, lacking in emotions, and ultimately lacking in life. Is this what parents want? We already know very clearly that the cup is on the table, but the child is still crying that he can’t find the cup. Seeing the child collapse with tears and runny nose, screaming hoarsely, the fastest way is to take the cup directly. Have or always have a cup ready for your child. But this most efficient method can never teach children how to stay calm, evaluate the situation and work hard to solve problems in a chaotic state. The above-mentioned process will be one of the many important moments in life that cannot be avoided. Research tells us that children who are arranged to go on a smooth road in life may fall to the bottom once they encounter setbacks and find that the standard answers are no longer valid. But at that time, whether he could get up or not was another matter. If you want children to explore problems and make mistakes on their own, you will definitely waste time. But learning without making mistakes is the most effective learning. Therefore, we need to let them experience chaos and confusion, and try to grope alone in the dark to clarify the direction and find the solution. Give children more opportunities to try and explore. Although they will be painful, sad, anxious, and panicky, they will also be happy, beautiful, and satisfied with their achievements. In this process, the child can grow his own wisdom. 3. It is the greatest satisfaction for parents to achieve equality and respect for their children to succeed. We expect our children to be capable and successful, but we don’t think about what we are going to do? Just like parents hope that their children will become inventors like Edison, but Edison \”wasted\” 27 years before inventing the filamentless light bulb, and it is impossible for most parents to let their children waste so much time in a room. Sometimes the equality and respect we give our children is conditional. Only when the children\’s choices meet their parents\’ expectations can we achieve the so-called \”respect\” and \”let go\”. We often say respect our children, but what exactly should parents do? You must listen to your child\’s voice, understand your child\’s feelings, give your child his responsibilities, and give your child the reasonable way he expects to be treated. This is the first step to equality and respect. Parents should not let their emotions affect their children\’s behavior, and should not use our experiences to limit their children\’s thoughts, let alone help our children make all choices because of our panic about life and the future. More importantly, parents should have enough faith and courage. If we have the courage to face panic, have enough faith to believe that our children are now challenging the world instead of wasting their time, and can believe that the best future for our children is definitely not to help them arrange a smooth life path, then we can let go. Let the child make his own choices and face the joys and sorrows or various setbacks and challenges in life alone. Methods of parenting: Give your child\’s life back to himself. Many parents are confused. Our parents have never told us what emotional management is. How to raise a child without hitting or scolding, but also speaking well and listening to their voices attentively. So many more difficulties and restrictions? I believe many people haveSuch an experience: Because something happened, maybe the parents didn’t let me eat snacks, or maybe the parents didn’t buy the toys I wanted, so I got emotional inside and started crying and yelling. At this time, your parents came over with sticks and pointed them at you to tell you to shut up and be quiet, otherwise they would beat you. Everyone would choose to be quiet at this time, but if you are quiet, have you learned to deal with emotional problems? In the same way, if we still use beating, scolding and threats to educate our children, will he learn to deal with problems? Stick education is just a trouble-free method, but it is not a good method. In education, denying a child\’s emotions, such as asking him to be quiet and not allowed to cry, is of no use to the child\’s spiritual growth. However, it may cause him to suppress himself, causing bad consequences. When facing a child\’s emotional problems, you can choose the following method: 1. Let him know that you understand his emotions. When a child has emotions, the first step to soothe the child\’s emotions is not to stop the emotions from occurring, but to let the child know, You understand his emotions, you know how he feels. You have to look at it from the child\’s perspective, imagine why he behaves like this and what he wants, so that you can prescribe the right medicine. 2. Ask him how he feels and guide him to express his emotions appropriately. When your child has emotions, you have to ask him how he feels and why he is angry. When a child expresses why he is angry, he may not express it clearly. You need to guide him to express more complete emotional sentences. For example, ask him how he feels now. Why do you feel this way? Never try to preach from an adult\’s perspective when you open your mouth. When you preach, you are actually ignoring the child\’s feelings and making the child lose the desire to talk to you. He will feel that you don\’t trust him and don\’t care about what he thinks. and feelings. 3. Give praise and affirmation and discuss ways to solve the problem together. When the child speaks a complete sentence expressing emotions, you can first praise his behavior and clearly let him know that you think he is great and you are more willing to work with him. Solve problems together. This will not only soothe the child\’s emotions, but also make him feel respected during the praise. At this time, you can use a discussion tone and work with him to find ways to resolve the conflict. Such a process may take more time and effort than teaching the child directly, but it is much more useful to the child. In this process, he will figure out the source of his emotional problems and learn to How to relieve emotions and solve problems. In fact, educating others first educates yourself. How you teach your children is how you treat yourself—how you treat your own needs and your relationship with other people, things, and things. The easiest way to do a good job in education is to do a good job yourself. Be a good person so that you can laugh when you are happy; be a good person so that someone can hug you when you are sad; be a good person so that you can have a chance to express yourself when you are angry without losing focus. , after sorting out your emotions, you can see problems and difficulties, and you can start to solve them; do a good job for yourself, and don’t easily carry other people’s difficulties on your shoulders, and don’t easily ask others to bear the burden of your pain.responsibility. Because everything you do with your children is the best way to teach by example. Finally, I wish all parents to experience, feel and grow on this unique journey, and then have a great time.